


Broken

by scatterthestars



Category: Glee, Glee RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Minor Character Death, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-01 11:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 80,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatterthestars/pseuds/scatterthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was going to tell him and be done with it.  But when things change, and Chris still finds his teacher, Darren, still in his life, he deals with the curveball that life throws him.  And it’s when he seeks comfort from the person he loves is when rules that aren’t meant to be broken are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rapidly tapping his pencil against his notebook, chewing his lower lip out of nerves, Chris debates with himself if this is a smart idea.  He weighs the pros and cons of what he's about to do. 

There are many pros to this.  The big one being that it gets this weight he's been carrying around for the past year and a half off his chest.

The con, of course, being he is more than likely going to make a big fool of himself in front of the one person he desires.

But, in the end, he's been set on doing this for some time now.  And he's going to follow through.  He's gathering his courage and he's doing this.  Nothing is going to stop him.  He’s fighting through all the nerves he is currently feeling to do this.  Hell, he might faint or end up puking, but that won’t stop him from saying what he needs to.

Hearing the ring of the bell overhead--officially announcing the end of the school year--Chris smiles at his friend, Linden, before she walks off after he tells her he has something to do.  Seeing her eagerness to leave and be done with school for the next two and a half months, he doesn't want to hold her back for longer than need be.

Stuffing his notebook in his backpack and standing up, he places the straps on his shoulders.  Taking a deep breath, and clearing his mind, he walks to the front of the room.

Being hopelessly in love with a teacher wasn't something he planned.  He's only seventeen and has yet to experience the world.  But from the first moment he laid eyes on Mr. Criss all those many months ago, he's been a goner.

The curly hair, the green eyes, the smile that makes him lose all train of thoughts when he smiles towards him.  It's a combination of many things, and it all resulted in him falling in love.  He knows Darren is almost eleven years older than him; that he might have a boyfriend.  Hell, he could be engaged!  But Chris doesn't care.  He still loves him.

"Hey, Chris," Darren excitedly greets him as he continues to stack and arrange papers in a neat pile.  "What are you still doing here?  Shouldn't you be off with your fellow classmates celebrating the start of summer?"

"I should be.  God knows Linden is ecstatic summer is here."  He nervously laughs.  Twirling a piece of loose thread from his shirt around his finger, he digs up the courage to say what he needs to.  "I actually wanted to tell you goodbye.  I know you're leaving for New York next week to start your new job."

Chris remembers his heart dropping when Darren informed them a little over a month ago that he was leaving this job for New York.  He wanted him here; wanted him where he could see him every day during school.  But, be it as it may, it's not his choice to get what he wants.

The only good thing with Darren leaving is that he can confess his feelings without worry of having to see him again. 

"Thanks."  Darren beams at him, stopping his paper shuffling and giving him all his attention.  "I am.  I'm excited."

"You were a wonderful teacher, Mr. Criss," Chris tells him.

"Thank you.  And call me Darren.  I'm not your teacher anymore."  Darren places his hands on his hips, tilting his head a bit to the side. 

"Well, since you're no longer my teacher, I figure it's safe for me to say this."  Chris nervously smiles at Darren as he shuffles his feet.

"Say what?"

"I'm in love with you," Chris just blurts, not wanting to wait another second at keeping his secret.  Instantly, he sees the grin fall from Darren's face as he drops his hands from his hips.  In his eyes, Chris makes out a mixture of fear, and what he thinks is hope.  But he can't be all too sure on that.

"Chris?"  Darren says in low, soft voice, sounding like he's unsure of what to say.  "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, I think I do."

"No, you don't."  Darren shakes his head.

"Why, because I'm seventeen?  I might be young, but I know how I feel towards you is real."

"What do you expect me to say to that, Chris?  Oh, I've harbored feelings for you all this time, as well.  I hope you don't expect to hear that."

"I don't expect you to say anything," Chris spits out, anger starting to swim through his veins.  This is not how he thought this would go.  Yeah, he didn't expect Darren to return his feelings.  But, he also didn't expect him to be an asshole about it.  "I did this for me.  To get this off my chest.  I never wanted to hear you say you felt the same."

"Well, good, because I'm not gonna go along with your school-boy crush."

"I'm gonna go.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Goodbye, Mr. Criss," Chris says in anger and frustration.

Turning and bolting out of the room, he runs down the hall to the door.

"Chris, wait!" he hears Darren yell from behind him.

Ignoring Darren, and forcing himself not to cry, Chris runs outside and stops.  Taking a deep breath to calm his racing heart, he spots Linden leaning against her car parked next to his.  Going over, he does everything to forget what happened; he pushes away the feelings of heartache so Linden doesn't ask what's wrong.

"You ready to leave this all behind for the next two and a half months?"  Linden asks when he stops in front of his car.

"Yes."  Unlocking his car, he climbs behind the wheel and starts the car.  Chris feels as a single tear rolls down his face.  In front of him, walking outside, he sees as Darren spots him.  But refusing to acknowledge him, he drives away.  "Yes," he whispers to himself as he drives away from the person who just broke his heart.

~

After revealing to Darren how he felt about him, and subsequently fleeing out of his classroom after their...fight (he figures that's the best word for it), Chris spends his summer vacation forgetting it ever happened.

He hangs out with Linden most of the time.

They do typical things like go to the movies, hang out at the mall, stay nights at each other's homes, and all other stuff.  It's a summer of being teenagers and having fun.

It's what he needs.  He needed time to get over what happened.  He needed away from the pain he felt.  Spending that first week of summer locked away in his room crying into his pillow was relieving, but he didn't want to spend his summer feeling pathetic.  So after that week, all he gave himself to get over the pain, he pulled himself together and moved on.

If Linden ever wondered what went on that first week, she never questions him on it.  He's grateful to her about that.  Grateful she gave him the space he needed without having to ask her.

Afterwards, they spend the rest of summer practically glued to the other's hip.  And he has fun.  He's carefree.

But the end of summer comes too fast; and before he knows it the first day of his last year of high school sneaks up on him.

~

He hates first days of school.  Body still set on summer vacation time, and wanting to go back home and sleep, he groans as he drops his forehead to his new locker; hearing a small bang ring out at the contact.

"Hey, Lin," he softly gripes, wondering who she bribed to get their lockers next to each other.  "Do me a favor and shoot me.  Spare me the misery of another school year."

"No can do, Chris," Linden says with a voice too bubbly for eight o'clock in the morning.  Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her apply some chapstick.  "It's our senior year.  Time to have fun."

"Fun?  We have fun," he replies, turning to her.  "We have lots of fun."

"I mean besides talk shit about other students."  Linden arches an eyebrow at him.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Chris cheekily responds, grinning at her.  He lifts his head from the locker.  "So, what does fun...mean?  Include?"

"I'm not entirely sure about that, yet.  But when I figure it out, I'll tell you."  Seeing Linden close her locker and lift her bag strap over her shoulder, Chris loops his arm through her offered one.  "Come on, we'll be late for English."

Walking down the crowded hallway, ignoring the glares and comments thrown his way, he counts the days until the end of the school year.  "How did you manage to get us in three classes together?" he asks as they turn a corner and walk down the hall to their classroom.

"I have my ways," Linden replies with a grin.

"Whatever you say."  Chris chuckles.  Walking into his English class, not really in the mood for the start of classes, he stops dead in his tracks at who stands at the front of the room.  His laughter immediately dies on his lips.

Looking cute as ever, Darren wears jeans and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.  Glasses sitting perched on his nose make him even sexier.

This is like a nightmare come to life.  This can't be happening to him.  Never in a million years did he think he would see Darren again.  He doesn't get it.  Doesn't understand why he's here when he should be in New York. 

Why?

"Linden?  You know how I jokingly asked you to shoot me?"  As Chris talks, he keeps his attention on Darren as he continues to read the papers in his hand.  He hears Linden reply with a yeah.  "This time I'm not joking.  Shoot me."

"What?"  Linden asks confused.

Quickly taking a seat at the back of the class; and sitting behind a guy much bigger than him so he can be hidden.  Dropping his forehead to the top of the desk, realizing he needs to stop doing that if he doesn't want a headache, he wonders who he pissed off to have this happen to him.

"Alright, class," Darren says with a voice loud enough to be heard over the students talking after the bell rings.  "I'll take attendance and then talk about the elephant in the room."

Chris cowers and hides, listening as Darren calls the names before him.  Hearing him call Linden's name, then John's, he knows his name is next.

"Ch-"  He hears Darren clear his throat.  "Chris?"

Maybe if he shuts his eyes and wishes hard enough, he'll wake up from this terrible nightmare.  Maybe this will all go away.

"Chris?"  Darren calls again.

He opens his eyes.  "Damn, still here," he mutters under his breath.  Linden gives him a confused look.  "Here."  He raises his arm to show where he is.

After that, Darren finishes taking attendance.  "Okay," he says.  "You’re all probably wondering the same thing."

A collective of "Yeahs" ring out in the room.

"Well, New York was a bust.  Turns out that wasn't for me.  What I wanted is here."

Chris rolls his eyes at where his head is still on the desk.  He doesn't understand why Darren just doesn't say he was fired or something?  Not that it wasn't for him.  New York is for everybody looking to get out of here.  So, it most definitely was for him.

Staying hidden behind the boy that sits in front of him, Chris spends the rest of the class with his head on his desk avoiding looking up at Darren.

When the bell rings signaling the end of class, he's bolting up and quickly exiting the room as fast as he can.

"Hey, Chris," Darren says to catch his attention as he hurriedly leaves.

"Bye, Mr. Criss," Chris mumbles over his shoulder.

Going to his locker, and throwing it open a bit more forcefully than he means to, Chris shoves his book in his locker.

"You know Mr. Criss kept looking at you," Linden says next to him as she grabs her Physics text book.

"What?!"  Chris looks at her like she just something in a different language.

"Yeah."  She nods her head and zips up her backpack.  "He kept looking at you.  Like...a lot.  It looked like he wanted to tell you something.  Why would he be doing that?”  Linden is quiet for a few seconds, Chris noticing as she thinks something over.  “What happened that last day of school a few months ago?  I remember you staying after, and I’m assuming you talked to him.  What did you two say?"

Chris freezes as Linden's question.  He knows he can't tell her the truth.  So, he decides it's best to not tell her anything.  "Trust me," he mumbles as he slams his locker shut.  "You don't want to know."  Seeing the look of curiosity on Linden's face, Chris knows it's best if just walked away right now.  "Look.  I gotta go.  Don't want to be late for Calculus.  See you at lunch?"

"Definitely," Linden replies, nodding her head.

"Okay." 

Walking away, Chris hopes with Darren back it doesn't create an unneeded tension between them.  He hopes this year can go smoothly without problems.

For the first few days, he believes that's what's going to happen.

He manages to avoid Darren at all costs.  Always arriving to class a few seconds before the bell rings, and always one of the first ones out of the room at the end of class, he manages to go the first two weeks of barely muttering a few words to him.  And when he does talk it's because Darren calls on him during class for an answer. 

That is, until, Darren changes things.

"Okay, class," Darren calls out after the bell rings Monday morning, leaning back against his desk.  "I need an assistant for the year.  I did this last year, as well.  I'm asking you guys because you are seniors, just like my assistant last year.  You’ll just be helping me out by grading papers and nothing much else.”

Chris remembers that.  Recalls the girl, Kelsey, he thinks her name was, sitting with Darren the one day out of the week grading papers.  He remembers being jealous of her.  She got to be alone with Darren.  It was all he ever wanted, and he found himself wishing it was him sitting in his classroom grading papers.

But now...He's not so sure.  Writing a ten thousand page paper on a subject he hates sounds more appealing than that.

Around him, though, he hears as other students get excited at getting the chance to be Darren's assistant. He notices a few girls get a bit too excited at the idea.  It's then he remembers that he's not the only one with a crush on teacher.

He's noticed over the years the way some of the girls have looked at Darren.  It was almost like he was a bowl of milk and they were the hungry cats.  He knows the look because he's positive he sported it a few times.  But not anymore.  He's keeping that under control.  Darren is just another teacher to him.  Nothing more.

"So, if you like to help me out," Darren says as he picks up a stack of papers from his desk, "grab one of these and fill it out.  I'll announce who I've picked on Friday.  Also, whomever I choose, know I will be giving them extra credit for this."

When the bell rings forty minutes later, Chris lingers long enough to see pretty much every girl grab a form to fill out, hopeful smiles on their faces.  He also sees a few guys grab one.  Rolling his eyes, he slings the strap of his bag across his chest and starts to walk out of the class.  It’s none of his business who grabs a form; he’s not going to get jealous over the person who gets picked.

"Chris?"  Darren suddenly calls his name.

Turning around, he lets out an annoyed sigh as he looks at Darren.  "Yes?" he uninterestedly asks.

"You're not going to grab a form?"  Darren stands up and grabs a single paper from the stack on his desk, stepping towards him.

"Do I have to?"  Chris watches as Darren holds out the paper to him.

"No."  Darren shakes his head.  "But you might change your mind."

"I'm positive I won't."

"Take it.  Just in case."  Darren holds out his hand more.

Taking the piece of paper Chris turns on his heel and heads for the door.  Stopping and looking over his shoulder, seeing Darren watching him, he crumples up the paper and drops it in the trash.  Walking away, he lets out a small, frustrated sigh; he kind of wished he didn’t just do that.

~

Dropping his last night's homework on top of the pile on Darren's desk, Chris ignores the smile he gives him.  Even though he does his best to ignore him, he can’t ignore how his heart flutters in his chest at the small, simple gesture.

Walking to his desk, he sits down and smiles at Linden, letting out a small laugh when he finds her reading Atonement.

"Nice book choice," he comments.

Linden looks at him and shrugs her shoulders.  "It's good.  The whole tragic love story is sad.  But I'm enjoying it."

"Fucking Briony," Chris says.

"Fucking Briony," Linden repeats.

They both start laughing, ignoring the snide remarks the other students tell them.

"All right, class," Darren announces after the bell rings.  "I'm guess you want to know who I've chosen."

A reply of yeahs is heard from the students.

Lying his head down on his folded arms on the table, Chris closes his eyes and starts to feel himself drift off to sleep.  He couldn't care less about the person that was picked.  All he cares about right now is this school day ending.

"Alright.  Congrats, Chris," Darren announces.  "You're my new assistant for the year."

Chris throws his eyes open and sits there in shock for a second.  For awhile he can't think of anything.  And when he does, all he can think is _"That asshole!”_ and _“Yes!”_ at the same time; although the yes is drowned out more by the other thought.

He can't believe he did this.

Thinking about it, now, he figures the whole thing was rigged from the beginning.  He assumes Darren just wanted to appear to be giving the other students the hope of getting picked.  It was never going to happen.  He had him picked from even before he announced this to the class.  It's probably the main reason he wanted him to fill out a form, so he could choose him.

But he doesn't understand why.

"Hey, Chris, congrats."  Linden gives him a playful shove on his shoulder when he sits up.

Ignoring the glares some of the girls throw him, Chris looks at Darren standing proud in the front of the classroom.

"Thanks."  He finally manages to mumble to Linden after dropping his head to his desk with a small thunk.

Pissed for the rest of the class period, wanting the class to be over and gone for the weekend, he is relieved when the bell rings forty-five minutes later.

Grabbing his stuff, he starts to head out of the room.  But he's stopped by Darren calling his name.  "What?" he says angered and annoyed.

He can't believe Darren is doing this to him.  Putting him through the embarrassment of being alone with him after what happened.  It sucks.  Right now, he wants nothing more than to go on avoiding Darren like he's been doing.  And being alone with him for thirty minutes is something that he is going to dread.

"I'll see you Wednesday during lunch.  Okay?"  Darren tries to say in a comforting voice.

"Whatever."  Chris turns and walks away, biting his lower lip to hold in the scream of frustration he wants to release.

~

Sitting half-way up the bleachers, half-heartedly eating his fries, Chris pays little attention as Linden ogles and talks about Matthew Avery down on the football field.  He watches him for a few seconds; watches as he tosses a football back and forth between guys on the football team with him.

Watching him, Chris gets it.  He's hot.  Fit body, short, blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile to knock them dead, he understands why Linden could find him attractive.  Besides being the quarterback, he's mister popular around school.  He's, personally, never talked to the dude--sees no reason why he should.  But looking at the look of pure want in Linden's eyes, he figures he should give her a little nudge.

"You should go talk to him."  He sets his fries down, no longer hungry.

"You're crazy."  Linden snorts as she eats a fry.  "He has no clue who I am."

"That doesn't mean anything.  You never know, you two could hit it off."  Chris tries to sound encouraging, giving Linden a small nudge to her shoulder.

"I'm pretty sure we wouldn't," Linden replies in a defeated sigh.  "Besides, I think he has his eye on Johanna Staceson."

"That bimbo!"  Chris exclaims.  "You're so much better than her.  And way prettier."

"Thanks.  But, let's drop it."  Linden leans back on the row of bleachers behind her, and lifting her legs and crossing her ankles on the row in front of her.  "Besides, we should be talking about the fact that you're here when you should be in Mr. Criss' room right now."

"I'd rather not, thank you very much." Chris lets out a huff of breath, not in the mood to talk about the fact that he's here and not there.

"Why don't you want to be there?"  Linden drops her feet and sits up, facing him.

"I just don't want to," Chris gripes.  "He's not my favorite person in the world right now."

"What happened the last day of school?"  Linden seriously asks again.

"Nothing."  Standing up, Chris grabs his bag and places the strap over his shoulder.  "I'm going.  Bell is about to ring."

"Why won't you tell me, Chris?"  Linden says as she follows him down the bleachers.

"Because there is nothing to tell," Chris replies, turning to face Linden when he reaches the bottom of the bleachers.  "Nothing happened.  Not a damn thing!"

"Why are you mad and yelling at me?"  Chris sees the slight hurt filling Linden's chocolate colored eyes, and he feels like an asshole.

"Because," he sighs, "it's embarrassing what did happen."

"What happened?"

Linden is his best friend; he trusts her more than anything.  That's why he decides to tell her what happened.

Plopping down on the first row of the bleachers, Linden sitting down next to him, he tells her everything.  He tells her about how he feels, telling Darren, and how he reacted.  He even tells her about being picked to be his helper when he didn't sign up for it.

"Wow!"  It's the only thing Linden says after he finishes talking.

"Thanks for the support," Chris jokes, letting out a forced laugh.

"I'm sorry."  Linden wraps an arm around his waist and gives him a comforting squeeze.  "It's just that...It's all so crazy."

"I know."  Chris nods his head in agreement.  A few yards in front of them, Matthew catches the football one of his friends throws him.  He's not sure if he's noticing things, but he swears he sees him look to Linden and smile.  "Anyways," he says, going back to the subject on hand, "I'm not really up to being alone with him right now."

"Why do you think he picked you?"  Linden questions with curiosity.  "Maybe he does like you.  Oh, my God!  Could you imagine if that were the case and you two hooked up?  Scandalous!"

"Aren't you supposed to talk me out of possibly ruining a man's life if that were to happen?"  Chris chuckles; not all surprised by Linden's thoughts.  "Besides, he made it pretty clear he doesn't see me as nothing more than his student."

"If it were to happen, though, hypothetically, let's just say...I'd pay to see the two of you make out."

"I'm not sure how I should take that," Chris says slightly confused.

"Hot," Linden whispers to herself with a far off look in her eyes; Chris knows she's imaging Darren and him making out.

Letting out a chuckle, he wishes Linden's imagination was his reality.  But, as it, it's not. 

Standing up, taking Linden with him, he links his arm through hers as they walk back to class.

"Seriously...Hot!"  Linden grins at him and arches an eyebrow.

~

It's the first time he's early to class. 

Walking into the room, finding only Darren inside sitting at his desk, Chris goes over to his desk.  Dropping his bag to the floor and sitting down, he pulls out his phone and slumps some in his seat.  Opening a game on his phone, he plays to avoid Darren.

Looking up when someone clears their throat, Chris finds Darren standing over him.

He might not like him very much at the moment, but that doesn't stop Chris from coming up short of breath when he looks at him.  He's gorgeous, and Chris knows he'll always see him as that.

"Yes?"  Chris says, managing to sound annoyed.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"  Darren asks as he sits down in the desk in front of Chris, twisting to face him, arms crossed over the back of the seat.

"I guess so."  Chris closes the game he was playing and places his phone on his desk.

"Where were you yesterday during lunch?"

"Eating lunch," Chris replies with snark.

"Why didn't you come to my classroom?"

"Was I supposed to?"  Chris picks up his phone when Linden sends him a text saying she has something exciting to tell him; he acts like he doesn't know what Darren was talking about.

"You know you were supposed to come."  As Darren talks, Chris sees as students start to trickle into the room.

"I didn't think it was mandatory," Chris tells him.  "So I didn't come."

"It's not mandatory.  But I would appreciate it if you showed up.  So, I expect to see you during lunch next Wednesday," Darren says in a bit of a stern voice.

"Whatever."  Chris rolls his eyes and watches him stand up and walk away when the kid whose desk he sits at walks into the room.

Noticing Linden walk into the room looking a little too happy, cup of coffee in her hand, Chris can see she has a bit of a bounce in her step.

"So, what's the great news?" he asks when she sits down.

"Guess who talked to me?"  Linden giddily says.

"Who?"

"Matthew," Linden says with a bit of a squeal, wide grin on her face.

"Bullshit!"  Chris is just as shocked as Linden.  "What'd he say?"

Listening to Linden as she tells him about running into Matthew while getting coffee, he ignores Darren as he starts to teach.  He smiles as she goes on and on about them just talking about nothing.  But she sounds upset when she tells him he had to leave because Johanna was waiting for him in his car.

"Are they even together?"  Chris questions.

"I don't know.  I think so."  Linden lets out a defeated sounding sigh, shrugging her shoulders.  "At least he talked to me."

"Yeah."  Chris nods his head.

Walking out at the end of class, Chris goes back when Darren calls his name.  Stopping in front of his desk, he places his hands on his hips and arches his eyebrow.  "Yes?" he says sounding annoyed.

"I'd really appreciate it if you paid attention in class," Darren chastises him.  "Talking to Linden and playing games on your phone is not something you should be doing.  I've asked around to your other teachers, and they tell me you are a perfect student.  I'd like it if you were like that in my classroom."

"Fine, Mr. Criss," Chris sees the little jerk that goes through Darren at the name, "I'll be a perfect student.  I'll be whatever you want."  Forcing a fake smile, he turns on his heel and walks out of the room. 

Gripping the strap of his bag so tight his knuckles turn white, he thinks about how he still wishes to be so much more than Darren's student.

~

Plopping down in his desk he sits at when he's in this class, noticing Darren isn't here he places his backpack on the desk and uses it as a pillow.  Eyes starting to close, thinking he might get in some sleep, he groans when he hears the door close.  Without lifting his head, Chris knows who it is.

"Come sit by my desk, Chris," Darren tells him in a calm, neutral voice.

Chris hears the drag of the chair against the floor as Darren pulls it out.  Not moving, he ponders how much trouble he would get in if he just bolted right now.

He doesn't want to be here alone in this room with Darren.  The only reason he puts up going to his class every morning is because he has to.  If he had it his way, he would never step foot in this classroom, or see Darren, again.

Over the summer months, instead of being heartbroken over Darren leaving, which he was, don't get him wrong, he also started to loath the man he loves.  After how he treated him after the confrontation in which he told him the truth, he wanted nothing more to do with him.  He was glad he was out of his life for good.

But even that, how Darren acted and what he said to him, didn't stop him from having these feelings for him.  He tried to stop.  Tried to tell himself it was nothing.  It was just a "stupid school-boy crush" as Darren called it.  But he knew the truth.  Knew it in the way he still came up short of breath at just the mere sight of Darren.  How his heart would stop at that one half-smile he would wear that drives him crazy.  How he couldn't hate him even though he should.

He might be seventeen, but he's pretty positive he is most definitely head over heels in love with his English teacher, and there is no changing that no matter how hard he tries.

"Chris!"  Darren says a bit more sternly.  "I told you something."

"And I heard you."  Chris keeps his head on his backpack.

"How about you listen to me."

Letting out an annoyed groan and lifting his head, Chris stands up and grabs his bag.  Walking to Darren's desk, he plops down in the chair next to it that faces the board.  Holding his backpack in his lap, arms tightly wrapped around it, he keeps his eyes trained on the dry-erase board.  Still written on it are lessons from previous classes.  Out of his peripheral vision, he can see as Darren starts to pull out stacks of paper.

"Why am I here?" he grumpily asks as he drops his head back, now staring at the ceiling.

"You know why you're here."

"No, I don't.  I have no clue why I'm here, considering I never even signed up to be your little assistant."  Chris lifts his head and stares straight into Darren's eyes.  "So, tell me why you choose me for something I didn't sign up for?"

Darren lets out a small huff of breath.  "It's the only way I could think to get you alone," he admits.

"Why'd you need to do that?"

"I need to apologize for how I acted the last time we were alone."  Darren carefully nudges the orange he sat down on his desk.  Watching as it rolls up an inch and back to him, Chris can feel a fresh wave of embarrassment take over him at Darren bringing up their last time together.  "I was rude, and out of line in some of the things I said.  I shouldn't have treated you like that after you bravely did that.  So, I'm sorry."

Chris sits there a bit dumbstruck.  Is Darren being for real right now?  There is no possible way this is happening.  He never expected to have his teacher apologizing to him; but he has to admit it feels good to have Darren saying what he said.  "Why do you think what I did was brave?" he asks as he drops his bag to the floor.

"Do you accept my apology?"

"Yeah," he nods his head; he figures it’s time to forgive and forget, "but why do you think I was brave?  I made a big fool out of myself."

"Not many people would have the courage to do what you did, Chris."  Chris finds a cool shiver running through him at the way Darren says his name; voice sounding like how soft silk skimming over bare skin feels.  "God knows I wouldn't have been brave enough."

Seeing a hint of regret quickly flash across Darren's eyes, Chris wonders what that is in relation to.  "Who didn't you tell?"  He knows there has to be someone Darren kept from telling his true feelings if he said that.

"That," Darren says, "is none of your business."

"What was his name?  Can I ask that?"  Chris sees Darren look at him with wide eyes filled with shock and surprise.  He figures Darren wants to know how he knows about his secret he keeps from people at school.  "I heard you talking, quite angrily and loudly, I might add, with who I can safely assume is your ex."

"How do you know it wasn't a girl?"

"Because I'm pretty sure she would have changed her name from Jacob."  Chris holds Darren's stare.  A few seconds later he starts to laugh when Darren lets out a loud chuckle.

"You caught me," Darren admits with a small laugh.

"Don't worry, I won't tell."

"Thanks."

"So, you gonna tell me his name?  The name of the guy you didn't tell how you felt."

"That's still none of your business," Darren informs him.

"Don't worry.  I'll get you to tell me.  I love a challenge."  Chris grins at him to show him he is being serious.

"Well, while you do that," Darren starts off, pushing a pile of papers toward him.  "Help me grade these."

"Yes, sir," Chris says in a fake serious voice, laughing when Darren shakes his head in amusement. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character death is only discussed and mentioned.

Staring at the display of his digital clock, watching the numbers change, Chris can't remember how long he's been laying here.  He tried sleeping, but like the past few days he just tossed and turned; the most he's slept is a combined hour and half during the night.

Watching as the number on the clock changes to show it is now seven-thirty, he figures he might as well get out of bed and go downstairs.

Doing that after brushing his teeth and splashing his face with cold water to fully wake him up, he finds his mom in the kitchen leaning back against the counter.  Based on the small sniffles and how she has her face covered, he knows she's crying.

It's been like that since it happened a few days ago.  He finds her alone and crying.  She tries her hardest to be strong in front of Hannah and him, but the moment she's alone he knows she lets it all go.  She lets go of the facade she puts up for them and cries.

Unlike him.  He has yet to cry.  And he doesn't know why.  Maybe it's to be strong for his mom and Hannah.  Maybe it’s because it has yet to fully hit him what happened.  He’s not sure.

"Mom," he quietly says.  He sees her lift her head and wipe away the tears; forcing a smile.

"Hey, Chris," she says with a slightly quivering voice.  "Why are you up so early on a Saturday?"

"I couldn't sleep."  He walks over and pulls down the box of Fruit Loops and grabs a bowl.

"Oh, honey," his mom says.  "We ran out of milk.  Give me a minute and I'll run out to buy some real quick."

"Don't worry about it, Mom," he tells her.  "I'll go.  I'll be back before Hannah wakes up."

"Thanks, sweetie."  Chris closes his eyes as his mom pulls him into a tight hug and kisses the top of his head.  "Thanks."

"No problem."  Letting her go, he grabs his shoes and keys and leaves.  He doesn't even care that he's still in his pajamas.

~

Standing in the middle of the aisle in front of the milk, mind completely somewhere else, he doesn't take notice of the person walking towards him.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing there, how long he’s been in a daze of regret and denial.  It seems so unreal to him that this happened to him; that something this horrible could happen to his family.  It seemed as if it would always be the four of them for years to come; but now that’s gone.  And somehow, standing there and staring at milk, it is all hitting him that that is gone.

"Chris?"  He hears his name being called by a familiar voice.

"We...We ran out of milk," he mumbles to Darren, keeping his vision straight ahead.  "My sister likes to eat Lucky Charms in the morning.  I don't want her to be more upset than she already is.  I...I told my mom I'd come buy some for her."

"Chris?"  Darren softly says again.

Closing his eyes when Darren takes his hand, he knows he can't look at him without breaking.

"Chris, look at me."

Finally turning his gaze to Darren it all crumbles.  Eyes immediately fill with tears that spill over.  It's the first time he's crying since it happened; it's the first time it feels like his heart is being ripped from his chest.  The pain is unbearable; he wants it to go away.  He wants to be numbed to what he's feeling.

"It...It hurts s-so bad," he sobs as he clutches a hand to his chest.

"It's okay," Darren comfortingly murmurs when he pulls him close.  "It's okay, Chris."

Burying his face in the curve of Darren's neck, sobs wracking his body, and crying like he'll never stop, he lets himself break.  He lets himself feel what he pushed back to ignore.  He lets himself be held and touched for the first time in days.

Clutching tight to Darren's jacket as he's tightly held, he wants to stay in Darren's arms until its better.  Even if that might take forever, he wants to stay here.

"I...I don't know w-what to do.  I just...just want the pain gone."  Chris' voice is shaken and cracks; he barely manages to talk without a sob falling from his lips every few seconds.  "I...I ca-can't breathe."

He knows he's panicking; he's getting scared after letting all the emotions in at once.  It feels like he's been hit by a tidal wave and he's being tossed and tumbled under the water desperate to breathe.

"Shh," Darren softly whispers into his ear.  "It's okay.  Just focus on me.  Listen to the sound of my breathing and do the same.  Slowly breathe in and out."

Doing as he was told, instantly flooded with the scent of the citrus that Darren smells of, he focuses on that.  The smell of oranges brings in memories of Darren and he happily talking during one of their Wednesday lunch that they’ve shared so far.  Breathing in and out, letting those memories take over, slowly becoming calmer by the minute, he loosens his tight hold of Darren's shirt.

He kind of expected to lose it at some time.  He just never thought it would happen at seven in the morning in the dairy aisle of the store as his English teacher holds him.

He doesn't know how long they stand there, and he doesn't care.  The comfort of Darren's embrace is better than anything he's felt in days.

But knowing his mom will start to worry, and Hannah might be up, he knows he has to let go.

"I have to go.  My mom will be worried."  Reluctantly pulling away from Darren, instantly missing his warmth, Chris runs his hands over his face.  Opening the glass door and grabbing a carton of milk, he looks back to Darren and forces a smile.  "Bye, Mr. Criss."

"Chris."  Darren takes Chris' wrist and stops him from walking away.  "I'm here.  If you ever need anything.  If you need to talk to somebody.  I'm here."

"Okay."  Sniffling and feeling a tear roll down his cheek, he weakly smiles and walks away.

Being held by Darren made it less painful, but he still feels as if the pain will never leave.

~

Walking into school Monday morning and going to his locker, arms immediately wrap around him and pull him into a tight, comforting embrace.

"You didn't have to come," Linden quietly tells him.

"I know."  Chris lets himself be held a bit longer before pulling away.  "But I needed to get out of the house."

"How's your mom?"  Linden takes his hand and starts to walk with him to their class.

"She's strong around everybody.  But I hear her cry when she's alone."

Before Linden has a chance to say anything, they walk into Darren's classroom.  Weakly smiling at Darren, he walks to his desk in the back.  Dropping his bag on the desk and sitting down, he crosses his arms over his bag and lays his head down.

During class, he barely pays attention.  Darren doesn't tell him anything about sitting there and doing absolutely nothing.  He tries sleeping, but finds he can't just like all previous nights.

When the bell rings, he makes sure to take his time leaving.  Needing to talk to Darren, he tells Linden bye and walks to his desk.

"Hey, Mr. Criss," Chris mumbles as he stops in front of Darren.

"Chris, how are you doing?"  Darren sincerely asks.

"A bit better.  It still hurts like hell."

"I'm so sorr-"

"Please, don't apologize," Chris cuts him off.  "I've heard enough people apologize already.  I just...I just need..."

"What do you need?"

How does he say he needs to be held by Darren like in the store aisle?  How does he say that being in Darren's arms has brought him the most comfort in these past horrible days?  How does he say that he simply needs Darren?  How does he go about asking for that without being rejected?  Because he knows Darren will tell him no; tell him he can't because they are in school, and to do that would go against school policy.

And being rejected right now is something he doesn't need.

So, he decides to just talk about something else.

"I just need to know it's going to be okay?"

"It will be.  Eventually," Darren tells him.  "Little by little it'll get easier.  Then one day you'll wake up and it won't hurt as bad; you'll be able to go on living without wanting to cry all the time."

"Thanks."  Chris smiles and wipes away the tear that rolls down his cheek.  "How long did it take you?"

"It's different for everybody, Chris," Darren says.

"Who was it?"

"My grandma.  I was twenty-two when she passed.  We were really close."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize.  Like you, I heard it enough from people.  But thanks anyways."

"I should go."  Chris wraps his fingers around the strap of his bag and grips tight.  "Also, I wanted to tell you that I won't be here tomorrow.  So, whatever assig-"

Darren holds up his hand to stop him. "Don't worry about it.  Can I ask why you won't be here?"

"It's the funeral.  Then I have to endure more apologies, afterwards, at home."  Chris feels a warmth in his chest when Darren comfortingly smiles at him and says he hopes he is okay.  It's then he, somehow, knows it will be all okay one day.

~

Rain slowly drizzles down around him and the other people here as they lower the casket into the ground.  His clothes are damp and he doesn't care.  Clutched tightly in his hands is a bouquet of flowers.  The tissue paper they are wrapped in is wet and torn.  Dropping them on the mound of dirt, he walks away.

Climbing into his car and driving home, tired and numb, he huffs when all the cars of people already there come into view.

It's not that he hates them, or that he's mad.  He just does not want to have to deal with the somber mood and sad looks.  For almost a week it's been that when people visited.  And he's had enough.

Sitting on the edge of his bed in his room an hour and a half later after going inside, repeatedly hitting the play button on the screen of his phone to hear the last voicemail his dad left him, Chris hears his bedroom door open.  "Mom," he whispers with a broken voice.  "I told you I wanted to be alone."

Listening to the heavy footfalls that come towards him, he looks up when someone sits next to him.  Seeing Darren there in a simple black suit, a single white rose in his hand, Chris feels a bit of the darkness that's been surrounding him be pushed out by bright light.

"Sorry, I'm not your mom.  I didn't know."  Darren lifts his hand and brushes a few wet strands of Chris' hair back from his face.  "I can go if you want."

"No.  Stay here.  It's okay."  Chris feels a warmth and an ache both form in his chest at having Darren here.  "What are you doing here?"

"I asked Principal Keirnan if I could leave to come here.  I knew you would need somebody."

"Thank you."  Squeezing Darren's hand when he takes his, Chris never wants to let go.  The touch of Darren's hand keeps him anchored and makes him feel safe.

"Is there anything I can do?"  Chris nods his head at knowing exactly what Darren can do.  "What?"

"I need you to hold me."

"Chris, I don't thi-"

"Please."  Wrapping an arm around Darren's neck and hugging him close, Chris already feels a bit better.  "I'm so tired, Darren.  I'm so tired.  I can't sleep, and...Please, Darren, hold me until I fall asleep."

Fresh tears spring to his eyes when he feels Darren pull away.  Dropping his head when he stands up off the bed, Chris doesn't blame him for wanting to leave.  He would probably react the same way if he had someone he shouldn't be that close to on him.

Lying on his bed and bringing his knees to his chest, Chris hears the door softly close.  Closing his eyes and wishing it was different, he wonders how much more pain he can deal with.

Breathing when Darren lies down behind him and pulls him close, feeling the pain ebb, he turns around to face him.  "Thank you," he softly mumbles.

"Rest, Chris," Darren says as he soothingly strokes his thumb over Chris' cheek, wiping away a tear.  "I'll hold you."

Chris doesn't care that Darren shouldn't be here.  He doesn't care that they could potentially get in big trouble if caught.  He doesn't care about any of that.  All he cares about is being held.  Burying his face in the curve of Darren's neck, breathing in the scent of citrus on his skin, he tentatively wraps his arm around Darren's side and grabs his shoulder.

“You didn’t have to do this,” he mumbles against Darren’s suit jacket that is slightly damp from the rain.

“I know.  But I can see the tiredness in your eyes.  If this is what it takes for you to get some sleep, I’ll willingly do it.”

Being held by Darren, breathing in the smell of oranges, it doesn’t take long for Chris to fall asleep.

When he wakes up several hours later still feeling tired, he grabs the pillow Darren used.  Burying his nose in the pillow, the smell of Darren strong, he drifts back to sleep clutching the pillow in his arms.

~

He goes back to school the next day.  Going through the motions of walking to class and doing work keep him preoccupied enough to help him forget for a few hours.

At lunch, he walks to Darren's classroom.  Finding him sitting at his desk with a cup of coffee and an orange, going over work, he lightly wraps on the door frame.

"Hey, Chris."  Darren smiles and stands up.

"Need help?"  Chris walks into the room and pulls a chair up to the side of Darren's desk.

"You don't have to.  I didn't remind you because I thought you wouldn't want to."

"I know," Chris says.  "But I need...normalcy.  I need to do things that make me forget for a bit."

"Alright."  Darren sits back down and slides over a stack of ungraded quizzes.  "However many you can," he tells Chris.

"Thanks."  Grabbing a small pile, Chris goes about grading and forgetting for several minutes.

Its twenty minutes later when Darren asks, "Have you eaten?  You didn't bring your lunch."

"I'm not very hungry."  It's the truth.  The past few days, he hasn't had much of an appetite.  He’s barely eaten much of anything for several days.

"When's the last time you ate, Chris?"

"Um...yesterday afternoon," Chris softly whispers.

"I know you don't have much of an appetite right now," Darren says as he starts to peel the orange he has.  "I was the same.  But you have to eat, Chris.  It doesn't help if you don't eat.  Sorry, it's all I have on hand," Darren says as he holds out the orange.

"Okay."  Taking the half of the orange Darren offers him, Chris pulls off a segment and eats it.  "Thank you," he says after finishing the orange.

"For what?"  Darren asks slightly confused.

"For being there right now.  For helping me through this hard time."

"I know how hard it is," Darren softly tells him.  "It's good to have someone to talk to and be there."

"Do...Would it be okay if I came in here during lunch?"  Chris tentatively asks.  "It's...It's easier here."

"Yes.  But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"Bring a lunch.  A big one."  Darren smiles.

Chris grins as he agrees and nods his head.

~

The next day, a few food items in hand, Chris walks to Darren's room.  Letting himself in when he finds it empty, he sets his food down and pulls up the chair next to the desk.  Sitting down and eating a grape, he smiles when he sees Darren walk into the room.

"Good to see you stick to your promise."  Darren sets his usual cup of coffee and orange down on his desk as he takes a seat.

"Perhaps I should force you to actually eat something."  Chris arches an eyebrow at Darren's choice of food.  "I never see you eat actual food."

"This is actual food," Darren says as he holds up his orange.

"I meant something that would fill you up."

"I'm fine with my orange."  Darren smiles as he starts to peel the orange.

The smell of the orange assaults Chris' senses and has him remembering the way Darren smelled when he held him.  The strong, fresh, citrusy smell that covered Darren and had him wanting to stay in that moment forever; that brings comfort and warmth attached to it.

Shaking his head and coming out of thoughts of Darren holding him while in bed, Chris unwraps his sandwich.  Grabbing half a slice, he holds it out for Darren.  "Here," he says.  "Food to fill you up a bit."

"No."  Darren shakes his head, pushing Chris' hand away.  "I want to see you eat more than half a sandwich.  I told you, I'm fine with my orange."

~

"I have something for you."  Chris says it the moment Darren walks into his room holding his usual lunch of a coffee and orange.  Picking up his bag from the floor and opening the flap, Chris grabs the brown paper bag inside.  Setting it down on the desk next to Darren, he grins.  "Enjoy."

"What is it?"  Darren takes the bag as he asks, unfolding the folded over top.  Chris lets out a small laugh when Darren looks at what's inside and chuckles.  "Thanks," he tells him as he pulls out the Lunchable.

"You're welcome.  Considering the circumstances, I had to go with something that wouldn't go bad."

"I see you got the one with chocolate chip cookies," Darren points out as he starts to peel the plastic back.  "Would you like one?"

Chris shakes his head as Darren holds out the small plastic container with the food.  "I have my own."  He pulls out a plastic sandwich bag from his school bag.  "Made them yesterday."

"How come you get the homemade and I'm stuck with the processed stuff?"  Darren teases as he grabs a cracker from his Lunchable.

"Here."  Chris grabs one of his cookies and holds it out for Darren, who takes it.  "Tell me if you like it."

"You didn't have to give me one.  I was just joking."

"I know."  Chris watches as Darren takes a bite and lets out a soft moan (which makes him blush and lose all coherent thought for a few seconds) and smiles when Darren gives him a thumbs up.

"It's delicious," Darren says.

"Thanks," Chris proudly replies with a smile.

It’s then that he realizes he’s genuinely smiled because he’s happy for the first time since before it happened.  Being here with Darren, talking and eating, is making him happy, and leaves him feeling less sorrowful.

~

"Do you think dogs actually go to heaven?"

"What?"  Darren asks as he turns his attention away from the tests he was grading.

"Last night, I was watching _All Dogs Go To Heaven_ with my sister, and it had me wondering."

"If dogs go to heaven?"

"Yeah, that, and if there is a heaven just for dogs?"

"I'm sure there is."

"I had a dog when I was younger that my dad accidentally ran over when he was backing out of the driveway.  I was so mad at him that I didn't speak to him for a week."  Chris stops talking and thinks about his dad.  A pain he wishes he could forget starts all over again in his chest.

"Chris?"

Lifting his head when Darren says his name, a small shiver runs through him when Darren reaches over and wipes away the tear that falls with his thumb.

"If there is a heaven for dogs, then there has to be a heaven, right?"  Chris wipes away the other tear that falls.  Lifting his legs and putting his knees to his chest, feet on the edge of the chair, arms wrapped around his legs, he lays his head on his knees.  "I just want to...believe he's somewhere peaceful."

"After my grandmother died I refused to believe she was anywhere else.  As long as you believe he's somewhere peaceful, whether or not that place exists, then he is."

"Thanks."  Chris weakly smiles.

"You're welcome."

"Darren?"

Chris notices Darren immediately pull back from him--even though he was barely leaning over to him.  He sees him turn his attention to the person at the door; based on the voice, he guesses it to be Mrs. Hamilton.

"Mrs. Hamilton," Darren says sounding caught off guard with a shaky voice.  "How may I help you?"

"The copy machine is stuck, and you helped me last time.  I was wondering if it wouldn't be such an inconvenience if you could fix it."  Mrs. Hamilton asks with her soft, low voice.

Keeping his head resting on his knees and turned to Darren, Chris doesn't care or want to move.  At the moment, he doesn't care that his History teacher just caught Darren and he considering they weren't doing anything wrong.

He smiles at Darren, noticing the small upturn of Darren's lips at the corner of his mouth.

"I wouldn't mind."  Chris watches as Darren stands up.

"Thank you so much!"

Chris tries to stay as long as possible after leaves the room, but he ends up having to leave.  He gets a bit upset at not being able to see Darren again before the school day ends.  But he's happy at knowing there's always tomorrow.

~

"Where do you eat lunch now?"  Linden asks him a few mornings later as they stand in front of their lockers.  She has her arms wrapped around her text book and a notebook.  "I'm just curious, by the way.  One day you're there, and the next you're suddenly gone.  I just want to know where you go, and why you left."

Knowing he doesn't need to lie, and doesn't want to, Chris figures it's easiest to tell her what she wants to know.  "I eat with Mr. Criss."  The instant he says it, he sees Linden's eyes go wide and an excited grin spread across her face.  "Don't get excited, Lin.  It's nothing.  We just eat and talk."

"What kind of talk are we talking about?"  Linden wiggles her eyebrows and laughs.

“Talking talking,” Chris tells her as he closes his locker.  “We just talk about stuff; nothing important or life changing.”

“Alright,” Linden says as she loops her arm through Chris’, accepting his answer.  “But you know you can talk to me if you ever need to.  I know it’s been difficult for you these past two weeks; just know I’m here.  If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Lin.”

~

It's the seventh time he is spending his lunch in Darren's room.  Eating a bag of Cheetos, holding out the bag to Darren who takes a couple, he lifts his legs and sits cross-legged on the chair.

"Why did you want to be a teacher?" he asks Darren as he opens the bottle of water he has.

"Would you believe me if I told I didn't want to?"

"No."  Chris laughs.  "You're too good at your job.  What happened?"

"Thanks.  And senior year of high school happened," Darren answers.

"Elaborate," Chris says.

"I was asked to help tutor a kid in one of my classes.  It was while I was doing that, seeing as I could help another person understand something they didn't before, I realized I really enjoyed what I was doing."

"What did you want to do before?"

"I was leaning towards medicine of some sorts."

"So, there could have been a chance of you being my doctor instead of my teacher?"

"Yes."  Darren chuckles as he nods his head.  "I would be giving you prescriptions instead of homework."

"Funny how life works," Chris comments, grabbing another Cheeto.

"Yeah.  Funny."  Darren nods his head.  “But there would have been a problem to keep me from going into medicine if I wanted to.  So, it’s a good thing I wanted to be a teacher in the end.”

“What thing?”  Chris curiously asks.

“I’m not telling you.  It’s embarrassing.”

“How embarrassing?”

“Very,” Darren replies with a small chuckle.

~

Lunch in hand, happy and eager to see Darren, he heads for his classroom.  When he reaches it, he's surprised to find his door closed.  Turning the knob, he's even more surprised at finding the door locked.  Peering into the small window and seeing the lights off and room empty, he doesn't understand what's going on.

Stepping to the side and sliding down against the wall, not wanting to go back to the cafeteria, he eats and waits for Darren.  As he finishes his apple, he sees him walking down the hall looking a bit upset.

"Hey," he happily greets him when he's close as he stands up.  "Where were you?  I've been waiting out here all lunch."

"I need to speak with you, Chris."  Darren unlocks his door and opens it.

Going inside the too quiet room, light flooding the room when Darren flips the switch, Chris throws away the last of his food.  Standing there as Darren walks over to his desk, he clutches the strap of his bag.  "So," he worriedly says, "what did you need to talk to me about?"

"You can't come here for lunch anymore."

The small smile Chris had completely falls away.  "Why?"

"Principal Kiernan pulled me into his office.  Apparently, someone informed him of our lunch time spent together.  He warned me and told me to stop immediately."

"We...We're not even doing anything wrong!"  Chris complains, holding back from yelling.  But that doesn't stop anger from running through him.  "We just talk and eat."

"I know, Chris.  But even that is too much for us to be doing."  Darren lets out a small sigh.  It's then that Chris notices how tense he is; he can see the anger in his eyes, and that confuses him.  Chris doesn't understand why Darren should be angry over this; then he realizes he must be angry over getting in trouble.  "Chris, you're my student.  I'm your teacher.  We can't blur the lines more than they already have."

"I just don't understand."  Chris takes a step back from Darren.  "I came here because it was easier; I could talk to someone who knew what I was going through.  And now...Now you're pushing me away because it's the proper thing?  I thought you understood how much I needed someone to be there?"

"I do.  I do, Chris," Darren says, taking a step to closer to Chris.  "I just can't be that person anymore.  I can't do that without getting in trouble."

"We were just talking," Chris murmurs, not getting what's so wrong about that.  Yeah, he can see how two people having lunch together each day might be taken wrong.  But he and Darren were doing nothing against the rules.  "Did you tell him that?  Did you tell him you were helping me?"

"Yes."  Darren nods his head.  "But he told me that wasn't my job.  I'm your teacher and nothing more."

Fighting back tears, Chris nods his head in understanding.

"Chris?"  Darren says to get his attention.

"Yeah?" he softly replies.

"You still have Linden."

"She doesn't understand like you."  A single tear rolls down Chris' cheek; he brings a hand up and wipes it away.  He hates that this is getting to him so much, that he’s crying.  "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble.  I'll be here during lunch on Wednesday.  Is that still okay?"

"Yeah."  Darren takes another step to Chris.  "I'm sorry, Chris.  I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay.  Don't apologize.  I understand."  Smiling and walking out of the room, Chris feels a small dread wash over him.  "Bye, Mr. Criss.  I'll see you tomorrow."

He really loved looking forward to spending the lunch time he had with Darren.  Now, though, that feeling of calm and happiness washing over him when he was with Darren during that time will be mainly gone. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I link in the story to the masks that they wear.

Sitting in the chair next to Darren's desk the following Wednesday during lunch, Chris grades papers as Darren taps his pen on his desk.

"Are you okay, Chris?"  Darren suddenly asks as he stops the tapping of his pen.  "It's just...since I got in trouble for the whole lunch thing last week you've barely said two words in class; and to me."

"I'm fine."  Chris looks up and forces a quick, small smile.  Going back to grading papers, aimlessly marking wrong answers, he wants to get past it.

"It's okay to be mad at me."

Chris lets out a soft huff of breath.  "I'm not mad.  I just miss talking to you," he easily admits even though he kind of knows he shouldn't have said that.

"You can talk to me right now," Darren says.  "No one has to be the wiser to what goes on during our Wednesday lunches together."

"You're okay with that?"

"It's just talking.  We won't be doing anything wrong."

"Okay."  Letting out a relieved breath, Chris suddenly feels much better than he did a few short minutes ago.  "That's great."

"So," Darren chuckles as he finishes grading a paper, "what do you want to discuss?"

"Anything?"

"Anything," Darren repeats.

"Charles?"  Chris says with a small smile.

"What?"  Darren chuckles, confused at the name mention.

"The name of the guy you never told how you felt.  Was it Charles?"  Chris clears up.  He hears Darren drop his head and sigh, shaking his head; but he also notices the corner of his mouth turn up into a smile.  "You said anything."

"I did, didn't I?"  Darren rhetorically asks.  "And, no, it wasn't Charles."

"Matt or Matthew?"

"No."

"Franklin?"  Chris starts grading a new paper.

"Like the cartoon turtle?"  Darren asks with a small laugh.

"Yes," Chris nods his head, twirling his pen between his fingers, "like the turtle.  I used to watch that when I was younger."

"I've seen some episodes," Darren admits; Chris arches an eyebrow at him in surprise.  "I get bored.  And that damn turtle is entertaining sometimes."

"Yeah, he is."  Chris softly chuckles.  "Catchy theme song."

"Very catchy."

"Hey, it's Franklin," Chris starts to sing.

"Please, don't sing that song," Darren begs.  "It'll be stuck in my head all day."

“Coming over to play.  Growing a little every day.”

"Please."

"Okay," Chris laughs.  "I'm stopping."

"Thank you.  And, no," Darren tells him, "his name wasn't Franklin."

"I'll get it.  Trust me."

"Well, while you do that go back to grading papers."

"Alright."

For a few minutes everything goes back to normal.  Chris hears the sound of the clock ticking on the wall and Darren quietly humming when the first drop of blood falls and hits the paper on top of the stack in his lap.  Seeing the blood hit the paper, he reaches up and presses his finger to his nose.  Feeling warm liquid slowly starting to trickle out of his nose, he groans.

Setting the stack of papers on the desk, he stands up and tips his head back.  "I'll be back in a second," he tells Darren as he starts to leave.

"Oh, shit!  Are you okay?"  Darren pushes his chair back and quickly stands up and walks over to Chris.

"Yeah.  Yeah, I'm fine."  Chris can feel as blood starts to slide down the side of his cheek.  "It's just the weather.  It sometimes happens when the weather changes suddenly.  It'll stop soon.  And I heard that curse word."

"Come on, let's go to the bathroom.  And it was said in a moment of complete surprise."

Surprised when Darren takes his hand, Chris smiles as he follows him to the restroom.

"Yeah, right.  Surprise."  Chris can feel as warm blood starts to slide down his hand and arm.  "You're a shitty liar."

"I'm gonna pretend I just didn't hear that, if you didn't hear me," Darren says.

"Deal."

Going in and hearing the door close, he leans back against one of the sinks.  Hearing Darren pull a few sheets of paper towels from the dispenser, Chris takes them when he comes back.  Putting them to his nose, he drops his head and looks at Darren who stands close to him.

"Thanks," he graciously tells him.  "You didn't have to come with me.  I would have been fine on my own."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay.  Shouldn't you sit down?  You might get dizzy."

"I'm okay.  I know I'll be fine."  Chris notices Darren get a bit uneasy for a second.  "What's wrong?" he asks as he pulls the soaked paper towel away and presses a clean one to his nose.

"I...I just have a small problem with blood," Darren admits.  "I get squeamish and lightheaded, and sometimes sick."

"Are you serious?"  Chris chuckles.  "You're one of those people?"

"It's not funny," Darren tries to sternly say even though he starts to smile.

"Oh, my God!"  Darren groans as the realization hits Chris.  He can't hold back the laughter that falls from his lips.  "That's why you knew you wouldn't be able to go into medicine?"

"Yes.  And I told you it was embarrassing," Darren murmurs; Chris laughs again when he notices him go a bit uneasy when he looks at blood soaked paper towel.

"Good thing you didn't turn out to be that doctor," Chris teases.

"Good thing," Darren agrees.

"How about Andrew?" he asks to distract Darren.

Darren just laughs and shakes his head out of amusement.

Pulling the paper towel away when the bleeding stops, Chris cleans his face and tosses the soaked paper towels in the trash.  "We should go back.  It's stopped."

"Hold on."

Stopping before he can walk away, hearing the faucet turn on behind him, Chris sees as Darren brings a wet paper towel up to his face.  Tensing some when Darren carefully wraps his fingers around his neck, he almost immediately relaxes when he realizes he's holding him and swipes the wet cloth over his cheek and along his neck.

"You have dried blood on your face," Darren softly tells him as he stares into his eyes.

"Th-Thanks."  Heart hammering in his chest at having Darren so close, close enough to smell the scent of citrus that lingers on him, Chris wishes he could close what little space is between them and kiss Darren.  Noticing Darren dart his eyes to his lips when he runs his tongue over the bottom one, he tries to convince himself Darren isn't thinking the same thing.

The sound of the bell ringing has Darren quickly pulling away from him.  Upset when the touch of his hand is gone from his skin, Chris doesn't know what to say to just what happened.

"Um...Thanks for helping me," Darren says before Chris can say anything.  It's the same thing he always tells him after their lunch together ends.  "You should finish cleaning up.  Just come get your stuff and I'll write you a pass."

"Okay."  Standing there and watching Darren leave the restroom faster than a horse at a starting gate, Chris tries to calm his heart and even his breathing.

Turning to take a look at himself in the mirror, seeing his face is clean, he notices the blush staining his cheeks.

Looking down at his hands, he washes away the specks of blood on his skin.  Cupping his hands under the running water, splashing his face to cool down, he tries his best not to think of Darren's hands on him; he tries not to think about what they could do to him.

Grabbing a paper towel and drying his face, Chris can't hold back the smile at the images those thoughts create.

Walking back into Darren's classroom and gathering his stuff, he avoids looking at him out of fear of blushing over what happened.

It was nothing big; just Darren gently touching him and being so close.  But it seemed to tilt Chris' world in the best way imaginable.

"Here you go."  Darren smiles as he holds out a slip of paper to him.

"Thanks."  Chris takes the paper and finally looks up to Darren.  Seeing a light in his eyes he's never seen before as he stares back at him, Chris starts to wonder how much has just changed for Darren.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Criss."  Turning to walk out, getting out of the way of students coming into class, he steps out into the hallway.  Taking several steps down the hall, he stops and turns at Darren calling his name.  "Yeah?"

"No, it's not Andrew."  Is all Darren says before smiling and turning around and walking back to his classroom.

Chris smiles and continues to head to his class, all his thoughts on Darren.

~

Walking up to Darren before class the next day, setting a paper bag down in front of him.  "I made these for you."  He pushes the bag forward.  "You enjoyed them so much last time, I thought I'd make more for you."

Darren smiles as he takes the bag and starts to open it.  "Let's see what we have here."  Watching him take a look in the bag, Chris hears him softly moan.  "You know, traditionally kids give apples to their teachers."

"Well, this kid bakes," Chris says with a small chuckle as he watches Darren reach in the bag and pull out a cookie.  "And apples are boring."

"Compared to your cookies," Darren says around a mouthful of cookie, "they are extremely boring.  Thanks for these, by the way.  You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."  Chris shrugs his shoulders like it was nothing.  "And, Victor?"

"No," Darren replies with a laugh.  "Not Victor."

Hearing the bell ring, and seeing students starting to walk into class, Chris smiles at Darren and walks back to his desk.  Seeing Darren finish the cookie he was eating, Chris feels a bit of warmth bloom in his chest.

"Hey, Chris, you're drooling.  In case you're wondering," Linden teases him as she sits at her desk.

"Shut up, Lin."  Chris blushes and turns his gaze to Linden, who's biting her lower lip and grinning.  "You do the same with Matthew."

"I do," Linden proudly admits like it's a great accomplishment.

"Alright, class," Darren says as he closes the paper bag of cookies and stands up.  "Quiet down."

At the end of class, waiting for everybody to leave, Chris goes up to Darren, who is cleaning the dry-erase board.  "Hey," he quietly says to get his attention.

"Hey, Chris."  Darren grins as he turns to face him.  "Do you need something?"

"Tucker?"

For a split-second, Chris sees confusion in Darren's eyes before it clicks.  "No," he finally answers with a small smile as he shakes his head.  "Go before you're late for your next class."

"Bye, Mr. Criss," Chris says as he walks away.

It’s strange.  But simply sitting and talking with Darren makes him happier.  It makes it less painful after everything that happened in the last few weeks.

~

"...just don't understand why I have to come with you while you ogle Matthew?  Can't you do it alone?"  Chris hip checks his door, hearing it close, and shoves his keys in his pocket.

Walking over to Linden as she waits for him after climbing out of his car, he wraps an arm around her waist and holds her.

"I could do it alone," Linden goes about replying to Chris' question.  "But this way it's less weird."

"Well, at least you acknowledge that it's weird."

"Oh, Mr. I'm-in-love-with-my-English-teacher," Linden teases.  "Look at the pot calling the kettle black."

"Shut up, Kettle."  Chris playfully pushes at Linden.

"Abuse," Linden jokingly accuses, flicking her finger on Chris' shoulder.

"Ow!" he complains as he rubs the spot she hit.  "Why wou-Oh, my God, Lin!  He's here."

"Who?"  Linden looks around for who Chris is talking about and spots him.  "Oh."

Darren sits in a corner looking completely lost in his work.  Focused on the papers in front of him, with glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, Chris smiles at how cute he looks.  "He's so cute," he whispers, voicing his thoughts, eyes never leaving Darren now that he's seen him.

"You should go talk to him," Linden tells him.

"Should I?"  Chris questions, unsure if that's a smart idea.

"Yeah."

"I don't know."  He starts to doubt going over.  "Maybe he wants to be alone."

"Chris, I know you want to go over there," Linden says.  "If I have to, I will drag you over there like you want."

"Fine!" he quietly exclaims, knowing full well Linden will follow through with her threat.  "I'm going.  I'm going."  Looking over to Darren sitting at the booth intently focused on the papers in front of him, Chris feels his heart skip a beat at the mere sight of him.  He also feels as nerves overtake him.

"You're still standing here," Linden says as she gently nudges him forward.

"Go stalk Matthew!" he playfully teases.

"Ouch!"  Linden pretends to be hurt as she holds her hand over her heart and makes a shocked face. "From my best friend.  I thought I knew you."

"What the hell do I say, Lin?"

"I think hi is a good place to start," she cheekily replies.  "But, don't worry.  You'll be fine.  Oh, look, there's Matthew."

Looking to find Linden leaving him and walking up to the counter, Chris quietly laughs as she bravely walks up to where Matthew is.  Deciding he should just go over, he walks over to where Darren currently sits.  He's relieved when he never looks up from his papers, because he knows if he did he would just turn around and walk away.

"Hi," he tentatively says when he stops at the table Darren sits at.

Darren looks up at him, and a big smile spreads across his face.  "Hey, Chris.  Didn't expect to see any of my students tonight."

Chris lets the student comment fall to the wayside.  "I wasn't planning on coming here," he replies.  "But Linden begged me to come."

Darren must notice him shuffling his feet because he tells him, "You can sit down if you like."  He moves some papers on the table in front of where Chris sits.  "Why did she beg you?"

"She wants to lustfully stare at Matthew."

"Matthew?"  Darren says a bit confused.

"Matthew Avery.  You know, quarterback of the football team, Mr. Popular, cute, more than likely going to be Prom King."  Chris notices Darren's smile falter the slightest when he mentions Matthew being cute.  "Yeah, he works here."

"He does?"

"He flips burgers.  Who do you think made your burger, Spongebob?"  Chris chuckles, smiling when Darren laughs; he looks over to find Linden actually talking with Matthew.  "Guess he's on his break."

"I shouldn't worry about any nose bleeds while you're here?"

"No."  Chris takes a fry when Darren pushes his toward him in offering.  "You're safe from fainting."

"I never said anything about fainting."

Smiling, Chris looks at all the papers currently sitting on the table in front of him.  Seeing its assignments and whatnot that he's grading, he pulls a stack to him.  "Want me to help you?" he asks.

"You don't have to."

"I don't mind."  Chris takes one of the red pens sitting on the table.

"How have you been lately?"  Darren asks as he takes a drink of his coke.

"It's easier.  It still hurts, though."  Putting aside the quiz he finished grading, he starts on a new one.  "It's getting easier with each new day."

"That's good to hear."

Chris looks to Darren and smiles.  "Did you have someone there for you like you are for me?"

"My boyfriend at the time.  He was very supportive."

At the mention of an old boyfriend, Chris feels a pang of jealousy he shouldn’t.  He knows it’s stupid to not like a guy he never knew.  But he hates that he had a chance with Darren when he never will.  "What was his name?" he decides to ask.

"Why do you need to know that?"  Darren chuckles as he holds his pen between his two forefingers.

"Just wondering who was lucky enough to date you."  It only takes a second for it to register with Chris what he said.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have said that.  It was inappropriate.  That was wrong of me to say."

"It's fine," Darren assures him with a small laugh as he drops his pen to the tabletop.  "And his name was Damien."

"Damien makes me think of that evil child from that movie," Chris mumbles.  "What happened between you two?  If you don't mind me asking."

"We just grew apart.  By the time he was accepting a job offer in Chicago we had nothing left.  We both knew it would be easier to end it than try to keep a dead relationship alive over long distance."

"So, you don't do long distance?"

"No."  Darren shakes his head and picks up his pen again.  "I'd rather just break-up than try that.  It's more than likely going to end bad, anyways."

"Ever the optimistic," Chris teases.  "But I get it."  He minutely nods his head and shrugs his shoulders.  "I was also wondering something else."

"What?"

"Ryan?"

"No," Darren answers without having to ask Chris to further explain.

"Drew?" he asks as they both go back to grading assignments.

"No."

"Justin?"

"No."

"Ethan?"

"Hey, Chris," Linden says when she comes up to the table smiling wide.  "Hey, Mr. Criss.  Who's Ethan?"

"Hello, Linden," Darren replies.

"It's nobody.  It's nothing, Lin," Chris tells her.

"Alright.  You ready to go?"  Linden asks him.

"Yeah."  Capping the pen and standing up, Chris looks to Darren as he stares up at him.  "Bye, Da-...Mr. Criss."

"Bye, Chris," Darren says as he smiles and waves.  "See you guys Monday."

"Alright."

Climbing back into his car a few moments later, Linden sitting in the passenger seat, Chris can't fight the big, goofy smile on his face.

"You look like you just discovered masturbation, and how awesome it is."

"Oh, my God, Lin!"  Chris exclaims as he drops his head to the steering wheel, a fresh wave of embarrassment hitting him.  "I can't believe you just said that."

"What?"  Linden says innocently.  "You just look like you didn't realize how amazing a little touch of your hand can be."

"Are you seriously comparing Darren, our English teacher, to masturbation at the moment?"

"And if I am?"  Linden cheekily replies, smirking.  "I'm not the one all flushed and looking worked over."

"I'm not flushed."  Chris hastily pulls down his visor, looking into the mirror, and instantly sees the red staining his cheeks.  "Oh, God!  I'm flushed.  What if he saw?!  What if he knows I still have feelings for him?!"  Chris starts to panic and drops his head in his hands.  Just when Darren and he were starting to be on good terms again.

"Chris!  Chris!"  Linden reaches over and pulls his hands away, making him look at her.  "It's okay."

"No, it's not.  I'm still in love with him, and I'm positive he knows."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"It's embarrassing," Chris mumbles.

"No, it's not."

"How so?"

"You didn't see what I saw," Linden replies.

"What did you see?"

"He was flushed too."

~

Chris tries not to think about what Linden told him.  He considers maybe she was just seeing things; maybe it was nothing.  Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking too much into it when it could mean nothing.  That’s what he tries to do.  But sitting so close to him on Wednesday, it’s all he can think about.

It’s all that’s on his mind.  He tries to focus on what Darren gave him to grade, but he keeps looking at Darren through the corner of his eyes and drifting off.  He starts to get wild ideas of maybe Darren feeling something for him in return.  He gets so distracted by it all, he doesn’t hear what Darren asks him.

“I’m sorry.  What?” he mumbles.

"I asked if you are going to the dance Friday?"  Darren asks him as he sits at his usual spot and arranges papers by class, catching him staring.

"God, no," Chris replies, a bit embarrassed at being caught staring.  "But Linden keeps trying to talk me into it.  Too bad her efforts are fruitless."

"How did you two become friends?  If you don't mind me asking."  Darren leans back in his chair, twiddling his pen between his fingers.  "I just don't understand..."

"How someone like her and someone like me could be friends?"  Chris finishes for him, seeing Darren's eyes instantly fill with regret.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean it like that."  Darren continues to profusely apologize after that.

"It's okay."  Chris laughs at his unease.  "It was in third grade.  We were all outside for recess.  I was on a swing minding my own business, because, even then, I knew I was different.  Anyways, John came up to me and-"

"Wait.  John who?"  Darren asks.

"Oh, John Coleman, he's in the class I have with you," Chris clarifies for him.

"Oh.  Okay."

"Anyways, he came up and started mocking and making fun of me.  He was poking me and saying rude things.  I guess Linden heard and came over.  And without a seconds thought she punched him."

"Wait!"  Darren says in shock.  "Linden punched John Coleman?  She's tiny compared to him."

"She was then, too.  It didn't stop him from toppling to the ground and crying like a little baby."  Chris laughs as he recalls that memory.  "We became inseparable after that.  Ended up getting in trouble together after that.  A teacher saw what happened."

"Why'd you get in trouble, too?  The teacher must have seen Linden punch him?"

"She did.  But Linden told me to kick him for being mean to me.  Said he deserved it.  I did, and it felt great.  She took my hand and we walked away.  We've kind of had each other's backs after that."

"So, now she's trying to talk you into going to the dance with her?"  Darren chuckles.

"Yeah."  Chris nods his head.  "She keeps telling me about the outfit she has, and how she has the perfect mask to go along with occasion.  She says she has one for me, too.  But that's not for me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"What are you going to do, then?"

"Stay home and eat the Halloween candy that my mom bought for me to pass out," Chris says.  “And then pass out in front of the television watching that Charlie Brown movie my sister loves that they always show this time of year.”

Darren chuckles.  “That sounds…”

“Boring?”  Chris finishes for him, laughing.

“Fun.  I was going to say fun,” Darren says.

“Oh.  Well, of course it’s going to be fun.  It’s me,” Chris jokes.

“Don’t have too much fun.  Don’t want you to accidentally go into a sugar coma,” Darren tells him.

“I’ll try not,” Chris laughs, blushing the slightest as Darren smiles at him.

~

"I don't understand why you are dragging me to this excuse for a social gathering."  Chris looks at himself in the rear view mirror as he slips his eye [mask](http://www.partyoasis.com/batmask.html) on.  The laser cut metal is cold against his skin, but rest perfectly on his face.  The black mask is designed to look like a bat, and if Chris is being honest, it's totally cool.

"Because it'll be fun," Linden counter-replies, slipping on her mask.

Going to the school's annual Halloween masquerade dance was something he was against.  He'd rather be at home marathoning Halloweentown than be here.  But Linden kept going on and on about how it was the last one they could attend.  That they should be social for several hours even though they didn't much care for any of their fellow classmates.  Besides each other, of course.

She, finally, somehow, managed to talk him into it.  It was a stupid dance that they could leave whenever they wanted to.  He holds onto the hope that they only end up staying a maximum of two hours.

"Besides," Linden says, smiling at him.  Her purple, laser-cut, metal [mask](http://www.partyoasis.com/purplebatmask.html) resting perfectly on her face.  It goes perfectly with her black strapless dress that stops right above her knees.  Chris' favorite part of her outfit being her black Converse.  She told him that she was going to be pretty...to an extent.  "What else are we gonna do?  Watch movies and binge eat candy all night?  This is more fun."

"Whatever you say, Lin."  Chris reaches up and adjusts his mask so it's perfect.  Climbing out of the car, he walks over to the passenger side.  Holding out his arm for Linden, he asks in a voice as cheery as it'll get tonight, "Ready for the dance, m'lady?"

Linden chuckles as she loops her arm through Chris'.  "Why, good sir!" she replies in due fashion, sounding like a southern belle, and fluttering her eyelashes at him for added flair and dramatic effect.  "However could I refuse?"

"God, Linden," Chris laughs as they head for the school.  "We need more friends."

"I'm perfectly fine with just you as my friend," Linden replies, squeezing his arm.  "You entertain me enough."

"I can say the same."  Grabbing the door handle and pulling it open, stepping out of the way so Linden can walk inside, he follows in suit.

Once reaching the gym where the dance is being held, hearing music playing, Chris pushes open the door and lets Linden walk in, following after her.  Seeing Halloween decorations everywhere, tables set up, kids and teachers all around dressed up and wearing masks, Chris wants to instantly leave.

"Can I bail?" he sarcastically asks, but being half serious.

"No, you can't."  Chris notices Linden looking around, almost as if searching for someone.  "Who you looking for?" he teases, playfully nudging her.

"What?  Oh...No one."  Linden shakes her head and smiles.  "Just seeing who's here."

"More like seeking out," Chris points out with a small laugh.

"Am not.  I-" Linden stops talking when a guy wearing a red mask starts to walk towards them.  Chris notices her smile real big and fix her hair, but when he walks past, he notices her slump and drop her smile.

Seeing that, Chris starts to question why they are really here.  Thinking about it now, Linden's reason for this being their last chance to attend this doesn't seem like the whole reason they are currently here.  "Lin, why are we here?" he seriously asks, voice filled with wonder.

"I...I'm meeting someone," she nervously replies, chewing her lower lip.

"What?!  Someone other than me?"  Chris pretends to be offended and hurt, winking at Linden.  "Who is it?"

"I don't know."  Linden shrugs her shoulders.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"It's...It's a secret admirer."

"Lin!"  Chris exclaims, actually shocked by her answer.

"I know.  I know."  Linden nods her head, saying she knows he thinks she's crazy for this.  "He told me to meet him here.  Said he'd be wearing a red eye mask."

"Lin, there's lots of guys wearing red masks," Chris points out, deciding not to bother her about doing this.  And forcing him to come here.  "How do you know this guy is real?"

"I don't."  Linden sighs, dropping her shoulders and looking defeated.  "I'm stupid.  Am I stupid?  I can't believe I was so gullible.  We should go."

"It's okay, Lin.  It'll be fi-"  Looking over Linden's head, he sees him walking towards them.  Even with the red eye mask resting on his face, Chris knows who it is.  "You're gonna give me all the details."

"What?!"  Linden says, sounding confused.

"Have fun."  Grabbing her by her shoulders, Chris turns her around.

Even with the music, he hears the gasp she releases.  Smiling for his best friend, he lets her go as she takes the hand Matthew offers her.

Watching her walk away, chuckling when she looks back at him with shock still on her face, Chris stands there alone.  Feeling awkward, he looks at all the people and considers just leaving.

"Hey, Chris," Darren's voice suddenly says.  Chris looks to find him walking up and stopping in front of him; he wears a intricately designed laser cut black [mask](http://www.partyoasis.com/velacuteyema1.html) the rests perfectly over his eyes.  "What are you doing here?"

Chris is surprised by seeing Darren.  When he asked him if he was coming to the dance, he never even entertained the thought about the idea of Darren being a chaperon.  But he likes seeing him.  It makes a happiness swim through him.

"I forgot a book in my locker I needed," Chris deadpans, turning the corner of his mouth into a small smile.

"Funny."  Darren laughs as he sets his drink he holds on one of the many Halloween decorated tables.  "But, I thought you weren't coming?  You told me-"

"Linden finally talked me into it," Chris cuts him off.  "Trust me, I'd rather be someplace else at the moment."

"Where is Linden?"  Darren takes a quick look around the semi-darkened room.

"With Matthew Avery dancing," Chris tells him.  "Turns out he was her secret admirer."

"Huh.  A secret admirer.  That's good for her."  Chris sees as Darren looks out to the dance floor.

Looking himself, he spots Linden joyfully laughing and smiling as she dances with Matthew.  "Yeah," he softly sighs.  "Seems everybody has somebody to dance with tonight.  I'm the black sheep."

"Don't worry," Darren softly says.  "You'll find someone to dance with one day."

"Why don't you dance with me?"  Chris jokingly asks, although he is half-serious, nodding his head to the crowd of couples slow dancing at the moment.

"You know I can't," Darren softly replies, sounding broken up about it, as he takes a small step back; Chris feels a pain at hearing his reply.  "Why did you even ask me that?"

"Because I want to dance with you," Chris replies in honest, small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.  "Please?"

Seeing his hand twitch at his side, Chris watches as Darren slowly reaches out and takes his hand in his.  The fear of being seen is not felt; he knows no one can see them in the darkened room.

An electric spark shoots up his arm at Darren's touch.  It seems to jolt his heart and waken him up to what's just in front of him.  Everything else around Darren and he is gone.  It's only green eyes and a face being half-hidden by a mask.

"This is wrong, Chris," Darren quietly whispers as he strokes his thumb over the back of Chris' knuckles, making it harder for him to breathe at the touch.

"This could be right," he whispers back as he softly brushes his fingers over Darren's hand.  It's so innocent, but so sensual at the same time.  It almost feels like walking a mine field and not knowing what each new step could bring.  "Please tell me I'm not the only one that feels it."

That seems to snap Darren out of the daze he is in because Chris immediately feels him pull his hand away and ball into a tight fist at his side.  "No."

"No, what?"

"No, I won't dance with you.  No, I don't feel it too," Darren clarifies for Chris as he takes a step back, putting as much space between Chris and he.  "This needs to stop.  I'm your teacher, Chris."

"You're right.  You were right," Chris mutters, voice broken, as he glances at the door, already getting ready to flee.  He fights to hold back the tears that spring to his eyes.  This is more pain he could have avoided; pain to go with everything else that's happened these past several weeks.  "I'm being stupid, and a complete idiot.  I don't know what I was thinking, again."

Turning and quickly heading for the door, feeling like an asshole for leaving Linden to her own devices, he pushes at the handle and walks out.  Hearing the door shut with a heavy thud, seeing the hallways empty, he starts to head for the exit.  Picking up the pace at which he walks, trying to forget everything that just happened, he sees the door to leave when he turns a corner.

He makes it exactly two steps down the hall before someone takes ahold of his wrist.  Looking to find Darren holding his wrist and dragging him to a nearby empty classroom, he willingly goes.

Stepping inside, realizing its Mrs. Hamilton's class, he hears the door softly shut behind him.  Turning to face Darren, ready to ask what this is all about, the words die in his throat when Darren suddenly pulls him close and kisses him.

It takes a few seconds for it to register for Chris what is happening. But when it does, he melts into Darren's touch.

Closing his eyes and kissing back, noticing how perfect Darren's mouth fits to his, he lets himself get lost in the moment.  The press of full, soft lips to his is everything he's wanted for so long.  The way Darren splays his hand at his lower back and pulls him closer makes him shiver in a way he never imagined.  He'd dreamed of this happening thousands of times, but being here now it's so much better than anything he's ever dreamed.

Softly sighing when he parts his lips and feels Darren tentatively licking into his mouth, a thrill runs through him at the slide of their tongues together.

Breathing when Darren pulls away, a bit dizzy and lightheaded with delight, Chris can't hold back the smile on his lips.  "Wh-...Why did you kiss me?" he asks perplexed.

"I lied," Darren replies as he holds Chris' face in his hands.

"About what?"  Chris stares at Darren's eyes that are being illuminated from the light of the moon spilling into the classroom windows.

"I feel it too.  I've felt it for some time," Darren explains.

"Why say what you did, then?"

"I'm a twenty-eight year old teacher, and you’re my seventeen year old student, Chris.  I shouldn't be acting on these feelings I have for you."

"But you just did," Chris points out.

"And I want to do it again."  Darren caresses Chris' warm cheek with his thumb.

"Then do," Chris whispers, surprised he can form words at the moment.

Going when Darren lifts him up onto the desk, standing between his parted thighs, Chris drapes his arms over Darren's shoulders and releases a small, throaty moan when they start kissing again.

"Chris," Darren says as if answering a question he didn't ask.

"What?" he says confused.

Darren grins at him.  "You said you wanted to know the name of the guy I never told how I felt."

Thinking it over, Chris lets out a small laugh.  Leaning forward, he takes Darren's mouth in another kiss.

"Chris!"

The sound of Linden calling his name has him snapping out of the haze of delight he is in.  Hopping of the desk, letting out a small laugh as he fixes his clothes and mask, he walks out of the room.

"Yeah?" he says a bit out of breath.  He can feel his heart hammering in his chest.

"Hey!  Where were you?"  Linden asks as she walks over to him.

"Just getting some alone time," Chris replies.  "Why are you yelling my name like some crazy woman?"

"Shut up."  Linden laughs and playfully shoves him.  "I just wanted to tell you that Matthew is taking me home."

"Okay."  Chris smiles at her.  "Have fun."  He wiggles his eyebrows and suggestively whistles.

"Stop!"  Linden blushes, covering her big grin with her hand.  "I'm not gonna do anything.  He's just driving me home."

"Tell me if he's a good kisser."

"Oh, my God!  Bye, Chris."  Linden turns and walks away.

"Bye," he yells to her.

Going back into the room after Linden walks away, thinking for a split second Darren has freaked out over what happened, he moans when soft, full lips are back on his once again.  Wrapping his arms around Darren's neck, he kisses back with vigor.

"W-Why now?"  Chris asks as he pulls away to breathe.

Darren chuckles.  "I was planning on waiting until you graduated," he admits.  "But I kept noticing how sad you were, and how some of that was my fault.  I couldn't stand to see you like that anymore."

"So, you kissed me out of pity?  Nice."

"No.  I kissed you because I've wanted to for months.  Because I knew I could make you happy."  Chris turns into Darren's touch when he softly strokes his thumb over his cheek, looking up at him with bright eyes filled with joy.  "See," Darren says with a grin, "that's the look I wanted to see."

Softly moaning when Darren leans in and kisses him again, Chris feels a flutter in his chest.  He still can't believe this is happening; that Darren is doing this.  Then he starts to wonder if it's just this one kiss, or if this is the start of something more.

"Are...Are we really doing this?"  Chris asks between kisses.  He refers to much more than the kiss they are sharing.

Are they together?  Are they willing to break the rules to be together?  Is this a secret that they will have to guard with their lives?

"Yes," Darren replies as if answering all the questions Chris was asking in that one.

Following Darren when he starts to walk backward, he lets out a small scream when Darren suddenly sits down in a chair, taking him with him without saying anything.  Sitting in Darren's lap, he attaches his mouth to Darren's and goes back to kissing him.

Thirty minutes later, pulling off his mask, sitting in his car and driving away from the school, Chris can't stop grinning.  Kissing Darren is most definitely the highlight of this night.  He wishes he could tell Linden, but he knows he can't.  For Darren and his safety.

As he drives home, he knows he won't be able to sit in Mrs. Hamilton's class without thinking about what he did tonight. 


	4. Chapter 4

It's the first time...ever he looks forward to going to school on a Monday.  And it all has to do with seeing Darren again.  He hasn't talked to him since the classroom make out during the dance, but he figures it's nothing when they had no way of knowing the other's number.

Arriving to class ten minutes before the bell rings, leaving Linden with Matthew as they act all sickeningly cute, he steps into the room to find Darren writing on the dry-erase board.  Glad no one else is in the room; he sits at his desk and stares at Darren's ass in the jeans he wears.

"Is the term "Hot for teacher" too inappropriate to use right now?"  Chris speaks up, noticing Darren still for a second at the sound of his voice.  "Because I definitely am at the moment."

"Good morning, Chris," Darren says in a normal voice as he continues to write on the board.  "Have you completed your homework I assigned Friday?  Because, if not, you have some time before class starts."

Chris gets confused at what Darren tells him.  He doesn't get why he's acting like nothing happened just a few short days before.  "Yeah," he answers as he nods his head.

"Good," Darren says as he turns to face him, fixing a stack of papers on his desk.

"Darren?"  Chris whispers.

"Yes, Chris?"  Darren says in a tone of voice that sounds more like a teacher than the guy who was kissing him Friday night.

"Nothing," Chris mumbles, resting his head on his desk.

He ignores it for the rest of class.  He ignores Darren as he teaches; he can't look at him without feeling a bit upset.  He knows if he gives it any thought, he will only think things that will upset and confuse him.  So, it’s best to let it go for now.

Talking to Linden as Darren goes on about the meanings in The Scarlett Letter, giggling over something she tells him, he reaches over and playfully pushes at her shoulder.

"Chris!"  Darren calls his name, getting his attention.  "Since I seem to be of a bore to you, you can make up today's lesson in detention."

Hearing some students let out little snickers, and others look at him with amusement in their eyes, he glares back at them.  At the moment, he's pissed at Darren.  Why should he be the only one to get in trouble?  Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want Linden in trouble along with him.  But it's not fair.

The sound of the bell ringing ten minutes later, signaling the end of class, Chris stands up and grabs his stuff.  Heading out of the room, he stops and walks back to Darren.  "Why didn't you give Linden detention, as well?"  He stops in front of Darren's desk, hand wrapped around the one strap of his backpack strung over his shoulder.  "She was talking as just as much as me.  It's not fair.”  He states his thoughts.

He watches as Darren sees the last student leave, knowing his second period is his free one.  "I know," Darren says as he rearranges papers on his desk.

"Is this because of what happened at the dance?  Are you going to unfairly start punishing me for it?  Because, I ne-"

"You want to know why I gave you detention and not Linden, too?"

"Yes."  Chris nods his head.

"Because she's not the one I've been thinking of kissing for almost two days," Darren nonchalantly says, grinning at him.  "I needed an excuse to see you.  And you gave it to me."

Chris' cheeks warm as he blushes, biting his lower lip to hold back the beaming smile he feels playing at his lips.  "O-Okay," he mumbles.

"By the way, I'm sorry about how I acted earlier.  But you have to know I can't act like more than your teacher while in school."

"I'm sorry, then, for ignoring you in class.  I was mad about how you treated me.  I didn't understand," Chris admits, feeling stupid for not getting it sooner.  Of course Darren has to be cautious; they both have to be.  And there he was saying things that could have been heard by others.

"It's okay.  Go to class, Chris," Darren chuckles.  "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Dare," Chris whispers so no one can hear.  Turning on his heel, he walks out of the room.  Thinking about the next few hours, he knows it will be torture until the final bell of the day rings and he can see Darren.

When the bell does ring, standing up and fighting from practically sprinting to Darren's room, he places the strap of his bag on his shoulder and walks to his locker.  Placing his books in there and shutting it, he smiles at Linden as she walks up to him.

"Hey," he says as he leans back against the row of lockers.  "I know why I'm still here.  Why are you still here?"

"I'm waiting for Matthew.  We're going to go grab a bite to eat together."

"So, you and Matthew?  Tell me: is he a good kisser?"  Chris teases her, seeing her blush.  He knows if Linden knew the truth, he'd be getting teased about Darren just as much.

"He's a great kisser," Linden replies.

Looking at the time, Chris knows he should be heading to Darren's classroom.  "I gotta go.  Got boring detention to sit through."  Chris can't help but to think how detention will be anything but boring.

"Sorry I got you into trouble.  I didn't mean to," Linden apologizes.

"It's fine."  Pushing off the lockers, and leaning over to give Linden a quick kiss on her cheek, Chris spots Matthew behind her heading their way.  "Your guy is coming this way.  Have fun."

"I'll see you later.  Bye."

"Bye."  Walking away, Chris feels excitement and anticipation build in him with every step he gets closer to being alone with Darren.

Stepping into the room, finding it empty, he goes to sit down.  Sitting in one of the desk in the front row, waiting for Darren to come, Chris can't believe Darren practically had it arranged so they could meet to make out.  Sneaking around behinds people's backs, meeting in an empty classroom when they shouldn't, and simply being together, is all thrilling and exciting for him.

Sitting up and grinning when he sees Darren walk into the room, he starts to move to get up to go over to him.

"Wait."  Darren holds up his hand to stop him from getting up.  "Not yet."

Confused as to why he is making them wait, Chris settles back down in his seat.  It's two minutes later that Ms. DuBois walks into the classroom.  Tight, black pencil skirt and red button-up shirt, the first two buttons undone enough to show off more skin than is necessary, and black high-heels accentuate her small frame.  Her red hair up in a perfect bun, and green eyes striking behind the lenses of her glasses.

All Chris really knows about her is that she moved here from Louisiana.  Her accent is very discernible when she talks.  Thick with a southern drawl, mixed with a bit of Creole French, he easily gets why all the guys fawn over her.  Combined with the voice and body, she is also one hell of a looker.

"Hey, Brooke."  Darren walks over and stops right in front of her.

"Darren.  What do you say to you and me and drinks right now?"  Chris bites his lower lip from laughing when he notices Brooke stick out her chest a bit more.

"Sorry, can't."  Darren points to him and explains he has detention, Brooke turns her attention on him, and Chris notices her registered surprise at seeing him there.

"Maybe next time."  Brooke slowly runs her hand down the length of Darren's arm, not being shy about the fact that she's intentionally doing it to touch him.  But Chris can see that Darren doesn't realize that; he is totally unaware of what's going on.  "I should go then," Brooke says with a smile.  "Margarita Mondays is calling my name."

"You have class tomorrow," Darren reminds her.

"I know."  She grins and walks away, but not before giving Darren a wink.

Chris quietly laughs as an oblivious Darren simply smiles and waves goodbye to her before turning and going over to his desk, sitting down in his chair.  Standing up and sauntering over to Darren as he sits in his chair and watches him, he steps in front of him and pushes himself up onto the desk.  "You do realize she's in to you," he states as scoots back a bit more.  Legs dangling over the side, running his shoe along Darren's leg, he grins at him.

"She doesn't seem to grasp the meaning of no."  Darren stands up and looms a few inches over Chris.

Chris tilts his head back some to stare up at him.  "Just tell her you're gay.  She'll back off after that."  He knows that Darren hasn't told any of the other staff members of his sexual orientation.  Out of fear or being alienated, he's not entirely sure.  But, whatever the reason, he's not forcing him to sing it from the top of a cafeteria table.  It's Darren's choice, not his.

"I'd rather not tell my coworkers that.  If having to deal with being hit on as my only problem, I'm fine with that."

"Alright."  Chris longingly gazes up at him with want unfurling in his belly.  "Can we make out now?"

"Yes.  But let me close the door first," Darren replies as he stands up.  "Just to be safe."

Watching Darren quickly stride across the room and close the door, hearing it be locked as well, Chris stays where he's seated on the desk and eyes Darren as he walks back to him.  Opening his legs the slightest so Darren can stand between them, tipping his head back to gaze up at him, he feels heat and anticipation at having Darren's mouth on his own.  Fluttering his eyes closed when Darren leans down to him and places a kiss to the corner of his mouth, Chris turns his head the slightest and takes Darren's mouth in the much needed and wanted kiss.

After waiting what felt like forever to kiss him, and never even knowing if it would happen, Chris takes from Darren what he's wanted for so long.  Now having him here kissing him like it's the last thing either of them will get to do, making him moan as he thrusts his tongue into his mouth, he knows right then and there he'll never get enough of this.

Feeling Darren's hand wrap around his neck, thumb resting right over his racing pulse point, knowing he feels it, Chris feels as he winds his arm around his waist and pulls him closer to his body.  Opening his legs more so he can have Darren as close as possible to him, lifting them to hook over his Darren's hips, he lets a small moan pass his lips at how amazing and perfect this is.  After wanting it for so long, finally having it is better than any daydream he ever had.

"I should get detention more often," he pants against Darren's lips.

"No.  We're never doing this again."

Those words make Chris still with fear and worry.  His mind immediately goes to the worst possible scenarios.  He starts to think that Darren changed his mind and realized this was a mistake, or that he never really wanted this to begin with.  Planting his hands on his chest and pushing him away, trying to hide the hurt from his eyes, he hops off the desk.  "I have to go," he mumbles as he walks to grab his bag.

Placing the strap across his chest, he heads for the door.  Pulling it open, he immediately has it shut by the two hands on either side of him.  Turning around, he faces a confused Darren.

"Why are you leaving?"  Darren asks with confusion lacing his voice.

"Why should it matter to you, Mr. Criss?"  Chris knows it's low of him to once again refer to Darren as his teacher considering he just had his tongue in his mouth.

"Don't call me that," Darren tells him.

"Why?  It's your title; you're my teacher.  It's all you'll be to me once I leave this room."  Grabbing the strap of his bag with both his hands, he clutches it tight enough for his knuckles to turn white.

"What makes you think that?"

"You just said: We're never doing this again."  Chris doesn't mean to raise his voice, but he does.  He gets mad at Darren.  "That's why I think that."

Staring at him while mad, brows furrowed in anger, Chris least expects Darren to lunge forward and hungrily kiss him.  He tries to resist for 0.01 seconds.  But he easily gives in.  Backing up against the door, moaning when Darren easily lifts him up; wrapping his legs around his waist, Chris doesn't even care anymore that he should be mad at Darren.

"Chris," Darren mumbles against his lips.

"Yes?"  Chris murmurs, lost in a dizzy of happiness and lust.

"I meant we're never doing this again here.  It's too risky," Darren clarifies with a grin.  "I couldn't never not do this again with you if I tried."

Chris blushes in embarrassment and relief.  Kissing Darren again slow and languid, his heart races at knowing this won't be the last time he gets to experience this.

~

"How was detention?"  Linden asks as she comes up beside him.

"Boring.  Just like I said it would be," Chris lies to her, shutting his locker.

"Oh, come on, Chris.  You spent an hour alone in a room with the guy you have feelings for.  It had to be far from boring."  Linden looks at him as she raises an eyebrow, giving him a look that says she knows she's right.

"Okay," Chris huffs, deciding to give her the clean version of what happened the day before.  "I really loved being able to look at him."  _More like stick my tongue down his throat_ , he thinks.  "We talked."  _We kissed until all I could taste was the cinnamon flavor on his tongue from his gum for hours after._   "I didn't do anything beyond sitting there and work on some assignments."  _I really learned how amazing of a kisser Darren is._

"That, actually, sounds boring," Linden comments, looking unsatisfied with Chris' reply.  "It must have sucked."

"Yeah, it sucked."  Chris fights his grin as he recalls how Darren gently sucked on his lower lip in a way that had sparks of desire shooting up his spine.

"Do you think maybe he's with someone?  He could have a girlfriend or boyfriend."  Linden questions with curiosity.

" _'Girlfriend?'_ "  Chris snorts, sounding amused at Linden's choice of words.

"What?  You never told me if he was gay.  You seemed so sure, like you knew something I didn't."

"Even though I shouldn't tell you because I promised him, he's gay," Chris clarifies for her.  "So, no girlfriend of that kind to speak of."

"Boyfriend?"

"I think so."  Chris says it more as a way to get Linden to stop pushing for answers to questions he can't give.  He also doesn't ignore how he kind of just referred to himself as Darren's boyfriend, and that has him giddy inside.  He wants to ask Darren about that, but he knows that's for another time when they're not in school.

"Sorry," Linden says in a comforting voice.  "I really thought you had a chance with him."

"It's fine.  I'm happy right now."  Of course he can't say that he's happy because of Darren.  "Come on, we have to get to class."

~

Just like the previous Wednesdays before, Chris finds himself sitting next to Darren's desk during lunch.  A stack of tests that he's helping to grade sit in his lap.  But grading is proving to be difficult when he keeps glancing to Darren's mouth.

Thinking about soft, full, pink lips pressed to his makes him want to toss the papers away and climb into Darren's lap and kiss him until they are both gasping for air.

"Stop thinking about kissing me and grade those papers."  Darren grins and looks at him with a look that says he knows exactly what he's thinking.

"I can't help it.  You have very tempting lips I want to kiss."  Uncapping the red pen he holds, Chris looks at the first of many tests in his lap.

Quickly marking through several of them, coming to the conclusion that some people in his class are as stupid as they look, he stops when he gets to his test.  "Do I just give myself an A, or do I go ahead and grade?" he jokes as he holds up the paper with his name scrawled in the left hand corner.

"Give me that."  Darren laughs and takes the paper from him.

Seeing him start to grade it, Chris goes back to grading the ones he has.  He chuckles when he gets to Linden's test, not surprised she gets a perfect score.

"Here."  Darren holds out the test to him.  "A perfect score."

"Told you."  Chris playfully sticks his tongue out and takes the paper from Darren's fingers.  Looking at what is written in the corner, he covers his face with the paper and blushes.  He can't believe Darren.  Of course he would ask him in some crazy way.

Lowering the paper some so his eyes are uncovered, he looks to Darren to find him staring at him with a gleam in his eyes, and with a bright, hopeful smile on his face.

"So, what do you say?  Will you go out with me on Saturday?"  Darren asks.  “Well, not…out.  More like come over to my house for a date.”

All Chris can do is enthusiastically nod his head.

~

"Hey, Lin," Chris greets her as he presses the phone to his ear.  Rummaging through his closet, he debates over what to wear for his date in less than an hour and a half.  "Why you calling?"

"What?  I can't call my best friend?" Linden feigns being upset, but letting out a laugh anyways.  "No.  I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight with me?  We can go see something totally cliché and boring while we eat junk food."

Chris internally panics.  What does he say: Sorry, I can't because I have a date with our English teacher I can't stop thinking about kissing.  He knows he most definitely can not say that.  Thinking about it, he tries to come up with the most believable lie to tell.  Then he decides it's just easiest to decline.

"Not tonight, Lin," he says as he grabs jeans that he knows he looks great in.  "I just wanna stay home and catch up on some work.  Besides, call Matthew and go out with him."

"No can do," Linden tells him.  "He's working tonight."

"Then go see him and hang around the place for a few hours.  It's not like you haven't done it before."

"Low, Colfer.  Low," Linden teases.  "I guess I'll see you tomorrow or Monday then."

"Yeah."

"Bye, Chris."

"Bye, Lin."

Ending the call and finishing getting ready, he takes one final look at himself in the mirror.  Liking how he looks, he heads downstairs.  Finding his mom in the kitchen cooking, he goes up to her.  "Bye, mom," he says as he gives her a kiss on her cheek.  "I'll be back later."

"Where you going?"

"Just out for a few hours."

"Alright," his mom says as she hugs him.  "Be careful."

"I will be," he tells her.

Letting go and walking away, he stops when he sees Hannah.  "Bye, Hannah."  Chris smiles as she barely makes an effort to say bye back, too into the show she is currently watching.

Pulling into Darren's garage thirty minutes later, seeing him standing at the door, hearing the garage door shut behind him, Chris climbs out of the car and walks over to him.

Closing the space between them and pressing close to Darren, immediately kissing him, he smiles when he's lifted an inch off the ground.

"I'm so glad to see you," Darren mumbles against his lips.

Chris lets out a small giggle as he wraps his arms around Darren's neck.  "You saw me yesterday," he points out when he pulls back.

"I did.  That's true."  Darren laughs.  "But I didn't get to do this."

Chris softly moans when Darren kisses him again.  Smiling against Darren's lips when he lets up, he looks into gorgeous hazel eyes filled with happiness.  "I like getting to do that with you."

"I can't stop thinking about doing that with you," Darren admits with a small laugh.  "Kind of distracting when I'm trying to teach."

"That’s nice to hear,” Chris laughs against Darren’s lips.  “Although, you hid your desire to kiss me very well.”

“I just kept thinking about tonight, and that got me through it.”

“Well, now we’re here.  What do you want to do?  And just so you know, I am totally up for making out for the entire time.”

Darren just chuckles and shakes his head.  “I ordered Chinese because I can’t cook to save my life.  So, are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Chris answers.

Slipping his hand in Darren’s, he follows him inside the house.  Getting a look around the nice, spacious house, Chris finds it crazy that he’s here.  He never thought he’d get to this moment; being in Darren’s home is something he thought would never happen a few months ago.  It’s surreal; it all feels like a dream, and one he doesn’t want to wake from if it’s not real.

Stopping in the living room, taking a look around, he gazes to Darren and smiles.  “Nice house,” he comments.

“Thanks,” Darren replies.  “But I’m renting.  God knows I wouldn’t be able to afford this on my salary.”

Feeling Darren give his hand a squeeze, he turns into him and places a sweet, affectionate kiss on his lips.  An arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer has him sighing.  Staring into Darren’s eyes when he pulls back, Chris is surprised when he takes their clasped hands and rests them to his chest and starts to slowly sway.  “What are you doing?” he quietly asks.

“I’m giving you the dance you asked for last week,” Darren responds as he sways to music that isn’t playing.

Smiling, Chris wraps his other arm around Darren’s neck.  Resting his cheek against Darren’s, he closes his eyes and moves with Darren.  Slowly dancing in Darren’s living room, hearing him softly humming by his ear, already knowing this is one of the best nights of his life so far, Chris can’t stop his heart from wildly beating in his chest.

Turning his head and nuzzling his nose along Darren’s cheek, feeling lite stubble against his chin and lips.  Moaning when Darren turns and captures his mouth in a tender kiss, still swaying together, he parts his lips and lets Darren tentatively dip his tongue into his mouth.  Softly whimpering when he massages his tongue with Darren’s, lost in all that is happening, Chris doesn’t realize he’s being walked backward to the couch.  Feeling the back of his legs hit the couch, he lies down as Darren continues to kiss him.  Getting comfortable and parting his thighs, he gasps when Darren lowers himself down on him, brushing their clothed erections together.  Hooking his legs over Darren's hips, he softly moans into Darren's mouth when he gently starts to rock his hips down.

When he came over tonight, Chris was not expecting anything of this magnitude to happen.  The most he expected was some heavy making out.  But now that he's here, experiencing Darren moving on top of him in a way that makes him softly moan, he wants nothing else but this.  This is better than anything he thought would happen tonight.

It's a rush of emotions and thoughts and feelings as Darren and he slowly move together.  But it's all focused on Darren.  It's the most he felt connected to someone.  He feels as if he's rooted to this one spot by this one person.  He knows he's supposed to be here with Darren; it feels right.

"Are you okay?"  Darren softly pants against Chris' lips, reaching down and gripping at his thigh.

"Y-Yeah."  Chris nods his head, keeping his eyes on Darren's, clutching at his back.

"Does it feel good?"  Darren thrust his hips down hard, gently grinding them against Chris, making him tip his head back and whimper.

Chris digs his short nails into Darren's back, slowly losing all coherent thoughts; solely focused on the white, hot pleasure starting to swim through his veins.  But he somehow manages to reply with a yes and nod his head.

Moaning when Darren kisses him slow and languid, gently thrusting his tongue into his mouth as he continues to slowly rock against him, Chris feels as his orgasm starts to build in his belly.  Heat swirls and spreads under his skin.  Lifting his hips up into Darren, moving with him, pleasure flowing through him with each brush of their groins, getting closer and closer, he chases his release.  "I...I'm close, Dare," he heavily breathes.  Turning his head and exposing more of his neck when Darren starts to kiss at the soft skin, he moans as each small kiss and nip of his teeth sends a jolt of arousal through his body.

Capturing Darren's mouth in a frantic kiss, groaning at the slide of their tongues together, rocking his hips up, he sighs at the delicious pleasure being created in his body by Darren.  Reaching down and clutching at Darren's hips, feeling the movement of them under his hands, Chris feels how much closer he is to his release.

"Dare," he quietly whines.

"Come, Chris.  Come for me, baby," Darren whispers into his ear.

It's that endearment being whispered to him that makes him let go; he falls.

Arching his back and tipping his head back, pulling his lower lip between his teeth, he releases a soft moan as he comes.  His orgasm is dizzying and leaves him with pleasure running through him.  It's better than any one he's experienced alone.

Sighing into Darren's mouth when he captures his lips in a slow, languid kiss, he softly groans as he continues to move his hips against him until he comes.

"That...That was amazing."  Chris drops his head back on the couch, smiling up at Darren with a blush still staining his cheeks.  As Darren stares down at him, Chris notices his eyes change from ones filled with happiness and joy to ones filled with worry.  It has his own worry growing in his mind.  "What?" he asks in a soft voice.

"This was a mistake," Darren responds as he moves to climb off Chris.  He scoots back until his back hits the arm of the couch, putting his hands up to stop Chris from coming closer.  "Oh, my God," he groans as he drops his head in his hands.  "I'm so fucking stupid."

"It's okay, Darren," Chris tries to say in a comforting, assuring voice.  "I wanted to do that."

"You might have wanted to do that, but that doesn't mean we should have."

Chris' face falls at Darren's words.  "Do...Do you not want me?" he asks with a low voice; he turns his attention to his hands in his lap.

"Oh, God!  No!"  Darren scoots a bit closer to Chris and takes his hands.  "Chris, trust me, I want you.  Damn, Chris, I want you more than anything I've ever known.  What we did was fantastic, but it shouldn't have happened."

"Why?"

"Why?"  Darren repeats with a small chuckle.  "Other than the fact that you're seventeen and I'm twenty-eight, or the fact that you're my student?"

"That's all," Chris says sounding a bit relieved, thinking it was something extreme.  "You made it out to be worse than it was."

"Chris," Darren groans, "I just broke the law.  It's the worst thing possible."

"Only if someone finds out."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"What can I do to ease your mind?"  Chris scoots until he's almost sitting in Darren's lap.  Leaning over, he captures Darren's mouth in a slightly urgent, hungry kiss.  Climbing into Darren's lap, wrapping his arms around his neck, he grins.  "Better?" he mumbles as he starts to kiss along Darren's jaw.

He lets out a soft moan when he barely rocks his hips down on Darren's.

"Wait...No!  No!"  Darren grabs Chris' hips and forces him off, pushing a little too hard and causing him to fall back on the couch.

"What?"  Chris says confused.

"We can't do that again," Darren heavily pants as he pushes off Chris.

"Like ever again?  'Cause that would really suck."  Chris pushes up on to his elbows.

"No," Darren chuckles, "not like ever again.  Just not as long as you're seventeen."

"I'm fucking seven--almost eight--months from my birthday!  That's too long to wait."

"Actually, I take that back."

"Thank you!  Because I can't wait eight months to do that again."

"We won't be doing that, or anything else, until you graduate."

Chris falls back against the couch in an annoyed, and slightly frustrated, heap.  "You're trying to kill me," he grumpily complains.

"No.  I'm trying not to get in trouble."  Darren moves to hover over him.

"This is already trouble," Chris points out, arching an eyebrow.

"And it's enough of a risk as it is.  So, any way to refrain from getting into more trouble, I'm doing it."

"Which is by not doing me."

"Yes."  Darren chuckles as he stands up.  "I'll get you a change of clothes."

"Thanks."  He's a bit pissed that Darren pretty much put a stop to their physical relationship before it really started, but he understands.  It's for the best.  But the moment he has that diploma in his hand, he's rushing to Darren's house to be

Pulling out his phone and pulling up the calendar, he clicks on the day of his graduation eight months from now.  Typing in three exclamation points on the date, discreet enough that no one will think he's referring to anything else but graduating, he closes the calendar.

Looking up and finding Darren walking back, already changed into sweats and a loose, dark plain shirt, he stands up and takes the clothes he offers him.  He tells him where the bathroom is, and asks what he would like to drink.

"I'll take a glass of red wine," Chris replies to be cheeky, grinning at Darren.

"I just committed one felony.  I'm not adding providing alcohol to a minor to my growing list of felonies." Darren nervously rubs the back of his neck.  "So, it's either Coke or water."

"I'll take a Coke, then."  Chris can see the nerves and fear plainly written on Darren's face.  It doesn't take a genius for him to know what it's about.  "I won't tell anybody, Dare," he whispers as he takes a step closer to Darren.  "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I know.  I know."  Darren wraps his arms around Chris' waist and pulls him close to his body; dropping his forehead to Chris', he closes his eyes.  "I know you wouldn't.  But...If somebody found out."

"Hey, nobody is going to find out."  Chris stares into Darren's eyes when he opens them.  "Nobody is going to discover us, or know about this.  My mouth is sealed on what just happened."

"Thanks."  Darren exhales in a relieved breath.

"Except for Linden.  I'm telling her."  Chris laughs at the look that crosses Darren's face.  It's one of fear and worry.

"Chris!"

He smiles at how worried Darren is.  "I'm kidding.  I promise."  Laughing when Darren starts to tickle him, saying it's payback, Chris tries to back away, but only finds himself pressed up against a wall.

Sighing into the kiss Darren gives him after he stops tickling him; Chris wraps an arm around Darren's neck. Parting his lips and welcoming the gentle thrust of Darren's tongue into his mouth, massaging their tongues together.  "I'm telling her, though.  About us," he whispers after Darren breaks the kiss.  Instantly, he feels Darren tense against him.

"Chris, you can't do that," Darren warns him.

"I know.  I meant after I graduate.  That day, I want to tell her."

"Why?"

"She's my best friend," Chris tells him.  "I'd like her to know."

"How do you think she'll react?"  Darren pushes off Chris and puts a bit of space between them.

"I have no fucking clue."  Chris chuckles as he picks up the pants he dropped.  "But I can't wait to find out."

"I don't entirely think that's a good idea."  Darren lets out a huff. 

"Hey, it'll be fine," Chris whispers in a comforting voice as he steps close to Darren.  "She won't tell anyone if I ask her to."

"Are you sure?"  Darren asks concerned.

"Yes.  After some time, we can tell everybody else."

"Alright."  It's then Darren looks at him as his eyes fill with a hint of wonder and amusement.  "Who's to say we'll even still be together at the end of the school year.  I could get tired of you, or vice versa."

"Yeah right."  Chris snorts.  "The only thing you'll get tired of is waiting to hit this."

"Oh, my God!"  Darren burst out laughing, grabbing at his side.  "Did you literally use the term "hit this" to describe me sleeping with you?"

"Yes," Chris replies, quietly laughing along with Darren.  "What did they say in the ye olden days, Old Man: Share my bed?"

"Ouch!  The first joke about my age." Darren pretends to be hurt.  "I should remind you that I'm only twenty-eight."

"Alright, Old Man," Chris teases.  "I should go, it's seven-thirty.  Way past your bedtime."  Turning on his heel and walking to the bathroom to change, Chris lets out a small scream when Darren suddenly grabs him, spins him around, and lifts him up.  Instantly wrapping his legs around Darren's waist, winding his arms around his neck, Chris looks into his eyes filled with amusement and desire.

"Who's old now?"  Darren muses as he holds tight to Chris.

"Definitely not you," Chris replies as he leans in and kisses Darren.  Softly humming as he tentatively dips his tongue past soft, full lips, he faintly moans when Darren flicks his tongue over his.

Lost in the kiss, Chris lets out a small oomph when Darren backs him up against a wall.  Barely being hefted up some, holding tight to Darren as he supports him, he releases a ragged breath against Darren's mouth when he feels hands grab at his ass.  Whining low in his throat at Darren’s hands gently massaging the flesh of his ass.  But as quick as he starts, he feels him stopping.

"Why'd you stop?"  Chris inquires as he catches his breath after Darren pulls back from the kiss.

"Because we've already gone too far once tonight.  And because we have a date to finish."

Wishing they didn't have to stop, Chris understands and accepts where Darren is coming from on the physical side of their...relationship, he figures he would call it.  Pondering what they are, mulling it over some in his mind, he furrows his brows together in wonder.

"What?"  Darren asks as he takes a small step back, just enough so Chris can safely step on to the floor.

"Are we in a relationship?"  Chris asks in curiosity.  "Are we together?  And if so, does that mean you’re my boyfriend?"

"I hope so.  I would like that very much," Darren answers as he brushes a strand of hair away from Chris' forehead.

"Huh!"  Chris huffs, looking a bit disappointed.

"What?"  Darren chuckles.

"I just thought...I thought you would ask me.  Don't get me wrong, I love that I'm your boyfriend, and vice versa."  Chris blushes at that admission.  "I just wanted to be asked."

"Sorry," Darren apologizes.  "I should have asked."

"It's okay.  I just like knowing that your mine now."

Darren leans over and kisses Chris, gently cupping his cheek, and making his heart race.  "I like knowing your mine, as well," he whispers after resting his forehead to Chris'.

Chris smiles wide at that.  "How about I go change, and we finally finish our date," he suggests.

"Okay," Darren replies.

Three hours later standing in Darren's kitchen kissing goodbye, which they've been doing for ten minutes already, Chris finally musters enough willpower to push away from Darren.  "I have to go," he breathlessly tells him.

"Okay."  Darren cups his cheek and moves in to softly kiss him.  "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Alright."  Smiling at Darren, feeling happy, Chris knows it's time for him to leave.  "Bye, Dare."

"Bye."

Heading to the garage and to his car, Chris turns when Darren calls his name behind him.  "Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you'd answer something for me."

"Sure."  Chris nods his head.

"I wanted to know if you'd like to be my boyfriend?"  Darren smiles, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh!  I don't know.  You see, I already have somebody," Chris teases, biting his lower lip as he grins.

"Is that so?"  Darren asks as he moves over to Chris.

"Yup."  Chris nods his head, reaching out and fingering the hem of Darren's shirt.  "He's pretty great."

"How great?"  Darren steps close to Chris until he's pressed back against the car door.

Trying to focus on something that isn't the press of Darren's body to his, Chris breathes to calm his now racing heart.  "He...He makes me happy."

"Happy?  That's good.  You deserve happiness in your life."

Chris sighs when Darren softly brushes his lips over his neck.  "Yeah," he agrees.  "He also makes me feel beautiful."

"He better."  Darren lifts his head and grazes his lips over Chris' slightly parted ones.  "You deserve to know how gorgeous you are."

Moaning when Darren flicks the tip of his tongue over his top lip, Chris reaches up and plants his hands on Darren's chest, feeling defined muscles under his hands.  "H-He...He," he stutters, lost in a tizzy of many emotions.  "He makes me feel alive."

“Well,” Darren mumbles against Chris’ lips, “it seems I’m out of luck.  He seems like a great guy who’s lucky to have you.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”  Quietly sighing when Darren kisses him, curling his fingers against his chest, Chris flutters his eyes closed and pushes his tongue into Darren’s mouth after he parts his lips.  “Yes,” he heavily pants when he ends the kiss.

“What?”

“Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend,” he clarifies for Darren.

Darren chuckles as he kisses Chris one more time before he leaves.

~

Closing the front door of his house behind him, hanging his keys up on the hook, Chris starts to walk to his room.  Saying hi to his mom as he passes her sitting on the couch watching some movie, he stops when she abruptly calls his name.

"Yeah?"  He turns to face her.

"What happened?  Why are you wearing different pants?"

Of course she would notice something like that.  He quickly thinks up of a believable lie.  "I spilled something on my jeans.  So, I thought it would be easier to just buy some new pants than walk around wearing jeans with a stain."  He mentally pats himself on the back for that one.  Technically, it's not far from the truth.

Letting out a relieved breath when his mom buys the lie, he tells her goodnight and goes to his room.  As he walks, he's thankful Darren didn't give him sweatpants with his college name on them.  There would have been no way to explain that.

Collapsing on his bed, big smile on his face, still feeling flushed from everything, Chris slowly falls asleep with thoughts of Darren and what happened tonight running through his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Stepping outside to have some privacy from everybody in the house, rubbing his hands together at the cold, he pulls his phone out of his pocket.  Pulling up Darren's number, he listens as it rings a few times.

"Hello," Darren says in greeting, sounding happy that Chris called.

"Happy Turkey Day!"  Chris excitedly, but quietly, tells him.

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Chris."  Chris hears someone's voice in the background as they talk to Darren.  "No, Mom," he hears Darren say, "I don't need any more food."  Chris laughs when he hears Darren's mom say he's too skinny; that he needs to eat.  "Mom, I just ate three servings of food.  I'm gonna go into a food coma if I eat anymore."

Bouncing up and down on his feet to keep warm, wishing he had brought something hot to drink with him, Chris waits for Darren to finish speaking with his mom.

"Sorry about that," Darren apologizes a few minutes later.

"It's okay.  My mom is the same.  She made sure I ate at least one serving of everything.  She told me I've lost too much weight since-"  Chris stops talking at the pang of hurt he feels in his chest.  He quickly wipes away the tear that rolls down his cheek.  "I'm sorry," he apologizes, sniffling.

"Don't apologize, Chris," Darren replies in a soft, comforting voice.  "It's always difficult the first time this time of year."

"I miss him.  This is the first holiday season without him.  It's kind of not the same without his loud laughter filling the house."  Chris wipes away the new tears that roll down his cheeks.

"I know how you feel," Darren responds.  "My first holiday season after my grandma died was tough."

"But you got through it."

"Yeah," Darren tells him, sounding a bit sad.  "I got through it.  And so will you."

"I miss you," Chris quietly admits.

"I miss you, too."

"When will you be back?"

"Tomorrow night," Darren replies.

Chris smiles at the answer.  He misses Darren.  The need to hold him close and kiss him has only grown with each passing second.  And, though, it's only been five days since he saw him last, it's felt like forever.  "Can I come see you?" he asks with hope lacing his eager voice.

"Stop by after five.  I should be back by then."

"Okay."  Chris grins, hearing Darren agreeing.  "I'll let you go, now.  Bye."

"Bye."

Ending the call, Chris hears the front door close behind him.  He turns to find his mom walking over to him.

"I saw you on the phone.  You talking to Linden, sweetie?"  His mom asks as she sits down beside him on the porch step.

"Yeah."  He nods his head and smiles, putting his phone away.  "She was just telling me Happy Thanksgiving."

"If things were different, and that doesn't mean I want them to be; I'm perfectly happy with how things are.  But, if things were different, I could see Linden and you together."

Chris lets out a loud laugh, his breath coming out in white puffs of air.  "Linden and me?" he rhetorically asks as he tries to stop laughing.  That's the funniest thing he's heard in a long time.  "That would be so weird, Mom.  She's like my sister."

"I'm just saying, sweetie," his mom quietly laughs.  "In some strange alternative universe, I could see Linden and you as a couple.  You would have been those friends that secretly liked each other but didn't know how to say it.  Then something would happen and you both confess your feelings, and the rest is history."

"I think you've been watching too many romantic comedies, Mom," Chris teases as he wraps an arm around his mom's waist, resting his head on her shoulder.  Sitting there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, feeling the cold, bitter air hitting his cheeks, he softly sighs.  "I miss daddy," he admits, feeling a wave of sadness rush over him.

"I know, sweetie, me too," his mom says with a shaky and broken voice.

Chris lifts his head to see her wiping away tears.  "I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's okay."  She forces a smile and takes a deep breath.  "I know it's going to be hard this time of year with your father gone, but I want you to know I'm going to try my hardest to make sure it's still wonderful."

"Thanks, Mom," Chris whispers into her ear after leaning into her and giving her a tight hug.

"You're welcome, sweetie."  She gives him a kiss on his forehead as she rubs her hand up and down his back in a soothing gesture.  "Now, come inside, because it's freezing out here."

"Alright."  Standing up, Chris offers his hand, which his mom takes, and helps her to her feet.  Walking back into the warm house, he thinks about Darren and how he wishes he was here with him.  With him, he knows this would all be a bit easier.

~

"Does it say something strange about me if I'm outside making snow angels with you right now?"  Darren asks as he continues to open and close his arms and legs as he lies in the snow.

"No."  Chris minutely shakes his head.  "By the way, you suggested snow angels after I got a little too handsy.  So, you're only here because of you."

"Me?"  Darren laughs, Chris seeing the puff of white air that is his breath.  "I could barely think straight as I forced myself to stop you from shoving your hands down my pants."

"I needed to warm up my hands," Chris jokes as he giggles.

"Funny."

Looking to Darren after he stops moving his arms and legs, stomach doing a flip when he licks the snowflake on his lower lip away, Chris thinks about how he wants to lick that bottom lip.  "I'm cold," he says, needing to get inside Darren's house so he can kiss him.  "Can we go in?"

"Sure."  Darren sits up.  "I'll make something hot to warm us up."

Taking Darren's gloved hand when he offers it, being pulled up, he presses close to him as they walk inside.  He knows he doesn't have to worry about nosey neighbors.  Darren told him the neighbors to his right left for the holidays the day before, and the house to the left is still unoccupied for now.  That means being able to hold hands and be as close as they want.

Stepping inside once Darren opens the door, pulling off his gloves and jacket as Darren does the same.  "Dare," Chris whispers after closing the door behind him.

Darren turns to face him.  "Yeah?"

Pressing close to his body, the sweater he wears warm against him, he nuzzles his cold nose along Darren's neck.  He feels as Darren shivers against his body from the press of his nose to his warm skin.  Lifting his head and brushing his lips along Darren's, he quietly says as he grins, "Can you warm my lips for me?"

Darren grins back at him as he arches an eyebrow.  "Now," he says, pretending to be in the dark, "how do you suppose I go about doing that?"

Chris parts his lips and flicks his tongue over Darren's top lip.  Softly kissing the soft, plump lip, he quietly chuckles as Darren grips his hips.  "I think you're smart enough to come up with an answer we could both enjoy." Winding his arms around Darren's waist, hands resting at his lower back, Chris looks into his eyes and only says what he does next to see how Darren will react.  "Or, I could drop to my kne-"

Darren doesn't let Chris finish before he's attaching his mouth to Chris' and hungrily and desperately kissing him.

Deeply moaning, and giving back just as much as Darren gives, Chris lets out a small oomph when Darren backs him up against a wall.  The kiss is filled with need and want.  Chris knows how easy it could be for them to cross a line he wouldn't mind crossing.

"I knew you were smart," he mumbles against Darren's lips, releasing a small chuckle.  Gasping and panting when Darren pulls back and stares at him, watching intently as he runs his tongue along his lower lip to wet it, Chris wonders why he stopped kissing him.  "What?"

"Chris, please do me a favor."  As Darren talks, Chris can hear the desperation and need heavy in his voice.  "Between now and graduation, don't ever mention dropping to your knees to me again."

"Okay."  Chris laughs as he nods his head, finding it cute how unhinged he made Darren with that simple comment.  It has him wondering how he'll be when they go beyond just making out.

"I'm going to stop kissing you now because the urge to get you naked is surprisingly stronger than ever," Darren informs him; Chris finds himself preen with pride at the words.  He likes knowing he's making Darren crazy and desperate for him; it feels good to know he's not the only one fighting the same urges.  "I'm going to go make hot chocolate.  You can do what you want while I do that.  But we need a few minutes alone to cool down.  Alright?"

"Fine."  Chris pouts.  "I'll see what's showing on TV."

Darren leans in close to him again, brushing his lips over his as he talks.  "Don't pout, Chris.  It makes me want to fuck you that much more, and we both know I can't do that right now."

Chris closes his eyes and shivers at Darren's words, and how it has a heat stirring in his belly.

Being attracted to Darren is nothing new.  It's been that way for quite some time now.  But being attracted to him when they both want to rip each other's clothes off and go at it like there's no tomorrow, that's new.  Its difficult holding back urges that he wants to give in to.  He does, though.  It’s for the best right now.

Sitting on the couch while Darren walks to the kitchen, grabbing the remote, Chris flicks through channels on the TV.  Deciding on the animated version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas that is showing, he watches as The Grinch and Max prepare to steal Christmas.

"Here," Darren says as he comes up in front of him holding a mug of hot chocolate.

Taking it as Darren sits down next to him, scooting closer and nuzzling into his side, Chris happily sighs when Darren wraps an arm around him.  "There was nothing good showing," he says as he blows on the hot chocolate to cool it down.

"That's okay.  I love this."

"Good.  Because it was either this or a cooking show.  And I didn't want you to have to endure a show about something you can't do very well."  Taking a slow sip of his drink, Chris hears Darren chuckle.

"Hey, I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich."

"You made me one the other day, and the bread was burnt."  Chris leans over and sets his mug on the table in front of them.  Stretching out and lying on the couch, resting his head in Darren's lap, he is a tad relieved when Darren doesn't make him move.  "I think you should stick to ordering out and frozen dinners."

"How long can you stay?"  Darren asks to change the subject as he sets his mug on the table, starting to run his fingers through Chris' soft hair.

"Awhile," Chris replies as he sees The Grinch steal a crumb from a mouse.  "We still have some family over.  So, my mom is busy with them."

"You tired of them already?"  Darren jokes as he laughs.

"Yes," Chris answers in a serious tone, turning to look up at Darren.  "There's only so much I can tolerate of them, and that quota was passed on the second day."

No longer paying attention to the TV, and gazing up at Darren, Chris turns into his touch as he gently strokes his thumb over his cheek.  The touch sends a warmth through his body.

It's so easy to lie here with Darren and simply be with nothing in their way.  The happiness he feels at gazing up at Darren, and knowing he wouldn't want to be anywhere else with anyone else, Chris knows if this were to be how the rest of his life would go, he would be happy, and content, with that.

"You're so beautiful," Darren softly says as he adoringly gazes down at him.

Chris feels his cheeks warm with blush.  Hiding his face by pressing it into Darren's stomach, he grins.

"No.  Don't hide."  Darren gently tugs him back so he can see him again.  “Let me see your stunning eyes.”

Staring up at Darren so he can see his eyes, heart racing in his chest over how Darren looks at him.  He stares down at him like he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.  It makes him want to be looked at like that for the rest of his life by Darren. 

~

It was his mom's idea to pick out a real Christmas tree this year.  Years of pulling out the plastic, fake one from the garage has taken its toll on her.  So, he went along with it.

It's something Chris would have enjoyed more with his dad here.  But he knows it's best not to let his mind linger on the sad part of it all.  He's here to help pick a tree, that's all; he knows there's no need to focus on the part that hurts.  It's supposed to be fun and enjoyable, so that's what he's going to do.

So far having spent thirty minutes of walking amongst all sizes of trees, he is no closer to deciding than he was at the start.  With the cold air blowing, and hearing traditional Christmas music being played through speakers, he's kind of ready to just pick one and go home.  Besides, is there really a difference between this tree and that one.  In the end, they all end up on the side of the curb with the trash.

Stopping and standing in front of a six foot tall Spruce tree, breathing in the smell of the pines, Chris jumps at the brush of a hand over his ass.  Turning to see who it was, ready to hit someone, he laughs and shakes his head as Darren stands next to him.  "Hi, Dare," he faintly says so as not to be heard by others.

"Hey, Chris.  Sorry about touching your ass," Darren replies, grinning and winking at him; Chris knows he's far from sorry.

"I highly doubt that."  Looking back to the big, beautiful tree, wondering if he could convince his mom to buy this one, he sees out of the corner of his eyes Darren staring at him.  "What?" he mumbles as he turns his sight back to the tree in front of him.

"You're beautiful," Darren replies, voice low so only he can hear.

It's the last thing Chris expected to hear.  Hearing Darren tell him that has him closing his eyes and fighting the huge smile that wants to spread across his face.  Opening his eyes and taking a deep breath to collect himself, seeing a puff of white air when he releases it, he turns to look at Darren.  "Only Linden and my mom have ever told me that," he shares with Darren, shyly smiling.  "It's nice to hear it from someone else."

"I'll tell you more often, then."  Chris sees as something clicks for Darren after he says that.  “That’s why you got embarrassed the other day, isn’t it?”

Chris nods his head as he blushes.  Wanting to change the subject, Chris thinks of anything to ask Darren.  "You looking for a tree?"  It's a stupid question with an obvious answer.  What other reason would Darren have for being here?

"Yeah."  Darren nods his head as he takes a look at the tree they stand in front of.  "Though, nothing this big," he jokes.

Chris quietly laughs.  "This is the first time my family will have a real tree in a few years."

"I usually put up the fake, plastic kind, too.  Thought I'd buy a real one this year."

"That's good.  Means I get to see you today."

"Talking about seeing," Darren says.  "Can you come over tomorrow?  We haven't been alone in a week."

"I'll try," Chris replies, knowing he'll do everything possible to be alone with Darren for a few short hours.  He's right.  It's been over a week since they were alone together.  Now that he's mentioned it, Chris feels a need to be with Darren for a few hours to properly make out with him.  A few stolen kisses in the bathroom at school were good, but not enough to suffice him.  He needs time to just enjoy being with Darren and kissing him.

"Okay."

"Chris!"

Hearing his mom yelling his name, Chris turns just in time to see his mom spot him.  Watching her walk over to him, he looks back to Darren. "That's my mom," he tells him.

"Chris," his mom says as she stops close to him, "Hannah found a tree.  We're ready to go."  Chris sees as she looks at Darren next to him, curiosity filling her eyes.  "Who's this, sweetie?"

"This is my English teacher, Mom, Mr. Criss," Chris informs her.  "We were just talking about...trees."  He tries not to laugh when he hears Darren quietly snort beside him, looking at his mom and knowing she didn't hear him.

"Oh!  Well, it's lovely to meet you, Mr. Criss," she politely says as she holds out her hand.

"Please, call me Darren."  Chris sees as Darren slips his hand in his mom's and shakes it.  "It's lovely to meet you, too."

"If you'll excuse us, I have a tree and daughter waiting for me."

"It's fine.  I'll see you in class Monday, Chris," Darren says.  "Bye."

"Bye," Chris hears his mom say.

Turning to look at Darren as they start to walk away, he mouths tomorrow; he doesn't care what it will take, he's going to be with him the next day so he can do what he wants, which is kiss him long and hard.

Darren nods his head.

~

Sitting on the couch helping his mom untangle lights as Hannah pulls out decorations, Chris thinks about seeing Darren the next day.  It makes him giddy and excited.  It feels like the day before Christmas when he was a kid, and anticipation coursed through his veins as he excitedly waited for the next morning to arrive.

"He was cute," he hears his mom say suddenly.

"What?"  Chris says slightly confused, not sure what his mom's talking about since he was thinking about Darren.

"Your English teacher.  He's cute," she clarifies for him.

"Mom!"  Chris says shocked, blushing a deep red.

"What?" she replies in an innocent sounding tone.  "I'm merely stating an opinion here.  And don't try and tell me you don't think he's cute, Chris.  I see the blush staining your cheeks."

"Mom!"  Chris drops his head in his hands and mumbles, blushing even more because of embarrassment and thinking about Darren.

"Don't worry, sweetie," his mom says as she finishes untangling the string of lights she has, "I thought one of my teachers in high school was cute.  Not as cute as Darren, though."

"Can we please stop talking about how cute you think my English teacher is?"  Chris sees his mom minutely nod her head.  It's totally weird and awkward, considering he intimately knows Darren now.  "Thank you.  Now," he says as he stands up, holding up the untangled lights, "let's get these on the tree."

~

Sitting back against Darren's chest while on his lap, head resting on his shoulder, Chris sighs as Darren gently kisses and nips at the skin of his neck.  The moment his mom left with Hannah to do some Christmas shopping, he climbed into his car and drove over to Darren's house.  It's close to two hours later, and they are catching their breath after kissing like it was longer than a day since last seeing each other.  That, plus it's been too long since they could kiss for hours in end without worry of being caught.  "Why isn't your Christmas tree decorated?"  He looks to medium sized tree sitting in the corner of Darren's living room with just a string of lights wrapped around it.

It looks pathetic and ugly.  The lights barely give it any life or flare that a Christmas tree should have.  Chris knows Darren could do much better than what he has.

"I don't know."  Chris feels as Darren stops kissing him and rests his chin on his shoulder, gazing at the tree.  "Guess I was too lazy to pull out the ornaments."

"You should decorate it," Chris tells him.

Turning his head to look at Darren, seeing the colorful lights reflected in his eyes, he smiles at how beautiful he is.  He's always thought Darren was beautiful; he isn't blind.

It's in that moment, sitting on Darren's lap, staring into his illuminated eyes, that Chris knows for sure he's in love with this man.  He thought he loved him before, when he only knew Darren as his teacher; but this is different from that.  These last several months of really getting to know Darren, having him be there through the tough times, and being one of the main reasons for the great, he has fallen head over heels.  The difference from how he loves Darren now, to how he did before, is how much more real it is.  This isn't love based on a person he barely knows, this is a love for a person he knows; it's for someone who makes him feel happy and safe and complete.  He's in love.

But he knows he won't say anything. It would be too soon for him to truly say it to Darren since the last time when he made a fool of himself.  He decides to keep the realization close to his chest; hide--for now--how he feels

"Want to help me?"  Darren's voice breaks Chris out of the stupor he is in.

Minutely shaking his head, and blinking his eyes to clear his mind, he releases a breath to calm himself.  Realizing what Darren asks him, he nods his head as he replies with a quiet, "Yeah."

"You okay?"  Darren asks with worry to his voice.

"Yeah."  Chris nods his head and smiles.  "I'm great."  Leaning into Darren, wrapping a hand around his neck, he kisses him.  It's a languorous kiss that is deep and gentle.  Pulling up from the kiss, breathing, and smiling against Darren's lips, Chris feels his heart soar in his chest.  "Come on," he says as he stands, "let's get those decorations."

Holding Darren's hand as they go into the garage, going for the unopened boxes stacked on shelves, Chris scans them and sees they are from when Darren must have moved back.  Seeing some labeled kitchen, and others bathroom, and a few bedroom.  "Did you even try unpacking?" he jokes as he pulls down a box and sets it on the floor.

"It's a rental house," Darren tries to defend as he stacks boxes labeled kitchen on the floor.

"That's not an excuse."  Chris pushes a box out of the way and sees the one behind it is labeled Christmas.  He grabs for it.  "Just because you temporarily live here doesn't mean you can't make it comfortable."

"It's comfortable enough for me," Darren replies as he places his hands on Chris' waist to hold and steady him.  "It's not a permanent living situation, so I saw no need to unpack everything I own."

Hands on the box, a heat flaring in his belly at Darren's touch, Chris steps back and sets the box on the floor next to the others.  "It does explain why you barely have anything in your kitchen.  It's all in your garage."  Kneeling down and sitting back on his heels, Chris opens the box.

"I have stuff in there," Darren says as he sets another box labeled Christmas on the floor.  Sitting down across from Chris, he opens the box. "It's the necessities."

"Dare," Chris gives him a amused look as he arches an eyebrow, "you have like three cups, some silverware, cookware, and paper plates.  If I wanted to make you cookies here, I would have to dig through boxes first to get things I would need."

"You want to make me cookies here?"  Darren beams at him.

"I said if I wanted to make cookies," Chris corrects him, smirking as he sorts through the decorations in the box.  "But, obviously, I wouldn't be able to, because somebody doesn't want to unpack."

"They're just boxes with stuff, Chris."

"The stuff is important, though."

"No," Darren shakes his head, "it's not."

"What is, then?"  Chris stops rummaging in the box, staring at Darren for a reply.

"You."

A deep blush stains Chris' cheeks; he bites his lower lip to fight the smile wanting to spread across his face.  "How could I ever hate you after you say something like that?"

"Then don't."

"I won't."

"Come on," Darren says as he stands with a box in his arms.  "I think these two will suffice for our tree decorating."

Standing up with a box in his arms, Chris hefts it up some and follows Darren back to his living room.  Setting the box on the floor by the tree, he reaches inside and grabs the bundle of red tinsel.  Untangling it, he wraps it around Darren's neck and brings him in for a kiss.  For several moments, they both forget what they are doing and get lost in kissing each other.

Darren pulls back to catch his breath a few minutes later, resting his forehead to Chris'.  "How about we forgo the decorating and just make out?"

"Although that sounds very tempting," Chris says as he pulls back and grins.  "We're decorating this tree."

"Please."  Darren exaggeratedly sighs, pouting and adding emphasis on his big, pleading eyes.  Chris smiles at how much he looks like a kid begging for a puppy, softly moaning when Darren brushes his lips over his slightly parted ones.  "Haven't kissed you enough."

"Oh," Chris laughs against Darren's mouth.  "Yes, you have!  Decorate this tree with me, and I'll make out with you for an hour afterwards."

"Deal."  Darren grins, looking excited and happy and getting what he wants.

"I can't believe you're the adult right now," Chris teases as he lets go of the tinsel he holds and reaches for some ornaments from the box.

"I may be an adult, but that doesn't mean I always have to act like one."  Darren grins as he arches an eyebrow and playfully sticks his tongue out at Chris.

"Okay," Chris laughs.

An hour later, hanging another glass ornament, Chris grabs his phone from his pocket when it rings.  Hitting answer without looking, he brings it up to his ear.  "Hello?" he says in greeting.  Grabbing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles designed ornament, he gives Darren a look that says _"Really?"_

Darren just shrugs his shoulders and grins.

"Hey, Chris," Linden immediately says in reply.  "I'm on my way over.  I was thinking we could do something.  I'm by myse-"

Chris tunes out after that.  With Linden heading to his house, he knows he has to do something before she gets there and finds him gone.  If she happens to arrive with him nowhere in sight, he knows there will be questions he can't answer honestly.

"No!" he slightly screams.  "No," he says more calmly this time.  "I'm not at home.  I'll meet up with you at the mall.  Okay?"

"Where are you?"  Linden curiously asks.  "You're mom said you'd be at home."

"I...I can't tell you."  Chris starts to panic a little.  Arms wrap around him and Darren softly whispers in his ear that it's okay.  Calming down and breathing, he realizes there's no need to worry.

"Why can't you tell me?  Are you buying me my Christmas present?"  Linden excitedly asks.

Sighing with relief, he mentally thanks Linden for giving him the out he needs.  "Yeah...Yes, I'm shopping for your present."  He hears Darren quietly chuckle as he buries his face in the curve of his neck.  Planting a hand on Darren's chest and clutching at his shirt, he fights to keep from making any kind of noise as Darren gently kisses and nips at the skin right below his ear where he's sensitive.  Playfully glaring at him, and mouthing at him to stop, Chris smiles when Darren bites his lip and laughs.

"Yay!"  Linden quietly exclaims.  "I'll let you continue shopping, then."

"Alright."  Chris sighs at getting out of what would have been a sticky situation.  "I'll call you later.  Bye, Lin."

"Bye."

"Oh, God," Chris groans as he hangs up and drops his head to Darren's chest.  Arms wrap around him and pull him closer.  Looking up at Darren, he asks, "What do I buy a seventeen year old girl for Christmas?"

"How should I know?"  Darren shrugs his shoulders.  "I just teach them.  I don't know what they like.  What does she like?"

"She likes to read.  Of course she loves music," Chris replies.

"Buy her tickets to a concert," Darren says before Chris can continue.

Chris lifts his head and kisses Darren long and hard.  He pulls back with a huge smile on his face and relief in his eyes.  "That's perfect!  I knew I kept you around for a reason."

"Duh!"  Darren chuckles as he lifts Chris up.  Chris wraps his legs around Darren's waist as he takes the few steps to the couch.  "Now," Darren says as he sits down.  "I do believe you promised me something."

"I believe I did."  Chris leans in and slowly starts to kiss his way up Darren's neck.  "What was that again?" he mumbles against Darren's jaw, pretending to be in the dark over what Darren wants.

“A kiss,” Darren answers.

“A kiss?!”  Chris asks surprised as he smiles at Darren.  Leaning in, he barely brushes his lips over Darren’s.  “I think you might be right.”

Softly pressing his mouth to Darren’s, flicking his tongue over Darren’s top lip, Chris faintly moans when Darren pulls him in for a hungry, desperate kiss.  Parting his lips and letting Darren delve his tongue into his mouth and massage their tongues together.  Wrapping an arm around Darren’s neck and deepening the kiss, letting it become a little bit rougher, Chris groans.  Even though he said an hour, he already knows this will last longer than that.  He can never get enough of kissing Darren.

 


	6. Chapter 6

It's two weeks after Christmas, and Chris has a crazy idea that he wants to tell Darren about.  Going up to Darren's desk after the bell rings, hearing Linden tell him she'll see him at lunch, he waves to her and stops in front of Darren.  "What are you doing tomorrow?"  He looks to the door to see the last student walking away.

"Um...Nothing important."  Darren shuffles and stacks papers.  "Why?"

"Can I stay the night?"

"What?!"  The look Darren gives him makes Chris let out a small laugh.

"I told my mom I was going to check out UCLA again.  But I don't need to.  I already applied there," Chris explains to him.  "So, that leaves me a free night to spend with you.  If you want.  You don't have to; I can go over to Linden's place."

"Um...Can I think about it for the day?"

"Sure."  Chris nods his head, smiling.

"Alright."  Darren huffs.  "I'll talk to you later."

"Later.  Bye, Dare," Chris says before turning on his heel and walking away.

For the rest of the school day Chris doesn't think about it.  He knows Darren will debate the good and bad of the decision and choose what he wants, and thinks is right.  It's so simple; all he's doing is asking to stay his first night with his boyfriend.  But considering his boyfriend is also his English teacher whom he's secretly dating makes it a big deal.

Although, he wants Darren to say yes, he will support whatever decision he makes.

By the time the last bell is ringing, Chris grabs his stuff and heads to Darren's classroom.  Finding him wiping away what's written on the dry-erase board, not having noticed him yet.  Lightly rapping on the door with his knuckles, Chris smiles when Darren turns his attention to him.  "Hi," he says.

"Hi," Darren repeats, returning his smile.

Chris watches as he fidgets with the eraser in his hand, a look on his face as if debating something.  "You can say no," he assures him as he walks into the room, knowing what he's worried about.

"No.  It's not that."  Darren shakes his head.  "I...I'm just worried that something might happen that night."

Closing as much space as he can between Darren and he, standing far away enough that it won't raise eyebrows if someone comes in, Chris clutches at the strap of his bag to keep from reaching out to Darren.  "You can put pillows between us if you want.  Hell, I'll even sleep on the couch," he jokes, hearing Darren laugh.  "I promise I won't do anything.  I promise nothing will happen that you don't want to."

"You have to swear."

"I swear I won't do or try anything."  Chris internally dances and celebrates at getting to stay with Darren.  "You have my word."

"Alright.  So, what time should I expect you?"

"A little past eight."  Chris notices Darren's eyes widen a bit with surprise at his answer.  "I told my mom I was leaving early to get there early and really explore the campus again," he explains.  "Is that fine?  Me coming over that early?"

"Yeah.  Yeah."  Darren nods his head.  "That gives us a whole day together.  Kind of excited now."

"Good," Chris cheerfully says.  "I'll even make you cookies."

"Cookies."  Darren grins and arches an eyebrow, looking excited.  "You should have lead with that.  I would have said yes in a heartbeat."

"You're crazy," Chris teases as he laughs.  "I have to go.  But...I'll see you tomorrow."

"Definitely."

~

"Bye, mom!"  Chris calls out as he opens the front door and walks out.  He hears her yell a bye and be safe in return.

Forty-five minutes later Darren is closing his garage door after he parks inside.  Climbing out of the car, and going up to him, Chris smiles into the kiss Darren gives him when he leans over, he reaches up and runs his thumb along Darren's bottom lip when he pulls away.

"I bought donuts and orange juice."  He hands Darren the small box of donuts and a small bottle of orange juice.

"Is this why you're late?"  Darren grabs a donut and takes a big bite.

"I'm not late."  Chris reaches over and grabs a donut for himself from the box that Darren holds.

"You're fifteen minutes late," Darren tells him around the food in his mouth.

"Fine.  I'll be on time from now on and never bring you breakfast."

"No.  Not the breakfast."  Darren holds a hand to his chest and pretends to be upset.

Smiling and shaking his head, Chris sighs into kiss Darren gives him, the taste of sweet glaze on his lips sensual, and somehow sexy.

"I don't care that you're late."  Darren pulls away and licks his lips.  "And thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome."

"Come on."  Darren takes his hand and pulls him into the house.  "We have a day to ourselves to spend together."

Several hours--and one grocery trip by Darren--later, Chris mixes ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies.  Darren has his arms wrapped around his waist and chin hooked over his shoulder.  He would be easy to ignore except for the fact that keeps placing a trail of kisses along his neck.  Kisses that are distracting in the best way possible.  It's making it hard to continue mixing the cookie dough when all he wants to do is turn in Darren's arms and kiss him.

"Stop!"  Chris tries to say in a demanding tone, but it comes out sweet as he laughs.

"Sorry," Darren murmurs against his ear.  "I'll stop."

For several moments it does stop.  Chris goes back to fully focusing on making cookies.  But after a few minutes a small moan falls from his lips when Darren takes his earlobe into his mouth and lightly sucks on it.  Closing his eyes when Darren starts to gently nibble and bite and kiss at the skin beneath his ear, reaching behind him to clutch at Darren’s hip, Chris completely forgets about the cookie mix and turns around.

Capturing Darren’s mouth in a hungry kiss, delving his tongue past his lips, Chris softly whimpers as Darren gently massages their tongues together.  A small scream escapes his mouth when Darren lifts him up and sets him on the counter.  “I have flour and sugar on my ass now!”  Laughing as he leans forward and kisses Darren again, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, Chris brings him close to his body.  Darren now stands between his legs and has his hands on his hips.

“Sorry,” Darren chuckles against his lips.

“No, you’re not,” Chris replies as he flicks his tongue over Darren’s upper lip.  “Now,” he lightly bites down on Darren’s lower lip, “let me down so I can finish making these cookies.”

“Okay.”  Darren takes a step back so Chris can hop down off the counter.  “You hungry?”

“Yeah.”  Chris swats Darren’s hand away when he starts to help him wipe away the flour and sugar on his jeans.  Of course, for Darren, helping is just grabbing at his ass and giving it a squeeze.

“Pizza later?”

“Sure.”

Going back to making his cookies, Chris grins at how amazing this day is going.

~

With one of his legs hooked over Darren's hip as they lie on the couch making out a few hours later, moaning as Darren gently grabs at his ass, Chris slips his hand under Darren's shirt.  Splaying his fingers over Darren's lower stomach, sliding his hand over to his back, he strokes his thumb over smooth, warm skin.

How they ended up making out on the couch is because of Darren.  After  managing to eat most of the cookies he made, Darren pulled him close and kissed him like it was the last time he would be doing that.  He followed Darren as he made his way to the couch.  Laughing as he fell back on it, Chris laid down and welcomed when Darren laid down next to him.  Pressing their bodies close together, they continued what they were doing.

There’s an underlying hint of sugar and chocolate on Darren’s lips and tongue.  It’s incredibly hot.  Chris seeks out and chases that taste as he pushes his tongue into Darren’s mouth.  He’s not entirely sure how long they’ve been lying here making out, but he does know he could spend forever doing this and never tire of it.

"Pizza's here," Darren announces as he pulls back when there’s a knock on his front door; Chris instantly misses his lips pressed to his.  "I'll be back in a sec."

"Alright."  Turning to lie on his stomach, scooting up to cross his arms on the armrest, resting his chin on his arms, he watches Darren grab his wallet and walk to the front door. Swaying his crossed ankles back and forth behind him, wanting Darren to hurry up and get back to him so he can continue kissing him, Chris just lies there and tries to be patient.

"Hello."  Hearing Darren say that as he opens the door and opens his wallet, Chris is just as shocked by what he hears next.  "Bren?!"

"Hey, Mr. Criss."  Chris hears Bren, his classmate, cheerfully reply.

Freezing at hearing him, and thankful he can't be seen, he listens in his and Darren's conversation.

"I didn't know you worked at Domino's."

"Just started.  Trying to save some extra cash for college," Bren replies as Chris hears the sound of Velcro being pulled apart.  "One pepperoni with pineapple on half."

"Thanks."  Chris wonders how nervous Darren looks.  But he's surprised by how calm and collected he sounds.  "Keep the change."

"Thanks, Mr. Criss."

Hearing the door shut, Chris sits up when he sees Darren walk back into the living room.  He notices how pale he looks, as if all the blood has drained from his face.  His hands clutch the pizza box he holds, and he also sees how tense Darren now looks.

"Are you okay?"  Chris quietly mumbles as he pats the spot next to him on the couch.

"Just a little scared," Darren replies as he sits down.  "What if you had answered the door?"

"But I didn't."  They both know better than to have him answer Darren's door.  Reaching over and grabbing the pizza box, placing it on the couch next to Darren, Chris moves to sit on his lap.  Draping his arms over Darren's shoulders, and gently nudging their noses together, he places a tender kiss to his lips.  "It's okay, Dare," he whispers against Darren's lips.  Sitting on his lap, Chris can feel the tension in his body.  What just happened scared him good.  But he doesn't want Darren to be too worried or nervous.  "We're still good."

For a few minutes, Darren doesn't say anything.  He has a faraway look in his eyes, and looks lost in thought.  For a few moments it's complete silence between them two.  Every breath is heard; Chris swears he can hear Darren's heart still hammering in his chest.  "What am I doing, Chris?"  Darren, finally, quietly murmurs, looking into Chris' eyes.

He sees it.  It's clear as day in his eyes like words in a book for him to read.  There's worry and doubt and fear, and something Chris wished he never saw: regret.  "What are you saying, Darren?"  Chris can hear the hurt creeping into his voice.

"I don't know.  Maybe...Maybe this was a mistake."

"That...That's not funny, Darren."  Chris nervously chuckles, praying this isn't going where he thinks it is.  It can't go there.  It's too good to go there.  "Don't make a joke of this."

Darren looks at him with a seriousness that terrifies him further.  "I'm not joking, Chris.  I...We shouldn't be doing this."

Climbing off Darren's lap, trying to breathe, and stop his mind from wildly running with thoughts, Chris stands in front of Darren.  "What are you saying?"

"I don't know.  I can't think properly right now.  My mind is a mess of questions."  Darren stands up and takes a step towards Chris.

Stepping back before Darren can touch him, wrapping his arms tightly around his body, as if protecting himself, Chris doesn't fight the tears that fill his eyes.  Staring into Darren's eyes as he feels his heart shatter like glass, knowing there's nothing that will make it better.  "What kind of questions?"  He has to ask him; he needs to know, to be sure, what Darren is currently thinking.

"If I should have started this?  If it's smart to continue?"  Darren pauses for a few long heartbeats, shamefully staring down at his shoes.  After what seems like eternity, he finally looks back up into Chris' eyes and says, "If it's worth it?"

Those four words unhinge Chris.  It feels like an unexpected rain during a perfect day.  He never planned for this.  Hell, he never thought it would happen.  It’s crazy how quickly this day turned from perfect to the worst thing to happen to him in months.  A mixture of anger and hurt flooding him, Chris doesn't know what to do.  He's confused.  Nothing is making sense.

"Are...Are you breaking up with me?"  To even say the words out loud hurts.  He wants nothing more for this to be a terrible joke.  But by the look in Darren's eyes, he knows it's not.  "Oh.  O-Okay."  Nodding his head, biting his lower lip, tears welling in his eyes, Chris can't believe this is happening. 

He can't stay here.  To stay here would only bring more hurt that he can't deal with.  It's best to just leave and be alone for awhile.  "I...I have to go," he mumbles as he goes to grab his shoes.  Pulling them on, and then putting on his jacket, Chris wipes away tears that roll down his cheeks.

"Chris," Darren softly says as he comes up and stands next to him.  "I'm sorry."

"Don't say anything.  It's making it worse."  Walking to the kitchen and grabbing his keys from the breakfast bar, Chris heads for the door that leads to the garage, forcefully hitting the button to open the garage door.

"I'm sorry," Darren apologizes, again, sounding upset over where things have gone.  "Don't go, Chris.  It's raining and ugly outside; you shouldn't drive in this weather."

"I can't stay here."  Chris stops by his driver's side door and looks at Darren.  "I...I can't look at you without wanting to hit you."

"Chris," Darren sighs.

"Goodbye, Mr. Criss."  It's the only way Chris knows how to hurt Darren.  He calls him the one name he hates to be heard from him.  And staring into his eyes, Chris knows he's accomplished his goal of making him upset.

Climbing into his car, he starts it and drives away.  He can't help but to think how much this is like the last day of school the year before.

~

He slowly wakes up in an unfamiliar room as a beeping noise reaches his ears.  Throat dry as he swallows, aches throughout his body, Chris slowly sits up.  "M-Mom?" he calls out with his scratchy voice when he sees her sitting in a chair in the room he's in.

"Oh, sweetie!" his mom exclaims as she sits up quickly comes over to his side and fiercely hugs him, causing a pain to shoot through his body.

Wincing away the slightest from her touch, telling her he's fine when she apologizes, Chris takes a look around and realizes he's in a hospital room.  Glancing down at himself, assessing his body, he finds a cast on his left arm, and experiences pain in his sides.  "What...What happened?"  Swallowing again, he realizes he could go for a big drink of water.

"You don't remember, sweetie?" his mom pushes his hair back as she happily smiles at him, relief obvious in her eyes.

Trying his hardest to remember why he's here, Chris comes up blank after a certain point.  Standing in front of his flat tire, cold rain falling down around him, beyond angry and upset, he can't recall how he ended up here.  "I only remember up to changing my tire.  After, it's all black."  Licking his lips, he finds himself tasting dried blood where his tongue runs over where his lip split.

"Well, you got hit by a car; more like nicked, actually.  Thank god they were going so slow."  Chris sees a brief glimpse of worry and dread in his mom's eyes as she considers how much more worse this all could have been.  "You broke your wrist, a few bruised ribs, and bruises all over."

"Oh.  That sucks."  It's not too bad.  He can deal with a broken wrist.  Lifting his left arm, looking at the plain white cast, he already knows Linden will be drawing all over it.  “But hit or nicked, my body sure is hurting,” he jokes as he tries to get comfortable on the bed without experiencing too much pain, wincing when it shoots through him anyways.

"They just gave you some pain killers.  Sweetie," his mom says in a soothing tone, getting his attention.  "Why are here?  I thought you went to see that school?"

"Where's Hannah?"  He tries to change the subject.  He can't tell her he was seeing his boyfriend who broke up with him, causing him to leave his house and end up here.  Right now, he just wants easy.

Looking to where his mom points, Chris finds his sister asleep on the couch in the room.  "She was really tired and passed out a few hours ago."

"I'm thirsty."  Watching his mom stand up and pour him some water from the plastic pitcher that sits on the table by his bed, he takes it when she offers it to him.  "Thanks, Mom."  He finishes it in one long drink.

"No problem."  His mom sits down on the edge of his bed, placing a hand on his leg.

For a few moments, they both sit in silence.  Chris knows he should say something about why he's here and not at UCLA.  But he doesn't know what to say without giving too much away.  So, he decides to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Mom."  Chris covers his mom's hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Why're you apologizing, sweetie?"  His mom gives him a confused look.

"For lying about UCLA," Chris explains.  "For making you worry."

"It's okay," his mom sighs, smiling at him.  She leans in and presses a kiss to his forehead.  "As long as you're safe, I'll forgive you.  Maybe one day you'll tell me the truth."

"Maybe," Chris says under his breath.  The truth about why he is here, though, is not something he wants to think about right now.

Feeling tired, eyes heavy, Chris lies his head back against the pillow and yawns.  He figures some medicine he was given must be kicking in.

"Go back to sleep," his mom tells him. "I'll call Linden in the morning and have her stop by."

"Okay," he sleepily agrees.  "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, sweetie," his mom tells him.

A few seconds later, he succumbs to the tiredness that quickly takes over.

~

"Knock.  Knock."

"Linden!"  Chris excitedly says when he hears his best friend's voice.

"At least it's not your right wrist," Linden jokes as she makes a jerking off gesture with her right hand as she stands in the doorway.

"Thanks for having my best interest at heart, Lin."  Chris laughs as he shakes his head, glad to have Linden here to cheer him up.

Making room when Linden walks over and lies down in bed with him, curling into him, tucking her head under his chin, Chris twirls strands of her hair around his finger.

"Don't do that to me again, Chris," she quietly whispers with a shaky voice, sounding broken up over what happened, instantly turning the room somber.  "I was so scared something terrible happened when your mom called me and said you were in the hospital."

"I got hit by a car, Lin!  That is terrible."  Chris laughs.  He has to laugh and joke about this, because inside he's still broken up and hurting over what Darren did.

"I know.  But..."  Linden trails off, trying to find the right words.  "You're my best friend.  I can't lose you."

"You won't."  Chris holds her close and presses a kiss to the top of her head.  He feels a bit guilty for putting Linden through something like this.  He never intended for any of this to happen.  "We'll be old, wrinkly best friends that will die on the same day."

"Promise?"  Linden looks up at him and grins.

"Promise," Chris agrees with a small giggle.

"Hey, Linden.  How are you, sweetie?"  Looking when he hears his mom, Chris sees her walking into the room.

"Good."  Linden rests her head on Chris' shoulder.  "Making this idiot promise we'll be friends until we grow old together."

Chris squirms away when Linden pokes him in his side.  "Hey.  Those ribs are bruised.  Be kind."

"You deserve it for worrying me."  Linden laughs.

“I’m headed to the cafeteria.  Do either of you want anything?”

Chris looks to his mom.  “Get me a coke.  Linden wants a Sprite.”

“No, I don’t,” Linden says, sounding confused.

“Yes, you do.  After you see me with my drink, you’ll want some, and I don’t want to share.”  Ignoring Linden’s huff, Chris grins and tells his mom thanks.

“You two,” his mom offhandedly comments with a smile and small shake of her head before walking away.

Lying there in silence with Linden after his mom leaves, Chris thinks about what his mom told him that day on the porch during Thanksgiving.  He understands why his mom thought that.  Spend some time around them two, and you would quickly see how perfect they would be for each other.  But he knows he could never love Linden like that.  As a sister, yes.  But as more than just a friend, no.  Linden is his best friend, and nothing more.  Besides, he knows who he loves, and nothing will change that; even a broken heart because of that person.

"When do you leave?"  Linden asks as she turns to lie on her back, turning her head to look at Chris.

Chris looks at her and smiles.  "They want me to stay for a few more days just in case anything happens.  So, most likely some time Tuesday."

"Want me to get your homework for you?"

"Yeah, thanks. Can you do something else?" he asks her.

"Sure.  What?"

Chris grins at her.  "See how bad the rumor about me is going to be at school."

Linden grins back at him.  "Deal."

~

"...and Johanna was trying to say she saw the whole thing."  Linden sits cross-legged in front of him on the hospital bed drawing on his cast as she goes on about the rumors she heard about him in school.  She's, actually, cutting class by being here with him; but he doesn't mind.  He enjoys the company.  Chris laughs when she huffs and rolls her eyes.  "She's fucking pathetic."

"Claws away," Chris teases, ignoring when Linden playfully glares at him.  "Did you bring my homework?"

"Yeah."  Linden caps her marker and climbs off the bed.  Chris watches as she grabs her bag from the chair she dropped it on when she came in.  "It's only three assignments," she says as she pulls papers from her bag and hands them over.

"Thanks."  Taking his homework, Chris sets it on the table next to his bed.  "That's all?"

"Mr. Criss told me to tell you to make sure you read up to chapter ten in the book."  Linden looks in her bag searching for something.  "Sorry," she apologizes.  "I don't have my copy."

"It's fine."  Chris shrugs his shoulders.  "I'll read it tomorrow after I get home.  Plus, that's only a chapter for me."

"He, also, told me to tell you that he's really sorry about what happened."

Chris forces himself to smile and say that's nice.  But on the inside, he falls apart all over again.

He needs to stop thinking about it.  Thoughts of Darren need to leave his head for a few hours.  He needs to numb himself from the constant pain he's been feeling since he left Darren's house.  So, he focuses on his best friend who is here now to give him company.

"Lin, what the hell did you draw?"  Chris laughs as he takes a look at the picture now adorning his cast.

"It's you."  Linden settles next to him on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder after he drapes his arm around her.  She points to a stick figure with something that looks like his hair.  "This is your prince."  She points to a stick figure next to him holding a sword and shield.  "And this is the dragon he's protecting you from."  The dragon is unlike the stick figures.  It's intricately designed and colored, breathing fire.  Leave it to Linden to draw an amazing design on his cast.  "He's rescuing you."

"Why do I need to be rescued?  I can do it on my own."  Chris playfully complains, watching as Linden grabs a marker again.

"Fine.  Here," she lifts his arm and draws on his cast, "now you two can rescue each other."

Looking at what she added, Chris finds his stick figure now holding a sword and shield.  He likes it.  "That's better."

"I'm glad I could please you."  Linden joyfully smiles.

"Thanks, Lin."

"No problem."

~

Slowly waking up from a nap a few hours later, seeing it's dark outside, Chris tries to figure out what it is that roused him.  Looking around and seeing his mom and sister are gone, he guesses it to be a nurse checking in on him.

"Chris?"

Hearing Darren softly say his name, Chris instantly closes his eyes and bites back tears.  He wonders if this is a bad dream.  Maybe he'll wake up and it won't be true.  Maybe he can wake up and not have the man who's broken his heart twice saying his name.

But he knows the truth.  This isn't a dream.  This isn't something he can wake up from.  This is something he can't deal with right now.  He can't see Darren right now.  If he does, he's scared of what he might do or say.  He has to get him to leave.

"Go away."

"Chris," Darren says more eagerly, sounding a bit desperate.

"Go away, Darren," Chris tells him, refusing to look at him.  "I don't want you here."

"Please."

"Please, just...Go!"  Chris says it in a demanding, loud tone, hoping Darren listens.

"Okay.  Bye, Chris."

Burying his face in his pillow after Darren leaves, Chris cries for hours until he’s emotionally spent and exhausted and falls asleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

The bad thing about going to school after getting nicked--although everyone else says hit--by a car, is knowing everybody is talking about you.  All eyes are on him like he's a walking exhibit.  Everybody has to get a look at the kid that got hit by a car.  Things are whispered as he passes by, and behind his back.  _'There he is.'_   _'Oh, man!  I can't believe it.'_   It's annoying.  Knowing that people are staring and talking about him makes him uncomfortable.  It makes him wish he listened to his mom and stayed home for another day.

The idea that he could be alone at home binging on cereal while sitting on the sofa watching crappy cartoons sounds wonderful.  The only reason he said no was because he knew he would have to face everybody sooner or later.  Including Darren.  It'll hurt to see him, but he'd rather get it over with; rip the band-aid away in one clean swipe.  Best not to let it linger; to put it off for later.  Because putting something off only makes it worse when you finally face it.

Stopping in front of his locker, hearing people talking about him, Chris is almost tempted to yell something to everybody.  A good "Oh, my fucking, God!  Yes, I got hit by a fucking car!" would be great.  But getting suspended isn't something he wants.  Plus, it wouldn't go over well with his mom.

"How you doing?"  Linden asks as she steps up beside him, leaning back against the row of lockers.

"I feel like a tiger in the zoo.  People keep staring at me; whispering like I can't hear."  Flinging open his locker, Chris grabs his textbook he'll need.

"It'll pass," Linden assures him.  "All things do."

"Hopefully soon," Chris grumbles.  "I don't like being the cover story for their gossiping."

"You'll be old news by next week.  By then, Johanna will have moved on to something else.  God knows that girl is like a bee looking for pollen.  She'll find a new flower to entertain her."  Linden huffs and rolls her eyes as she talks about Johanna, making Chris laugh.

"You really don't like that girl, do you?"  Chris chuckles as he puts his book in his bag.

"Why should I?  She's a bitch," Linden answers with disgust as she turns to face Chris, stepping closer to him.  "Remember when she started that rumor that I was a lesbian."

"I do," Chris says as he starts to laugh.  "Then you got back at her by full on kissing her, and said, and I quote _'We were supposed to be a secret.'_ "

"That shut her up quick; took back the rumor."  Linden smiles, enjoying reliving that memory of embarrassing Johanna.  But when she talks again, it's with a softer, calmer voice.  "Are you really okay, Chris?  You've seemed really down these past days; and not over the accident."

Chris hates how well Linden knows him.  It seems being friends for nine years means Linden can read him like a book; can see through his bullshit.  "It's nothing important," he lies, knowing he can't tell her.  "I can deal with it on my own."

"Are you sure?" she asks as he grabs the fingers of his cast arm.  "You can tell me anything."

"I know.  But...I want to be alone on this one."  Chris smiles at her to get her to drop the subject.  Over her shoulder, he sees Matthew walking towards them.  "Your boyfriend is here."

"Hey, Chris," Matthew says as he walks up to Linden, wrapping an arm around her waist.  "You okay?"

He doesn't hear the question.  His mind is focused on how Matthew is touching Linden.  It's a simple touch; an arm around her waist.  But it has him thinking about how Darren would wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close.  Thoughts of Darren holding him close in the safety of his kitchen placing tender kisses to his mouth flood his mind.  And it hurts.  There's an ache in his chest with every hard beat of his heart.  His heart feels heavy and empty all at once.  It's like it carries the weight of the heartbreak, and then carries nothing with Darren gone.

It all feels wrong.  He needs it to go back to how it was before.  It's needs to be happiness and love, not aches and pain.  It's not right.

"I'm sorry," he quietly apologizes as he shakes his head, coming back to himself.  "What did you say?"

"You okay?"  Matthew repeats.  Chris notices the worried looks that both he and Linden wear as they stare at him.

He wants to break down crying that he's not okay.  That he's far from it.  He wants to take up Linden's offer of being able to tell her anything, and tell her that his heart is broken and he doesn't know how to go on living without the person he loves.  The secret of what Darren and he were is so heavy on his tongue; he wants to let it go like a weight.  To say it out loud would be relieving; because he knows Linden would embrace and comfort him.  She would tell him that it's okay, and that it's not the end of the world.  She would say that Darren was a dumbass for giving up someone as great as him.  She would know how to make it a bit easier for him.

It would all be so easy.  It'd be so simple to lay himself bare of everything that's gone on the last few months.  But he can't.  He won't do that to Darren.  To get him in that kind of trouble would kill him; would make him hate himself.

So he knows he has to continue and carry the weight of the secret he holds; of the broken heart he has.  He has to go on pretending everything is peachy keen in front of everyone.

"Yeah," he lies as he forces a cheery, fake smile.  "I'm great.  Just a little loopy from the pain meds, I guess."

There's relief when Matthew and Linden easily buy the lie he sold.

"Good," Linden says as she turns in Matthew's embrace.  "We have to go. See you at lunch?"

Matthew nods his head.  Chris watches as Linden stands up on her tippy toes to kiss Matthew, smile spreading across both their faces.

He's never hated Linden.  That's his best friend in the whole entire world.  He would do anything for her.  But at this moment, he hates her a little.  And it's not a hate where he'll never talk to her again.  It's more like a hate where he envies her.  He hates that she still has Matthew.  That she has someone she can still kiss and hold.  That she's in a relationship that she can share with the world.  That's why he envies her.

It's what he wants back.  Holding Darren and kissing him is all he wants.  He can get over the not being able to reveal their relationship for the time being thing.  As long as he had him back, everything would be okay.

But it's not okay.  Because right now he stands in the hall single as he watches his best friend kiss her boyfriend goodbye.  And he wants to cry.

Turning on his heel and walking away, having enough of the scene, he heads to class.  Darren stands behind his desk when he walks into his classroom.  When he first sees him, Chris feels his heart break.  Closing his eyes and pulling in a deep breath, he composes himself; tries to tell himself that he can do this.  He can sit in Darren's classroom without wanting to cry or yell at him.  He can do this.  He can be strong enough to face Darren.

The moment Darren looks to him, Chris can see how terrible he looks.  There's bags under his eyes like he's barely slept at all.

"Chris," Darren whispers as he takes a step to him, but then remembering where he is and what he did.  "Chris," he says louder this time.  "I...I heard what happened.  How are you?"

There's a dozen different answers he could give.  He could say it feels like the world has collapsed around him and he can’t breathe anymore.  He could say he thought he knew pain and heartache, but what he feels now is nothing compared to before.  There are many different things he could say, but he doesn’t.  Instead, he offers Darren a simple answer with no kind of emotion behind his words.  "I'm fine, Mr. Criss."  Ducking his head, quickly wiping away the tear at the corner of his eye, Chris walks to his seat in the back of the room.

Backpack dropped on top of the desk, and taking his seat, he focuses his attention on his cast and not Darren.  Pulling a green sharpie from his bag, he starts to color in the grass of Linden's drawing.  It holds his attention through the class.

When the bell rings, signaling the end of class, Chris stands and quickly tries to leave.

"Wait, Chris!"  Darren calls out and stops him before he can make his quick exit.

Stopping and turning to face him, he speaks with a monotonous voice.  "Yes?"  In Darren's eyes Chris can see an array of emotions.  The stunning hazel eyes usually filled with warmth and happiness now stare at him with a blankness; no kind of light to them like before.  It doesn't take a genius to know why.

Knowing that, knowing Darren is as just broken up over this is as him makes Chris a bit better; makes him a little happy.  Besides, why should he be the only one suffering right now?

"It's Wednesday," Darren points out as he takes a tentative step to Chris.

Chris takes a step back.  "And?"

"It's your choice to show up here during lunch."  It's only after Darren says that does he remember that they were supposed to resume their weekly Wednesday lunches together. But after everything, he understands why Darren is giving him a choice.  "I won't mind either way," Darren adds, although Chris can see it in his eyes he hopes for him to show.

"Alright."  Nodding his head, turning on his heel, he leaves the room.

Making it to his next class and taking his seat, Chris drops his head in his hand and breathes.  He already knows what he's going to do about lunch.  He can't be alone with Darren right now.  If he is, there's no saying what might happen.

As he tries to clear his mind of thoughts of lunch and Darren, someone loudly clearing their throat gets his attention.  Lifting his head, he inwardly groans when he finds Johanna standing at his desk.  "Hey, Jo," he quietly mumbles as he sits back in his seat.

"I heard what happened," she says in a soft, comforting voice as she takes a seat at the desk across from him.  "It's good to see you're okay."

"Thanks," Chris murmurs, not really wanting to deal with Johanna right now.

"Who drew this for you?"  Johanna asks as she reaches out and grabs his arm, twisting it as she takes a look at the picture on his cast.

"Linden," he replies as he yanks his arm away, not enjoying the pain Johanna was unknowingly causing.

"That girl," Johanna says with a small laugh, though Chris can hear the ice to her voice, and sees her eyes get a bit dark.  "I can't believe Matthew is with her," Linden says with an air of superiority, like she's better than Linden.  Like she's the one Matthew is supposed to be with.  "I don't see what he sees in her."

Chris has so many replies to that.  But he bites his tongue and keeps quiet; no need to get in trouble because of Johanna.  Crossing his arms on top of his desk and resting his head on them, he hopes Johanna gets the picture and leaves.  He's already had enough of her for the week, and it's only been a few minutes.

“I was totally expecting him to ask me out,” Johanna says with an air of selfishness to her voice.  “I didn’t even know he was talking to her.”

“He was her secret admirer,” Chris tells her, enjoying the look of shock on her face.  “He’d been doing it for a few weeks by the time he asked her out.  He was never going to ask you out.”

“You’re lying,” Johanna accuses him.  “He never.”

“He did.”  Chris nods his head, greatly enjoying bringing Johanna down a few notches.  “She let me read the notes he would slip into her locker after they got together, and she told me the truth.  They were all so very adorable.  The things he told her; how you could tell how deeply he felt for her.”

“Whatever,” Johanna huffs as she stands up and walks over to her desk, brows furrowed in anger, and humiliated looking.

Chris laughs, having enjoyed that way more than he thought he would.  It’s the first time in days he’s laughed over something.  And laughing feels good.  Laughing makes it that much easier for him.  So, he knows he needs to laugh more to get through all this.

~

Tray of food in hand and heading over to where Linden and Matthew sit, Chris pulls a chair out across from them at the table.  "Someone accidentally knocked into me," he tells them as he winces when he slowly takes his seat.  "My ribs hurt now."

"Go to the nurse," Linden says concerned.  "She'll let you lie down for awhile."

"Yeah," Matthew agrees with her, nodding his head.  "Whenever coach would push us too hard, she'd let me lie down and rest."

"Nah."  Chris waves off their suggestion with a flick of his good wrist.  "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"  Matthew asks concerned.

"Yeah."

Across the cafeteria walking in, Chris sees Darren.  A combination of anger and hurt rise up inside him when he sees him.  It's a weird mixture because he wants to yell at Darren, but not cry while doing it.

"Poor guy," he hears Linden say across from him.

Chris looks to her with surprise and confusion in his eyes.  "What?  Why?" he asks, not understanding why Linden would say that.

"He's looked like complete shit these last few days," Linden tells him as she grabs one of her tater tots.  "You'd think his boyf-"  Chris glares at her to shut up, which she immediately does when she realizes her almost slip of the tongue.  Thankfully, Matthew doesn't catch the almost slip; attention still on Darren.  "Anyways, someone broke up with him recently."

"What makes you think that?"  Matthew asks, giving Darren a long look.

There's no reason for Chris to ask since he knows the truth.

"He's looked like he hasn't slept in days.  There's no joy in his eyes anymore.  When he teaches, he's not as happy and excited as he used to be," Linden points out.  "So, I'm guessing someone dumped him.  I could be wrong.  But, if I'm right, I feel bad for him."

That has frustration forming in Chris that Linden should feel bad for Darren over something he caused.  "What if he ended it?  What if he's the reason he's like that?" he says without thinking, a sliver of anger filling his voice.  The look of shock, and slight hurt, that crosses Linden's face makes him feel like shit.  "Shit!  I'm so sorry," he apologizes in a calmer voice.  “I didn’t mean to be an asshole.”

"It's okay," Linden tells him.

"I think the pain is getting to me.  I'm gonna go lie down for a bit."  Tray of food pushed away, Chris grabs his bag and stands up and starts to head for the exit.

No intention of going to see the nurse, the pain minimal and easy to handle, Chris heads to where his locker is.  He just wants to be alone for a few minutes to clear his head, and push away all the emotions he's feeling.

"Chris!"  He slows down the tiniest when he hears Darren call his name.

He inwardly groans.  "Yes, Mr. Criss," he says, putting on a fake outward appearance of being completely okay.  "Is there something you want?"

"Don't call me that."  Darren takes a few steps to him to close as much space as possible.

He's so close that Chris can feel the warmth radiating off his body.  It's a warmth he wants to seek out and be comforted by.  He fights from pressing close to Darren and burying his face in the slope of his neck and cry.  Cry from him hurting him, for easily walking away from what they share, and for the pain that is only getting worse by the second.

Being that he can't, though, he'll just do what he can.  Which is be mad at him.  "You broke up with me," he quietly tells Darren with anger to his voice, jabbing his finger into his chest.  "There's nothing between us now.  You're my teacher; nothing more.  So excuse me for calling you that, Mr. Criss."

For a split second, Chris sees a flicker of something in Darren's eyes.  He knows what it is.  Could recognize it anytime.  It's funny to him that even after he broke up with him, Darren still wants to kiss him.  And he'll admit, at this particular moment, both their emotions riding high as anger and lust mix, standing so close, and desperate, he really wants to kiss Darren, too.

"Go to class, Chris," Darren says in a soft tone of voice as he shakes his head and takes a few steps back.

Chris snorts as he shakes his head.  "Just like you to walk away."  Chris laughs to keep from crying.  "Typical.  Don't know why I'm surprised anymore."  Turning around, he walks away from Darren who stands rooted to the spot.

~

A few nights later, being lazy in pajamas and laying on the couch, Chris eats his pint of strawberry ice cream.  Propped up by pillows, legs out in front of him, carton of ice cream on his stomach, he watches the eighth episode of a Law and Order marathon.  He'd change it, but it's kind of easy to get sucked into the show.

"You do realize consuming just sugar isn't healthy," his mom playfully teases him as she lifts his legs and sits down on the couch, resting Chris' legs in her lap.  "For almost a week it's been like this.  You need to actually eat food, Chris."

"This is food."  Chris eats a spoonful of the ice cream.

It's a total cliché of him being upset over Darren breaking up with him by metaphorically crying into a carton of ice cream.  Truth, though, is that it's helping.  Stuffing his face with ice cream and chocolate and any other sweet makes the pain a little less hurtful.  Since he can't cry to Linden or his mom about why he's sad, he uses sugar to make it better.

"Well," his mom sighs.  "Whenever you decide to join us for dinner and eat something besides ice cream you're welcome."

"I want ice cream, too," Hannah demands as she stops and stands in front of her mom.

"No."  Chris hears his mom reply in a strict voice as she stands up.  "Unlike your brother, you're eating a proper dinner."

Chris notices Hannah huff and sulk as she follows their mom to the kitchen.  Looking to the almost empty carton of ice cream, he knows he should join his mom and sister for dinner.

Setting the carton aside and turning off the TV, he walks over to the dining room.  His mom gives him a smile when he takes a seat at the table.  "What's for dinner?"

"Nice to have you back," she says as she kisses the top of his head.  "And it's spaghetti."

Walking into his room after dinner, Chris hears the ring of his phone.  Grabbing it, he answers.  "Hey, Lin," he says as he brings the phone up to his ear.

"Hey, Chris," Linden replies.  "Me and Matthew are going to catch a movie. We were wondering if you wanted to join us."

"And awkwardly sit there while you two make out?  No."  Chris laughs.

"There'll be no making out whatsoever.  I promise."

"I don't know, Lin."  Chris falls back on his bed, letting out a huff of breath.

"Come on, Chris.  It's Saturday.  We haven't hung out together in weeks.  Please," Linden begs.  "I'll buy you a big box of those chocolate covered raisin things you like."

“You mean Raisinets?”  Chris chuckles as he sits up, contemplating Linden’s offer.

“Yeah,” Linden replies.  “Those gross things you find delectable.”

“Because they are.”  Chris stands up off the bed and walks over to his closet, rummaging through his clothes for something to wear.  “I’ll see you there.”

“Yay!”  Linden exclaims.

Laughing as he hangs up, deciding on simple jeans and a shirt, Chris figures it will be good for him to get out and have some fun.  Why should he wallow alone in his room when he can go out and try to have a fun, interesting Saturday night.

Twenty minutes later, hands shoved into the pockets of his coat, bouncing on his feet to stay warm, Chris smiles when he sees Linden and Matthew walking towards him.  “Hey,” he greets them when they are close.

“Hey, Chris,” Matthew says.  “See Linden convinced you to come.”

“Yeah.” Chris nods his head as he laughs.  “She can be tough when she wants something.”

“Hey,” Linden says with a fake anger to her voice.  “I wanted you to hang out with you.  Besides, you were easy.  All I had to do was promise you was a box of Raisinets.”

Chris playfully sticks his tongue out at Linden, making her and Matthew laugh.  “Can we please go watch this movie now?”

“Alright.”  Linden nods her head as she takes Matthew’s hand and starts to walk into the movie theater.

In the end, Chris sits a few rows behind Linden and Matthew in the theater with his box of Raisinets and a drink.  Of course, twenty minutes into the movie, some action flick Linden wanted to watch, he sees her and Matthew already making out.  He snorts as he sits back and decides to enjoy the movie.  Eating a small handful of Raisinets, Chris jumps a little when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.  Pulling it out, he is surprised by the name he sees on the screen.

_Darren: 7:48_

_Hey, um, Chris, what are you doing?_

**Chris: 7:49**

**Being a third wheel on a date between Linden and Matthew.  What do you want?**

_Darren: 7:51_

_I need to talk to you._

Chris sighs as he rolls his eyes.  Pouring out a few Raisinets, he pops them into his mouth, no longer paying attention to the movie on screen.

**Chris: 7:54**

**I think you did enough talking last Saturday.**

_Darren: 7:55_

_Chris._

Knowing Darren, Chris knows if he were to have heard Darren say his name out loud, he would have heard a devastated sigh follow Darren saying his name.

**Chris: 7:58**

**Don’t text me again.**

Shutting off his phone, Chris puts his little conversation behind him and goes back to focusing on the movie.  No need his night to be ruined over a few exchanged words.

~

For the next three weeks it’s like that.  Chris avoids talking to Darren if he can.  If there is no need for him to speak to him, he avoids doing it at all costs.  Of course, Darren does everything he can to try and talk to him.  Excuses of needing to discuss a paper, or go over a homework assignment are easily dismissed by Chris.  Chris feels like a person trying to avoid a persistent bee that won’t leave him alone.  He tries swatting it away, but it’s to no avail.  All he can do is live with the constant nagging that comes with a bee buzzing in his ear.

Even with all the avoiding he does of not talking to him, Chris can’t ignore how the pain still resides strong in his chest.  Where he thought it would get easier with each passing day, it now seems to be getting worse.  There are days where he just wants to stay in bed and sleep away the pain; days he isn’t even sure he can get through.  But he does.  He does get out of bed, because he knows, even in the slightest, it’s getting better.  He has to remember that there are other reasons to get out of bed; other reasons, and people, he should get out of bed and live for.  He can’t let what Darren did to him stop him from living.

“Chris!”  Darren exclaims with obvious agitation to his voice, stopping Chris from leaving his room three and half weeks after that night he texted him when he was at the movies.

“Yeah?”  Chris says innocently even though he glares at Darren.

“I need you here during lunch today,” Darren demands.  “I’ve let it slide long enough.  No more.”

“Okay,” Chris replies.  “I guess I’ll see you at lunch.”  With that, Chris turns on his heel and leaves, hearing Darren huff behind him.

At lunchtime, a drink and bowl of fries in hand, Chris walks into Darren’s classroom.  Sitting at the chair beside Darren’s desk, dropping his bag to the floor and setting the fries on his desk, he opens his can of Coke.

“Thanks for coming, Chris,” Darren tells him as he walks into his classroom with his usual orange.

Chris ignores the comment and rolls his eyes.  Grabbing a few fries, he stuffs them into his mouth.  Just because he has to be here doesn’t mean he has to talk to Darren.  Slumping back in his chair, staring at the dry-erase board in front of him with today’s assignments written on it in Darren’s handwriting, Chris takes a long drink of his Coke.

“Grade these for me, please,” Darren says as he pushes a stack high of papers towards Chris.

Grabbing a red pen, and eating a few more fries, Chris goes about grading the papers.  Quickly getting through the stack and pushing them back to Darren, he finishes the last of his drink.

“Chris,” Darren quietly and softly sighs as he hangs his head some.  “I know why you’re avoiding me.  But, please, say something, anything, to me.”

Chris pays no attention to Darren as he picks up his backpack and pulls a pack of Starbursts out.  Unwrapping one and popping it into his mouth, he chews as he continues to stare at the wall in front of him.  He knew the reason Darren made him come here today was try and talk to him.

“Anything, Chris,” Darren says again.  “Please.”

Popping a strawberry flavored Starbursts into his mouth, Chris looks up when the bell rings overhead.  Grabbing his bag and placing it across his chest, he stands up and smiles down at Darren.  “Time for me to go.  Glad I could be of help.”

~

He doesn’t get it.  He doesn’t understand why he feels like he should apologize to Darren.  Why apologize to the man who broke his heart unapologetically?  Why should he say he was sorry for how he treated him the day before during lunch?  He really did nothing wrong.

But he has to.  He feels like an asshole for how he treated him.  Even though Darren never apologized for what he did to him, he feels the need to apologize in return for what he did.  How he was with him yesterday, and the weeks prior, has been weighing heavy with him.  He can’t go on ignoring and being rude to Darren.  He’s tired of it.  He hates how he’s treating him; he hates being mean to someone he knows doesn’t deserve it.

After school, knowing in his heart this is the right thing to do, Chris heads to Darren’s classroom.  With each step he takes that gets him closer there, he can already feel the heavy guilt that has been with him lifting off his chest.

A few steps from Darren’s room, Chris stops when he hears a familiar voice with a recognizable accent coming from inside.  Walking up to the room, standing just outside, Chris sees as Brooke holds onto the edge of the desk as she leans over it, smiling at Darren.  Stepping out of the way when she walks to him, leaving, he holds back from glaring at her.

"Bye, Darren," Brooke happily says as she grins at him.  Chris wonders what has her so happy.  "I'll see you Saturday."  Oh, Chris thinks, that's why.

Watching her walk out of the class, a small sway to her hips, looking like the cat that got the cream, Chris isn't sure he's loathed a person more.

"Chris!"  Darren stands up shocked as he spots him outside his classroom.  "It's not-"

"Why should I care what you do with your free time?  It's not like we're dating or anything," Chris says with snark, seeing Darren visibly flinch at his words.  "You're free to do who or whatever you want; you know, someone closer to your age.  I'm just your student, after all.  I don't have a say in your personal life."

"Chris," Darren sorrowfully sighs, hanging his head.  "It's not what it seems."

"Huh.  Because it seems like you and Ms. DuBois have a date Saturday night.  Am I wrong?"  Chris gives him a look that says to prove it.

"It's just drinks between friends," Darren tries to explain.  "She just kept pushing and pushing, and my mind is so fuzzy I just wanted her gone.  I agreed to get her to leave."

"There's no need to explain to me, Mr. Criss.  I'm your student; I shouldn't be even saying anything."

"I'm so sor-"

"Don't apologize," Chris interrupts him.  “I just stopped by to say…You know what,” Chris laughs, fighting the pain in his chest that is forming, “it doesn’t even matter anymore.  Bye, Mr. Criss.”

He was stupid for thinking he could do this; for thinking he could

Turning on his heel and biting back the tears threatening to spill over, Chris ignores Darren calling his name and leaves.  He wants to go home.

~

In bed reading Saturday night, the house quiet around him, the sound of rain pattering against his window is the only noise filling the quiet.  The buzz of his phone, though, breaks through the almost silence.  Grabbing it where it's lying next to him on the bed, he unlocks it.  Surprised by who texted him, he debates reading the message.  But curiosity gets the best of him.

_Darren: 12:32_

_Chris?_

**Chris: 12:32**

**I told you not to text me anymore.**

_Darren: 12:34_

_But...I need to see you._

Five words make him happier than he's been in weeks.

**Chris: 12:35**

Dropping his phone to his chest, he doesn't have to wait long for a buzz.  Lifting it, he reads Darren's reply.

_Darren: 12:35_

_I...I need to tell you something._

Mad and angry that Darren thinks he'll come at his every beck and call, Chris shows that with his next text.  Which he takes a few minutes to send just to mess with Darren.

**Chris: 12:42**

**Go talk to Brooke.  You know the one you went on a date with.**

_Darren: 12:43_

_Not a date.  Told you that.  We got drinks.  I left early.  Went to a different bar.  Thought some things over._

**Chris: 12:44**

**What things?**

_Darren: 12:44_

_Meet me and I'll tell you._

Releasing a deep sigh, wondering if this is a smart idea, Chris figures he should hear what Darren has to say to him.  If nothing else, he can tell Darren he doesn't want him trying to contact him again outside of class.  Because it's hard trying to get over someone who broke your heart but continues to try and talk with you.

**Chris: 12:47**

**Where?**

Annoyed and frustrated, Chris sits up and quietly gets dressed and sneaks out of his house after Darren sends him a text where to meet him.  Driving to where Darren said he was at, he sees his car in the parking lot and pulls up next to him.  Taking a few moments to breathe and calm himself down, he turns off his car and climbs out.  Opening Darren's passenger door, he slides in and sits down.

It's cold.  The cold penetrates through his thin sweater.  Not in Darren's car for a few seconds and Chris can feel himself starting to shiver.  He tries not to think that he could make the cold he feels go away if he just could climb into Darren's lap and press close to him.  But he has to remind himself Darren made sure he couldn't do that anymore.

The quiet that's between them as he sits there causes an unease that grows with each passing second.  Unsure of what to do, and feeling awkward being here, makes Chris slightly uncomfortable.  And he hates that.  He hates that there's this unease between Darren and him now.  Where it was always easy and comfortable before, now there's this nervousness of not knowing what to say or do.  Like any little thing could be wrong.  So they just sit there in silence as the minutes tick by.  Taking a look around, Chris thinks it's great that they're sitting parked at a bar at midnight where they are less likely to be seen by someone they know.

"What?  Why am I here?" he finally decides to say to break the tension that keeps mounting, looking to Darren.  He's still frustrated and angry and upset at Darren, and his tone of voice makes it obvious.

"I'm glad you came," Darren tells him, lips turning up into a small smile.

Green eyes light up when they look at him.

"You can't do that!"  Chris yells at him, frustration growing.

"Do what?"  Darren says, eyes filling confusion and a ounce of fear after Chris yells at him.

"Break up with me, and then be happy to see me again.  Look at me like I'm making your day."  Keeping his eyes on his cast, not wanting to look up at Darren, he takes a few steadying breaths to calm himself down.  "You just...can't do that," he murmurs in a quieter voice as he fights back tears.

"I'm sorry," Darren apologizes above a whisper.  "But I am happy to see you again.  I'm happy you're here with me right now."

"Please.  Don't.  Not after what you did."

"I...I miss you," Darren admits with a whisper.

"You broke up with me."  Chris takes a deep breath.  "You broke up with me, Darren," he repeats in a soft voice.  "Hearing that, though, makes me so happy; and I hate how easily you can make me happy again with a few words.  That doesn't change things, though.  I'm still angry with you."

"I know.  I get it.  You deserve to be angry with me.  But you don't think I've been beating myself up; that I'm not mad at myself, too," Darren admits, dropping his head back on the headrest and sighing.  Chris barely makes out the thin puff of white air when Darren breathes.  "I'm the reason you got hurt, and I hate myself for it."

It's then that Chris realizes Darren is blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault at all.  "Don't blame yourself," he softly says.  "You're not the reason this happened to me."

"Yes," Darren lifts his head, eyes filled with sorrow as he stares at Chris, "it is.  It's my fault your wrist is broken."

"Darren, my wrist is broken because some idiot wasn't looking while they were driving."  Chris tries to sound sympathetic and kind as he talks, not wanting him to carry the weight of guilt that he shouldn't.

"No."  Darren shakes his head, eyes filling with tears.  "If I hadn't broken up with you, you would have stayed.  You would have been safe with me; protected."

"Yes.  But I left anyways when you told me to stay.  I was upset and not thinking straight," Chris tells him.  "I should have stayed."

"I can't change what happened.  If I could, I would do it entirely different."

"What do you mean?"

"I made s huge mistake.  I fucked up so bad, Chris," Darren admits in a broken voice.

Chris doesn't want to say the he did.  That he fucked up huge time.  What he did, the pain he caused, will stay with him for some time.

"Please forgive me," Darren begs as he reaches over and takes Chris' hand in his own.  "Please.  Will you forgive me?  Come back to me?"

It would be so easy to open his mouth and say yes; to forgive Darren of everything he did.  Hell, he could even nod his head.  Put this both behind them and move forward together once again.

But it's not that easy.  This isn't a movie where their problems are resolved in one conversation.  It's never that easy.  There's still things they need to discuss; questions that need to be asked.  And it's too cold, he's tired, and Darren needs a clear mind before he makes decisions that affect them both.  So, reaching over, Chris grabs Darren's car keys from the ignition.

"What are you doing?"  Darren asks confused as Chris climbs out of his car.

"Get in my car," Chris says as he shuts the door.  Unlocking his car and climbing inside, watching Darren as he walks around the front and to the passenger side.  "I'm driving you home," he tells Darren after he climbs into his car.

"Why?"

"Because you've been drinking.  And one of us getting in an accident is enough."

"You didn't answer my question," Darren points out.

"I know," Chris replies as the engine turns over and starting.

"Are you going to?"  Chris can hear the desperation and hope in Darren's voice when he talks.

"Yes.  But not right now."

"Why?"

"There are still things we need to discuss.  Questions I need answered."

"Then ask me," Darren quickly replies, turning his body to face Chris.  "Ask me whatever you need to.  I'll answer all your questions."

Pulling out of the parking lot and heading for Darren's house, Chris knows Darren would answer any and all questions he has.  And there are quite a few.  But he can't ask them right now.  Not when Darren has alcohol in his system and is most likely to say anything to get him back.  "Not right now," he replies as he stops at a red light.  "Not when you've been drinking."

"I'm not drunk, Chris.  My mind is clear," Darren pleads his case.

"That may be true."  Chris starts driving again after the light turns green.  "But I'd rather have this talk when you haven't been drinking.  When you'll remember it."

"I'll remember it, Chris," Darren whispers as he faces right and looks out the passenger window.  "I remember everything when it comes to you."

It's so hard not to pull the car over and climb over into Darren's lap and kiss him breathless after he says something like that.  It takes his breath away.  It makes his heart skip a beat.  A few words from Darren, and he remembers how easy it is to love him.

Pulling into Darren’s garage twenty minutes later, Chris shuts off the car and steps out.  Walking over to the passenger seat and opening the door, he turns up the corner of his mouth the slightest when Darren smiles up at him.  "Come on."  Chris takes Darren's hand and leads him inside.  "Can you make it upstairs?"

"I barely have a buzz.  I'm not falling over drunk, Chris," Darren replies as he starts to follow Chris up the steps.

Pushing open Darren's bedroom door, Chris walks in and sits Darren on the edge of his bed.  "We'll talk when you wake up, okay?" he says as he pushes Darren's jacket off.

"Promise," Darren says as he kicks off his shoes.

"I promise."  Chris smiles as he nods his head.  Cupping the side of Darren's face, feeling stubble under his palm, he watches as Darren closes his eyes and turns into his hand, placing a small kiss to his hand.  Chris fights from running his fingers through Darren's curls and tipping his head back and crashing their mouths together.

"I meant it, Chris," Darren says as he looks to Chris with honesty flooding his eyes.  "I want you back.  And I'll do anything to make you see that."

"I know you would."  Chris leans forward and presses a kiss to Darren's forehead, feeling him wrap his arms around his waist and pull him close.  It's so difficult being close to Darren again after everything.  Chris struggles with pressing closer to the man he loves, and broke his heart, or pulling away to prevent any pain that may occur if their talk doesn't end well.  Does he stop himself from holding Darren and getting his hopes up?  Or does he do what every nerve in his body is telling him to, stay here in this spot and be in the place that has always felt right?  He knows what he wants in his heart, but goes with what is right.  With what won't hurt.  "But, how about you just go to sleep for me right now," he suggests as he pushes at Darren's shoulder to get him to lie down.

"Okay," Darren sleepily mumbles as he nuzzles his face in his pillow.  "Night, Chris."

"Night, Darren," Chris says as he walks out of Darren's room and closes the door.

Slumping some against the door, he takes a deep breath to clear his mind.  This is definitely not what he was expecting when he agreed to meet Darren earlier tonight.  Pushing off the door, he heads downstairs.  Tired and exhausted over where this night unexpectedly went, Chris collapses on Darren's couch and passes out instantly.

Fingers gently raking through his hair wake him up hours later.  Fluttering his eyes open, and confused for a moment over where he is, Chris remembers the late night before.  Not moving, continuing to let Darren run his fingers through his hair, enjoying the calming touch, he rubs his cheek against Darren's thigh where his head rests.  He figures Darren must have put his head in his lap at some point after he sat down.  There's a smell of citrus when he pulls in a deep breath; it's so familiar and warming all at once.

The soft noise of Darren humming a song under his breath makes Chris smile.  Lying there and listening for a bit, getting lost in the beauty of Darren's voice for a few moments, he remembers there are questions he needs to ask.

"Do you remember last night?" he questions, jumping right in to what's important.

"Yes," Darren replies.

Turning onto his back and staring up at Darren, Chris feels his heart race as he gazes up at the man he loves.  He fights the smile that tries to break across his face as he realizes Darren did remember when it came to him.  But then he remembers there are questions he needs answered.  He has questions he needs to ask.

"Why did you breakup with me?" he quietly asks.  It's the main question he wants fully answered.

Darren takes a deep breath before answering, voice coming out calm and even.  "I was scared.  I was stupid.  I thought I was doing the right thing."

"What happened?"

"I thought stopping it was smart.  I'm twenty-eight-"

"Twenty-nine," Chris corrects.  "You just had a birthday."

Darren smiles.  "I'm a twenty-nine year old teacher secretly dating his student who is seventeen.  Having Bren standing there that night.  I realized what could have happened to me if we were caught.  I saw myself on the nine o’clock news being called so many hurtful names; and people saying things about me even though they couldn’t understand why I did what I did.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”

"What made you change your mind?"  Chris asks after a few seconds of silence after Darren speaks.

"I can’t go on without you.  I want you back.”

Chris lets those words sink into him.  Those words have a warmth he hasn’t felt in weeks bloom in his chest.  He starts to feel hope.  There’s hope that the worst is behind him; hope that he could be happy again.  He could be back with Darren, where he wants to be.  But he has to let Darren know how deeply he affected him when he broke things off.

"I cried for days, Darren."  Chris drops his eyes to a wrinkle in Darren's shirt as he admits that with a broken voice.  "It hurt in a way I never imagined.  I can't forget something like that so easily."

"I know."  Darren wipes away the tear Chris didn't even realize rolled down the side of his face, then gently stroking his thumb under his eye.  “And I hate myself for doing that to you.”

"Was it terrible for you these past few weeks, too?"

"A living hell."

"Good."  Chris smiles.  Darren laughs at him.

"I'll make it up to you for the rest of your life, if you let me."

"Do you regret it?"

"Since the moment you drove away."

Chris smiles at Darren's words.  Inside his chest, he feels his heart start to race at knowing where this is going.  "Yes," he quietly whispers.

"Yes, what?"  Darren says slightly confused.

"Yes, I forgive you," Chris clarifies for him.

Darren beams down at him.  It's the happiest Chris has seen him in weeks.  But placing a hand at his chest, he stops him when he starts to lean down to him.  "What?"

"Don't ever do that to me again."  Chris gazes into Darren's eyes that are filled with relief.

"I won't."  Darren leans down and captures Chris' mouth in a sweet, tender kiss.  "I'll never let you go again."

"How can I trust you won't leave?  That you won't break my heart, again?"

"Because losing you once was enough to let me know I never want it to happen again."

Grabbing at the back of Darren's neck, Chris leans up and kisses him.  It's a deep, sensual kiss that goes straight to his heart.  It awakens him to everything; it wakes him up from the coma like state he has been in these past four weeks.  For the first time in a month, he feels alive again.

Parting his lips when Darren sweeps his tongue along the seam of his mouth, Chris softly moans when Darren starts to gently delve his tongue into his mouth.  Stopping long enough to sit up and sit in Darren’s lap, winding his arms around his neck and pressing close to his body, Chris dives back in and hungrily kisses Darren.  After a month, he has to make up for all that he’s missed.

And missed, he has.  It's crazy how much Chris has missed this.  And he never wants to go so long without it again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some exhibitionism in this chapter.

Chris swears the sun shines brighter.  It’s almost as if the black cloud of rain that followed him around for the few weeks he and Darren were apart has disappeared, and all that is left is the warm rays of the sun that fall on him.  It’s like he’s awoken from a terrible nightmare to find comfort in the arms of the person he cares deeply for.  All there is now is happiness and joy.  It's been over a week and a half since Darren and he have gotten back together, and Chris is happier than he can imagine.  There’s no longer the ache he felt in his chest.

Although back with Darren, they have yet to do more than talk since kissing that morning.  Of course, Chris wants to do more.  He wants to sit in Darren’s lap and kiss him for hours and hours until his lips are numb, and he only has to stop to breathe.  When he gets the chance to, Chris knows he will grab at the opportunity.  And based on the longing glances Darren gives him, Chris can safely assume that he wants the same.

But sitting here right now in the classroom next to Darren’s desk during lunch on Wednesday, not doing much of anything but exchanging few words, and sharing glances with longing between them, Chris fights from climbing into Darren’s lap at this precise moment.  But he can see in those glances how much Darren wants the same thing.

They haven’t said much during their lunch together, but Chris can see that Darren has something he wants to say.

“I know you want to say something,” Chris tells him.  “Say it, Dare.”

“I…I was wondering…Would…Do…” Darren trails off, obviously nervous about what he has to say.

“Don’t be nervous, Dare.  Just say it.”

"How about we try this again," Darren just blurts out as he eats an orange slice.

"Try what again?"  Chris asks a bit confused.

"Come over to my place Saturday," Darren suggests with a hint of joy to his eyes.

The thought scares Chris.  All he can think about is what happened the last time Darren and he tried to have a night together.  The pain and hurt comes back easily as Chris recalls Darren breaking-up with him.  The terrible pain cuts deep, as if new as Chris sits there and tries not to cry.  Eyes filled with tears, he notices the joy quickly fall from Darren's eyes as understanding fills them.

"No, Chris."  Darren reaches over and takes his hand.  Chris calms a bit at the touch.  "No.  Not this time.  This time will be different.  Better."

"Promise?"  Chris says with a wavering voice.

"I promise.  I promise.  I promise."

Chris lets out a surprise squeak when Darren leans over and kisses him.  Darren's hand cupping the side of his face, thumb gently stroking over his cheek, Chris closes his eyes and lets himself get lost in the soft press of lips to his.  The kiss is tender and languid.  Chris softly moans into Darren’s mouth when he gently delves his tongue past his lips.  But before they can get carried away, Chris pulls back before they can't stop and get in serious trouble.  Taking in a deep breath, licking his lips, he stares into Darren's eyes, finding comfort in them.  "That was risky.  I thought you were never going to kiss me here again."

"I had to kiss you.  I needed you to know that I’m here.  I’m right here for you.  I’m not giving you up again,” Darren turns his lips up into a small smile, still cupping the side of Chris’ face.  Chris turns into the touch.  “Besides, there’s no one nearby to see us.”

“Still risky.”  Chris laughs.

“Maybe,” Darren agrees with his own laugh.

Staring into Darren’s eyes, feeling a soothing feeling falling over him, Chris takes Darren’s hand from his face and holds it in his lap.  “I’ll go under one condition.”

“What condition?”

“We don’t order pizza.”

Darren laughs out loud.  “I think I can agree to that.”

~

Kissing.  That’s all Chris is thinking about; all he wants to do.  That’s what he’s been doing for hours now.  Soft, full lips on his moving against his mouth, a silky tongue thrusting into his mouth gliding against his, hands holding him close to a familiar body, and his fingers in curly hair.  He isn’t sure how long he’s been kissing Darren.  But it really doesn’t matter.  He could have been doing this for twelve hours straight and it wouldn’t be enough.  Not even close.  He had arrived at Darren’s house close to six, and he can assume that at least a few hours have passed since he shoved Darren on to his couch and climbed into his lap and surged forward and took his mouth in a hungry, desperate kiss.

Finally pulling back after what feels like days, pulling in a deep breath, Chris stares at Darren.  Lips kissed swollen, eyes filled with a mixture of lust, desire, and happiness; Chris finds him absolutely gorgeous.

“That was fun,” Chris breathlessly says.

“Mm,” Darren agrees with a low hum, pressing his face into the curve of Chris’ neck.  Chris sighs as he presses a kiss to the skin.

“I have something to tell you,” Chris murmurs.

“What?”

"Happy Belated Birthday, Old Man!"  Chris grins as he pulls back from Darren, leaning over and kissing him.  "Twenty-nine.  Should I be buying you a walker next year?"

"With tennis balls on the bottom of the legs?"  Darren laughs as he wraps an arm around Chris' waist and pulls his body closer.

"And a Life Alert necklace," Chris teases as he giggles.  But the laughter quickly dies on his lips and turns into a soft moan when Darren starts to kiss along his neck.  "Do...Do y-you want your pr-present I brought for you?"  Lowering his head and capturing Darren's mouth in a kiss, he instinctively rocks his hips down.  He softly moans at the pleasure that immediately shoots through his body.

But before he can do it again, hands clamp down on his hips and still him.

"Trust me, Chris," Darren heavily pants as he grips his hips.  "As much as I would really love to, we can't."

"Your self-control is better than a person on a diet."  Chris rests his forehead to Darren's, fluttering his eyes closed, and smiles.  "So, you want your present?"

"You didn't have to get me anything," Darren tells him.

"Yes, I did.  I'm gonna go get it."  Placing a quick kiss to Darren's lips, Chris climbs off his lap and heads to his car parked in the garage.

Present in hand a few moments later, sitting next to Darren with his legs draped over his lap, he hands him the wrapped box.  "Happy Birthday!  Well, late birthday."  He sets a card on top of the box.

"Thanks."  Chris smiles into the kiss Darren gives him.  "Let's see what we have here."

Scooting closer and resting his head on Darren's shoulder, Chris watches as he opens the envelope and pulls out the card.  He instantly hears him chuckle.

" _'That Hill Is Getting Closer And Closer,'_ " Darren reads out loud.  Flipping the card open, he finishes reading, " _'Make Sure You Enjoy The Trip Up.'_   I'm only twenty-nine and already dealing with old people jokes."

"It's okay, Old Man," Chris teases, "you might be old, but you still have your looks."

"Oh, you think you're so funny."  Chris screams when Darren playfully tackles him to the couch.  Giggling when he starts to tickle him, he calls Uncle.  "That's what I thought," Darren playfully jokes.

"Careful with the cast," Chris playfully chastises him.

"Sorry," Darren apologizes.

"Open your present."  Chris nods his head to the box that was knocked to the floor.

"Okay."  Turning so his back is to Darren, pressing close to him, Chris watches as he picks the box up and sets it right in front of him on the small space of the couch.  "You still didn't have to buy me anything.  I don't deserve it after what I did."

"Yes, you do," Chris replies.  "Stop beating yourself up over that.  We've moved on."  And they have.  They’ve moved on from that terrible time when they were apart.  All that matters is that they’re back together now.  All that matters is their future together; not what happened in the past.

"You're right," Darren agrees.

"Anyways, I've had this for you for a few months now.  Besides, I think you'll like this."  Watching Darren tear away the wrapping and lift the lid of the box, Chris stares as Darren runs his fingers along the black tie with small detail in its pattern.  "It's silk."

"Thanks, Chris."  Darren kisses his temple.  "I love it.  But it must have been expensive."

"Don't worry about that," Chris says as he turns in Darren's arms, blush already creeping into his cheeks at what he's going to say next.  "But, I was thinking, after graduation, we could use it as more than something that goes around your neck."

"Chris," Darren says a bit stunned, "are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Yes."  Chris bites his lower lip and shyly smiles.  "If you don't want to, that's fine.  I was just wondering what it could be like."

"How about," Darren starts to say as he covers Chris' eyes with the tie, knotting it behind his head, "we try a trial run."

Chris' breath hitches at the feel of the smooth silk on his skin.  Reaching up and barely skimming his fingers over the tie, heart beating wildly in his chest, he can only imagine what Darren will do.  "Dare?" he softly whispers when he feels the loss of his body heat.

"Don't worry.  I'm still here," Darren tells him from beside the couch.

Moving to lie on his back, Chris questions what Darren has in mind.  "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm not gonna touch you," Darren tells him.  "So, don't think this is that."

"Okay."

"Can you take your shirt off for me, please."

Nodding his head as he mumbles a yes, he reaches down with shaky hands and grabs the hem of his shirt. Lifting it up, raising his shoulders off the couch, he pulls it over his head.  He feels it pulled away from around his wrists when it gets stuck on his cast.

Now lying there with his vision and shirt gone, nervous, he starts to doubt Darren and the whole this not being what it is.

"Don't be nervous, baby," Darren whispers to him, sending a shiver down his spine.  "You'll enjoy this."

Chris hears the clinking of ice together in one of the glasses from their drinks Darren must have gotten them when he went to go get the present.  It piques his interest, and has him curious as to what's going on.  "Dare," he says with a slightly shaky voice.

"God, Chris, you have no idea how much I wish I could touch you like I want."  Chris gasps at the sudden coldness that is felt on his nipple.  It doesn't take long for him to figure out what Darren just did.  "Sometimes," Darren continues to say as he traces Chris' nipple with the ice, quickly bringing it to a peak, "I think I can't go another three months waiting to touch you in every way possible."

Chris softly whines low in his throat and arches his back when Darren's cool, soft breath is gently blown over the cold, hardened nipple.  "Oh, God," he moans, already breathing heavy.  Heat and pleasure start to claw at his body.  "Me...Me too.  Want you so badly."  He balls his right hand into a tight fist to keep from blindly reaching out to grab at Darren.  In this moment, he can feel himself slowly losing that control he's learned to build around Darren.

"Sometimes I can't even concentrate in class as you sit there."  Darren drags the ice cube over and traces Chris' other nipple, quickly bringing it to a peak.  "You're so utterly gorgeous.  At times, all I can think about is getting to spend days naked in bed with you."  Darren slowly drags the ice across Chris' chest and up, letting it melt and create a small puddle of water at the base of Chris' neck.

Chris arches up and whimpers, feeling a mixture of heat and need growing from Darren's words, and what he's doing with the ice cube.  "Please...Please, Dare," he begs as he arches his back again, lifting his hips seeking any kind of friction on his aching cock.  But when he gets none, he whines low in his throat.  "Please."  Darren's reply to him is to softly blow on his' nipple again, making him shiver and moan. 

Trembling when he feels drops of water hit his stomach, gasping at the sudden touch of the cold ice cube to his heated flesh, he feels as it's slowly circled around his bellybutton. Tipping his head back and releasing a deep moan, clutching at the cushions of the couch beneath his hands, Chris feels his cock twitch in need of anything.  "Oh, God!  Please," he begs again.  "Touch me."  It's all he wants.  The simple touch of Darren's hand on him to give him what he seeks.

"I'm not going to touch you, Chris," Darren whispers.  Chris groans at the feel of warm breath ghosting over his ear, hating how close yet so far away Darren is.

"Fuck!"  Chris exclaims as Darren drags the ice cube up his chest and traces his nipple again.  A jolt of pleasure shoots up his spine, making him desperate for more.

"You look so gorgeous, Chris," Darren softly tells him as he pulls the ice cube away.  "You should see yourself."

Chris arches his back again and gasps when Darren blows on the hardened nub, following the trail of water the ice cube left.  Moaning when Darren blows around his bellybutton, stomach trembling with desire and arousal, Chris wants nothing more than to have Darren reach down and touch him.  He knows if he would, it wouldn't take much since he's such on edge already.

"You want to come?"  Darren asks as Chris hears the sloshing of ice together in the cup again.

He knows Darren must be grabbing another ice cube.  Letting out a surprise gasp when the cold, hard ice cube is lightly pressed to his lips, he feels as Darren slowly drags the ice over his lips.  Parting his lips, flicking his tongue over the ice, drops of cold water sliding down his tongue, an ache between his legs makes him whimper and lift his hips.  "Please," he pants, desperate for anything.

"Will you touch yourself for me?"  Darren says, sounding just as desperate as Chris does.  "I want to see how beautiful you are as you experience pleasure."

"Fuck, yes!"  Chris groans as he instantly reaches down and starts to palm himself over his jeans.  The immediate pleasure that he feels at the touch makes him eager for more.  Turning his head to the side and panting, hot breath ghosting over his bare shoulder as he palms himself, he softly groans at how fantastic it feels.

He's, obviously, never done anything like this.  When it comes to masturbating, he tends to do it while showering, or he likes to be in the quiet of his room when he knows no one will accidentally walk in on him.  That's usually left him in the dark of night biting his lower lip to keep from being loud.  So doing this in front of Darren is different.

To have someone next to him, to have Darren sit there watching him, and knowing he's enjoying it, makes this much more pleasurable.  He can be as loud as he pleases.  In the dark, he is free to what he wants.  He can take his time and drag this out if he wants.  But he knows he won't; he's already too desperate to come.

"You can go under your pants if you want to," Darren whispers.  "But that's your choice," he makes sure to remind Chris.

It is his choice, and he wants to do this.  He wants to get off as Darren sits there and watches him; to stroke himself until he comes as he thinks about Darren and what he could do to him if things were different at the moment.

Reaching for the button of his jeans, undoing it and pulling his zipper down, the sound of the zipper loud in the otherwise quiet room, shimmying the jeans down off his hips a bit, Chris slips his hand past the waistband of his underwear.

"Wait."

Stopping his hand, Chris doesn't move.  "What?" he asks confused.

"Give me a second."

Hearing Darren leave and run up the stairs, itching to touch himself, Chris hears him come back down not even a few seconds later.  Holding out his hand as Darren asks him to, he feels the cold liquid make a small pool in his palm.  He quietly laughs at Darren thinking to get him lube.

"There," Darren tells him.  "That will be easier."

Wrapping his fingers around his cock after spreading the lube over his palm, slowly stroking himself so Darren can enjoy the visual, Chris softly moans as he gently works his hips up into his fist.  Thumbing at the head slick with pre-come, purposely pushing his underwear down the smallest off his hips to let Darren get a glimpse of him, hearing him groan, and feeling the faintest of fingers ghost over his hip, Chris gasps as he strokes himself.  Long, languid, drawn-out drags of his hand quickly put him on more of an edge.  He can feel how close he is getting.

He shouldn't get off on it as much as he is.  But Chris is surprised by how much he is actually enjoying this.  This is something he thought he would never do.  And now that he's doing it, he wants to do it again.  It's incredibly sensual and arousing.

Stroking up, thumbing at the head once more, Chris can feel the tingle under his skin.  He knows he's close.  Quickening the pace of his hand, lifting his hips up into his fist, he feels himself drawn closer and closer to his release.

A few more quick strokes of his hand and Chris arches his back and cries out as he spills over his fist.  Feeling his cum hit his stomach as he strokes himself through his release, Darren's name continually falling from his lips, thinking about it being him doing this, and causing this kind of reaction.  Chris strokes himself until it becomes too much; until he can't come anymore.  Stopping, stilling his hand, after some time, Chris lets himself experience the pleasure.  He lets it all hit him like a tidal wave that washes over him, and takes him under.  Pleasure courses through him like fire, and he revels in it.

Lying there in a daze of pleasure as Darren takes the tie away from around his eyes, letting them readjust to the light, Chris smiles at Darren, who's right there staring at him with lust and awe mixing together in his eyes.  "I like that," he admits, finally breaking the comfortable silence between them.  "We should do that again."

"We will.  After you graduate," Darren makes sure to remind him.  "But, right now," he goes on to say, cupping the side of Chris' face, stroking his thumb over his rosy cheek, "you should get dressed and cleaned."

"I thought about you," Chris admits without any trace of embarrassment or shame.  Reaching over and skimming his fingers over Darren's cheek, he smiles at the slight shock he sees in his eyes.  "How it would feel if it was you; if it was your hand.  If you were moving inside me."

"Chris," Darren groans, closing his eyes.  "You can't say things like that."

"Why?"  Chris laughs at hearing the desperation to Darren's voice.

"Because it makes me want to do things I can't yet."  Darren looks at him longingly.

"We could.  I certainly wouldn't tell anyone."

"I don't want to risk it.  Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Chris tells him with a warm smile on his lips.  "I understand."

"Thank you."

Pulling his jeans back on and sitting up after Darren goes to get him something to clean himself up, Chris looks at the tie just lying on the table.  Thoughts about what Darren and he could do with that tie after graduation flood his mind, and he knows he needs to stop thinking that before he's jerking off again.

Thanking Darren when he hands him a damp napkin, Chris sits back and cleans his belly.  "Speaking of risks," he says.  "I shall see if mine paid off or not soon."

“What do you mean?”  Darren asks.

“I should be getting my replies from the schools I applied to soon,” Chris tells him as he tosses the napkin on the table, he pulls his shirt on.  Looking to Darren, he sees worry in his eyes, and that confuses and scares him.  He drops the smile on his face.  “What?” he asks concerned.

“Wha-…Oh, nothing,” Darren responds with a bit of a hesitation to his voice.  “It’s nothing of importance right now.”

“Okay,” Chris says, sounding unsure, giving Darren a skeptical look.  But he won’t push Darren for more.  He knows he’ll tell him what he’s thinking when the time is right.  “Moving on, then.  I’m tired, can we go to bed now.”

“Sure.”

Standing up and taking Darren’s hand, Chris follows him upstairs.

It's only the second time he's been in Darren's bedroom.  The first time coming almost two weeks before when he put a drunk Darren to bed.  Chris quietly laughs at that memory.

Staring at the bed, trying not to think about what will be happening in it in a few short months, Chris instead focuses on Darren's hand in his.  He focuses on how this is nothing more than two responsible people sharing a bed.  It can't be more than that yet.  But, Chris mainly focuses on the happiness he feels bloom and spread throughout him like a comforting warmth on a cold winter night.

"So..." Chris mutters, unsure of what to say as he and Darren just stand in front of the bed staring at it, like it's some foreign object to both of them.  "What do you normally do?" he asks, keeping the conversation on something easy.

"I take a shower," Darren replies.

"I could go for a shower myself," Chris says as he still feels sweaty and dirty over what he just did.

"Um...There's the bathroom so you can shower and change."  Darren gestures to a door a few feet away.  "There are clean towels on the shelves for you."

"Okay."  Chris finds it cute how flustered Darren is.  Under the surface, he knows there are more nerves than the subtle hint of nerves he shows, than he lets on feeling.  It relieves Chris to know that Darren is just as nervous about this as him.

It's stupid to be nervous over something as simple as sharing a bed with another person.  But when said person is someone you love, and someone you want more than the air in your lungs, it's probably okay to be so nervous you might be sick.  Considering this is the first time they are doing this with each other, Chris tries not focus on what he could do.  Pushing Darren further than he's ready to allow himself to go is something he doesn't want to do.  He's going to be on his best behavior tonight.  "I'm gonna go take a shower."  Giving Darren a quick kiss after he says okay, Chris walks to the bathroom.

Closing the door behind him, taking a deep, calming breath, Chris pushes off the door and sets his change of clothes on the counter.  Stripping naked and stepping into the shower, turning on the hot water, letting it fall down on him in a soothing, comforting way, being careful to keep his cast out of the water's path, Chris doesn't fight the smile over the fact that he's showering in Darren's bathroom; using his soap that will make him smell like him.  It's oddly...normal for him.  Yeah, there is that bit of craziness to it.  But not enough to deter Chris from enjoying it.

Quickly dressing after finishing, and doing everything else he needs to, he walks out of the bathroom back into the bedroom.  He finds Darren sitting on the edge of the bed looking lost in thought, with a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

"I feel so much better."  Chris gives Darren a kiss, feeling him smile even bigger.  "What were you thinking about out here?"  Pulling back just enough, Chris nudges his nose against Darren's.

"You," Darren replies without hesitation.

"Me?"  Chris says, pretending to be surprised.  "Did these thoughts include me with a certain tie?"

"Since you want to know," Darren leans over and kisses along Chris' neck.  Chris tilts his head to the side to expose more of his neck, softly moaning as Darren kisses and gently nips and bites at the skin.  "Yes," Darren whispers into Chris' ear.  "My thoughts were nothing but of you and that tie."

Chris smiles.  "They better be," he playfully teases with a small laugh.

"They will be.  I'm gonna go shower real quick, now."  Darren pushes Chris back some and steps off the bed.

Watching Darren walk away only has Chris wondering something that he shouldn't think, because the images only have him wanting to strip naked again and join Darren in the shower.  Then he starts to think about when he'll be able to do that.  When he'll be able to come into Darren's house and find him showering only to get naked and join him.  Then, of course, Chris starts thinking about what could happen in the shower, and he knows he needs to stop that real quick.  He doesn't want to explain to Darren why he's getting off.  Although, he's pretty sure Darren wouldn't mind being greeted with that sight.

So, climbing into bed, and sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, Chris decides not to be nosey and not go through Darren’s things.  Instead, leaning back on his elbows, he waits for Darren to come back out of the bathroom, which doesn’t take long.  But it’s the sight of Darren in nothing but sweats with his skin still damp from his shower, drying his hair with a towel, that has Chris speechless.  He follows a drop of water that slides down Darren’s chest, wanting to go over and gather it with his tongue; licking up.  Heat stirring in his belly, cock giving a twitch, Chris lets out a small groan.  “Wow!” he says as he stares.

"Oh, sorry," Darren shyly says as he drops his arm, holding the towel by his side, a bit of a blush to his cheeks.  "I only wear sweats to sleep.  Is this okay?"

"T-That...That's definitely okay," Chris stutters as he stares at Darren's bare chest.  The temptation to reach out and touch, splay his hand over defined muscles, is great.  But Chris fights it.  He is going to be good; he's keeping his hands to himself.  'No touching.' as Darren said earlier.

"I can see this won't be a problem for you."  Darren chuckles as he tosses the towel into hamper of dirty clothes and climbs into bed.

"I'm just really shocked all that is under those shirts I see you wear each day in class."  Chris scoots back on the bed, sitting close to Darren up against the headboard.  He stares a bit transfixed at Darren’s naked torso; following the lines of muscles under tan skin.  The smell of citrus reaches his nose, and he remembers the bottle of soap in Darren’s shower.  “You should be shirtless more often.”

Darren just laughs.

“No.  Don’t laugh,” Chris tells him, lightly smacking him on his arm.  “You should.  I like it.”

“Trust me, I can tell,” Darren says around a chuckle, embarrassing Chris.

"Truth time, then," Chris announces, deciding it’s only fair he embarrass Darren a little.

"What?"

"Did you jerk-off in the shower just now?"  Chris giggles like a kid after he asks Darren that; the blush staining Darren's cheeks being answer enough for him.

"Do you really think I could watch you earlier and not get turned on?"  Darren rhetorically asks with a small snort.  "I'd pretty much had been dying to get off since."

"Did you think about me?"  Chris slowly slides his fingers up Darren's arm, feeling the slight tremble underneath.

"Of course I did," Darren answers with a deep voice filled with arousal.  "Who else would I think about?"

"I don't know.  Anybody you wanted to."  Chris shrugs his shoulders as he draws his fingers over Darren's collarbone, and slowly up the side of his neck.  "But I'm glad it was me."

Darren moves closer and whispers into Chris' ear, "I don't need to think about anyone else."

Turning Darren's head to look at him, wrapping his fingers around his neck, Chris leans in to kiss Darren.  It’s a slow, sensual kiss that creates a burn deep in Chris’ body.  There’s a deep desire to remove clothes and touch all over.  He aches to press close to Darren’s body and just move together until they both experience a pleasure so much greater than they thought they could share between them.  Chris wants to forget rules and promises and show Darren how much he really wants him.

Slowly skimming his fingers down Darren's chest, running them back and forth right above the waistband of Darren's sweats, Chris gets confident and barely pushes his fingers past the band.  Stroking his thumb over the soft skin right below Darren's bellybutton; feeling the course hair of his happy-trail.  It's so tempting to push his hand all the way down and take Darren in his hand; get him off himself.

"Don't even think about it, Christopher," Darren murmurs against his lips before he can even do anything of the sort.

Chris pulls back with a groan.  "Don't call me Christopher.  My mom calls me that when I'm in trouble.  It feels wrong hearing it come out of your mouth."

"Then don't call me Mr. Criss, Christopher," Darren tells him with a small smirk to his lips.

"Deal."  Chris leans back over and gives Darren another kiss.

Curling into Darren's side, exhausted and ready to sleep, Chris softly sighs.  Draping his arm over Darren's chest, feeling his heartbeat under his hand, he is glad Darren decided to do this; is glad he trusts him enough not to do anything so they could share this night together.  Chris likes being close, and holding Darren as he slowly falls asleep.

"Earlier, you said…You said schools?"  Darren asks as he skims his fingers along Chris' back.  Chris figures this has something to do with the look he saw in Darren’s eyes.  "What are the other schools?"

"Yup."  Chris nods his head.  "Princeton is the only other school I applied to.  But I'm thinking of staying home and going to a community college for a few years."

"Why?"  Darren softly asks as he links his fingers with Chris' that are on his chest.

"I don't want to leave my mom alone.  She's already lost my dad, and me moving away at this time doesn't seem right."

"I'm pretty sure she could handle you moving away.  Whether it's across the country or a few hours away, she knows you'll still come back to visit."  Darren slides down the bed and turns onto his side and looks at Chris.  "When you get accepted, because I know you will," Chris smiles at that, "she'll be proud of you, and practically push you out the door."

"I know.  But...She can't lose me, too."

"She won't be losing you, Chris," Darren tells him.  "She'll be letting you go.  It's only right.  Normal.”

Chris thinks about how Darren is right.  His mom will be letting him go to go live his life; to be on his own like he wants to be.  "I do have to fly on my own," he says, thinking about how he'll eventually have to leave the metaphorical nest and join the real world that is scary.  But he knows he'll be able to do it.

"Yeah, you do."  Darren leans over and gently nudges his nose against Chris', making him smile.  "Trust me, everything will be fine."

"I know," Chris quietly replies, although he notices the faintest of hints of worry in Darren's eyes.  Not wanting to ask what that is about, Chris ignores it for now.  He's not going to ruin his night with Darren.

"Which one are you leaning more towards?"

"I've always wanted to attend UCLA," Chris replies.  "It has some really great programs, and is closer to home.  Plus, I highly doubt I'll get into Princeton."

"Don't doubt yourself.  You never know."

“True,” Chris says with a slight nod of his head.  “All I can do now is wait.”

“And that part sucks.”  Darren chuckles as he leans over and gently bites Chris’ lower lip.  “Don’t worry too much about it.”

“I’m trying not to.  But it is a huge deal for me.”

“I know.  I was in your position once.”

“What did you do to distract yourself from it?”

“You want to know what I did?”  Chris nods his head at Darren’s question.  “Okay.”

Chris moans as Darren kisses him.  It’s a rough kiss that’s all tongue and teeth.  And it does nothing to quell the urge under Chris’ skin to jump Darren and do things he isn’t allowed to just yet.  He groans as Darren lightly nips at his lower lip before sucking on it.

“That’s what I did,” Darren says around a smirk as he pulls back, leaving Chris to pull air into his lungs.

Chris starts to laugh after he gets his bearings back.  “ _That_ is a good distraction.”

“I know.”

“You should distract me more often.”  Chris arches his eyebrow and gives Darren a sly grin.

“Maybe I will,” Darren chuckles.

"Later,” Chris stretches and gets comfortable.  “I’m tired right now.  Gonna go to sleep.”

"Alright.  I'm gonna read for a bit."  Chris sees as Darren reaches over on his nightstand for his glasses, slipping them on and grabbing a book.

“Okay.”  Chris yawns as he barely nods his head, smiling when he feels Darren press a kiss to his forehead.

When he opens his eyes, not remembering falling asleep, looking out the window to see a dark sky, Chris feels the slow skim of fingers up and down his arm.  Lifting his head, the light from the bedside lamp slightly blinding to his eyes, he finds Darren still sitting up against the headboard reading a book.  "Dare," he quietly mumbles.  "What are you doing?"  Sitting up, yawning, he presses to Darren's side, resting his head on his shoulder.  "Why are you still reading?"

"Got caught up in the story," Darren replies as he rests the book facedown on his chest.  "Sorry I woke you."

"You didn’t."  Chris yawns again, looking to the clock to see it's close to three in the morning.  "Come on," he whispers.  "Sleep with me.  I'm tired.  Want to be held by you.”

"Okay."  Watching Darren bookmark his spot and take his glasses off, setting them on top of the book after placing it on the nightstand.  Chris sees as Darren reaches over and turns off the lamp.  Turning onto his side, feeling Darren press his chest to his back, draping his arm over his waist, Chris thinks about how easy all this is.  It feels right.  Almost domestic; as if they've been doing it for years.  "Go back to sleep, Chris."

Chris yawns as he nods his head, feeling lips press to the back of his neck.  Darren’s strong heartbeat against his back, and him stroking his thumb on his chest right over his own heart, lulls Chris back to sleep in no time.

~

Waking up curled into Darren's side, legs tangled together, head resting on his chest, Chris yawns really big.  "What are you doing?" he groggily mumbles as he blearily opens his eyes to Darren lying on his back holding his casted arm, writing something on it.

"Just a sec," Darren responds as he blows on the new ink before capping the permanent marker he's holding.  "There."  He pushes the cast back to Chris.

Chris rolls onto his back, giving Darren a perplexed look, and lifts the cast in front of him.  Seeing what Darren did makes Chris' stomach swoop.  Underneath the picture Linden drew of him, Chris sees the word _‘You’_ and underneath the picture of the prince she drew, he sees the word _‘Me.’_ “You’re my prince,” he says as more as a statement, and not as question, knowing it’s true.  Chris slowly draws his fingers over the letters of the word.

“I would love to be nothing more.”  Darren turns onto his side and props himself up on his arm, smiling down at Chris.  "It's the only way I can be on there," he says as he ghosts his own fingers over Chris’ cast.

“It’s perfect.”  Reaching behind Darren's neck and pulling him in for a kiss, Chris quietly moans.  In that moment, he wants to tell Darren he loves him, but he doesn’t.  Not yet.  He’ll tell him when he’s ready to tell him.

~

Walking into class Monday, Chris nearly pops a boner right there when he sees Darren wearing the tie.  When Darren spots him, he gives him a sly look like he knows what he's doing to him.  Going up to him, clutching the strap of his bag, and breathing to calm down, he can't stop thoughts of what happened from entering his mind.  It was single-handedly the most erotic thing he's ever experienced.  To be touched, but not touched.  To touch himself as Darren watched.

"Hey, Mr. Criss," Linden says as she comes up behind Chris.  "Gorgeous tie."

"Thanks, Linden.  It was a late birthday gift from someone special," Darren tells her as he runs his hand down the tie, quickly looking to Chris.

Chris just stands there and stares transfixed at the black silk tie around Darren's throat.  He tries not to remember it around his eyes; tries not to think about what he did in front of Darren.  He knows if he does, if he allows himself even the briefest moments of remembering that, he'll end up just leaving school to go home and jack off.

"Um...," Chris clears his throat after hearing how wrecked it sounds.  "Yeah, nice tie."

Stumbling some when Linden grabs his hand and tugs him to his seat, hearing Darren laugh, glad for the brief distraction of safely making it to his desk, Chris takes his seat.

"I'm sorry, Chris," Linden apologetically tells him in a sympathetic voice after they sit down.

Chris gets confused by that.  "Wait!  Why?"

"About Mr. Criss," she quietly says.  "He's, obviously, got a boyfriend he cares about.  Probably the one he broke up with a few weeks ago.  I’m guessing they got back together.  I understand, considering how happy he’s been.”

"Why jump to that conclusion?  Why think he’s happy because of this boyfriend?"  Chris is interested to hear how Linden could put the pieces together so quickly.

"The way he looked when he mentioned him.  He looked head over heels.  And I know how you feel about him,” Linden quietly tells him in a soft voice.

“Trust me, Lin,” Chris says as he tries not to laugh; biting his lower lip.  “I’m fine.  It’s okay.”

Taking his phone out of his pocket, Chris pulls up Darren’s name and decides to send him a text.

**Chris: 8:10**

**This is very rude of you.**

_Darren: 8:10_

_Rude?  I'm just wearing my present.  It's nice of me._

Even through the text, Chris can hear the mischief that would be in Darren's voice.  He can practically see the curl of Darren's lip in a smirk without having to look up.

**Chris: 8:11**

**You did it on purpose, Mr. Criss.**

_Darren: 8:12_

_Not purpose.  This tie is nice; fit my outfit.  And don't call me that, Christopher._

**Chris: 8:12**

**It is nice, and does look lovely on you.**

_Darren: 8:13_

_Thank you._

**Chris: 8:13**

**You're welcome.**

**Chris: 8:14**

**And you can punish me after graduation for that “accidental” slip. ;)**

Chris snorts when he hears Darren choke and try to cover it up with a cough.  Oh, yeah, he thinks, payback is fun.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Mmm," Chris sighs against Darren's lips.  "I have to go."

It’s several weeks after getting his cast removed, and Chris couldn’t be happier to have it gone.  To be able to run his fingers of both his hands through Darren’s curls is so much better.  That’s how Chris finds himself currently sitting in Darren’s lap running his fingers through his soft curls as they make out.

"No.  You have to stay."  Darren grabs his hips and keeps him from leaving.

"No," Chris giggles as he shakes his head.  "I have to go before I get in trouble.  It is after all, Mr. Criss, a school night."

"Don't call me that," Darren playfully reprimands him, lightly smacking Chris on the ass.

Chris grins.  "And if I do?  Will you smack my ass again?"

"Do you want to find out?"  Darren asks in a tone of voice that is part teasing and part serious; corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk.

"Of course I want to find out," Chris leans in and whispers into Darren's ear, "Mr. Criss."

Suddenly, he finds himself lying over Darren's lap.  Its sad how turned on he gets that Darren did that so effortlessly without him really realizing.  Bracing his forearms on the couch, arching his back and sticking his ass up some, Chris is ready for whatever Darren is going to do to him.

"Wow, Chris," Darren laughs.  "Don't make it so obvious that you enjoyed that."

"So what if I did."  Chris wiggles his hips, looking over his shoulder and grinning at Darren.  "You gonna do it again, or not?"

Chris feels the lite smack Darren places on his ass.  "I think not."  Darren smirks at him.

"You're terrible," Chris teases as he rolls off Darren's lap and stands up off the couch.  Grabbing the back of the couch, he bends down and kisses Darren.  "I gotta go.  Promised Hannah I would watch a movie with her."

"Okay."  Darren gives a gentle squeeze to Chris' hip before letting him go.  "I guess I'll see you tomorrow in class."

"Definitely.  Bye."

"Bye."

When he closes his front door behind him, turning to hang his keys up, Chris stops at the envelope sitting on the table.  Addressed to him, with the school name in the corner, he knows what it is.  Grabbing it with shaking hands, he holds it tightly and walks to his room.

Sitting on the edge of his bed and just staring at the envelope for several minutes, as if it's an animal he doesn't know what to do with, he delays opening it.  This single envelope will change his future in so many ways.  He's just not ready to know in which way.  But he knows he has to get it over with.

Turning the envelope over and breaking the seal, he desperately prays it says what he wants.  Pulling out the paper and unfolding it, he reads what it says.  Dropping it to the floor, tears filling his eyes and spilling over, he doesn't move.  He does nothing.

It's all a shock.  After everything, it all came down to a single reply.  It doesn't seem real; it feels like a dream and a nightmare all at once.  He's not sure how he should feel about feeling that way, because this changes a lot of things.

"Chris, honey?"  He hears his mom softly say as she steps into his room however much later.  "What did it say?"

Standing up and facing her, wiping away the tear that rolls down his cheek, he smiles at her.  "I got in."

The yell of delight his mom releases makes him laugh.  Soon, arms are wrapping around him and pulling him close.

"This is good.  Why are you crying, sweetie?" his mom whispers into his ear.

"I'm just excited," he mumbles in reply.

It's not a complete lie.  He is excited and thrilled he was accepted.  But now he thinks about what happens because of his acceptance.

The real reason he's crying is because the moment he found out he got accepted all he could think about was Darren, and her.  The fear of what happens to Darren and he suddenly gripped him; it became that much more of a reality that what they share is in danger.  He's moving and Darren will be here.  He remembers how Darren said he doesn't like long-distance relationships.  So with him being accepted to the school, it brings up a major problem for them.

Then he thinks about leaving his mom here with just Hannah so soon after his dad died.

“Mom?” he quietly whispers.

“Yeah, sweetie?” she says.

“Is this okay?  Are you okay with me leaving so soon after daddy?”  Chris asks, looking up at his mom as tears fill his eyes.

Chris feels as his mom cups the sides of his face, gently stroking her thumb over his cheek.  “Don’t do that, Chris,” she tells him.  “This is great news.  Don’t try to lessen it.  I’ll be fine with you going.  I know you’ll be a few hours away for me to visit any time I want to.  I won’t be losing you, sweetie.”

“Thanks, Mom.”  Chris smiles, feeling her wipe away the tear that rolls down his cheek.

 

"I'm gonna call everybody and tell them!" his mom excitedly and enthusiastically says.

"Okay."  Chris laughs, sitting back on his bed.  Wiping away his tears, he does his best not to think about what this will mean for Darren and he.

~

Linden screams and throws herself into his arms.  Of course she is excited for him, obvious by her display of emotions.  But she's extra ecstatic about his acceptance since that puts him closer to where she is going.  They'll only be a few hours apart.  But a few hours is better than a few states.

"This is perfect.  We can still see each other on weekends."  Linden takes Chris' hand and swings their clasped hands together as she practically skips down the hall.

"Were you that worried about it?"  Chris chuckles as they turn the corner to go to class.

"Yes."  Linden nods her head.  "You're my best friend.  I want to be able to see you other than on holidays and summer break."

Completely understanding, Chris lets go of her hand when they walk into class.  Seeing Darren sitting behind his desk, he walks up to him.

"Hey, Chris," Darren says as he stands up.

"I have something to tell you," Chris whispers so no one hears.

"Me too.  After class."

Agreeing, Chris walks back to his seat.  Sitting down, he looks to Linden to still find a happy smile on her face.

By the time the bell rings to signal the end of class, Chris is a nervous mess over telling Darren.  He knows he'll be happy for him.  But then the reality of what that means will set in.  And he's not sure if can deal with what Darren is going to say or do.

Staying behind by slowly shuffling papers and stuffing them in his bag, straightening his desk, he heads over to Darren's desk once the last kid is gone.

"So, what's your news?"  Chris lays the strap of his bag across his chest, bag resting against his hip.

"You first."  Darren barely sits on the edge of his desk, legs out in front of him and ankles crossed, arms crossed over his chest.  He wears his glasses, Chris figuring he wasn't in the mood to deal with contacts today.

Chris likes it better when Darren wears glasses.  It makes him more sophisticated looking.  And sexy.  Plus, something about his eyes seem to shine more behind the lenses.

Taking a deep breath, Chris tells him the news.  "I got accepted to UCLA."

It's the smallest of changes.  He's positive nobody else would notice it.  He only notices it because he's been around Darren more than any other person he knows; seen it happen when he was the one that had to remind him that they couldn't do anything beyond kissing.

"Dare?" he says nervously.

"That's great, Chris!"  Darren excitedly tells him, losing that look in his eyes as quickly as it came.  "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."  Chris smiles, and then remembers Darren had something to tell him as well.  "What did you have to tell me?" he asks.

"Oh.  Nothing."  Darren shakes his head.  "It's not important anymore."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."  Darren nods his head.

"Alright."

"How about you come over Saturday and we can celebrate the big news?"  Darren suggests.  "I'll even take you out on a proper date."

"Did I just hear you say take me out?"  Chris playfully teases.

"Yes.  It would be someplace an hour or two away.  But it would be a date outside my house."

"That sounds perfect."  Chris smiles at him.  "I have to go.  Don't want to be late for class.  Bye, Dare."

~

Closing Darren's front door behind him Saturday night, Chris hangs up his coat.  "I'll be down in a sec," Darren yells down to him. 

"Okay."  Walking to the kitchen, he pulls open the fridge and grabs a can of Sprite.  Popping the tab and taking a long drink, he sees the lone piece of paper on the breakfast bar.

Setting the can down and taking the few steps to the bar, and out of curiosity, he grabs it to see what it says.

Reading the letter, getting more and more upset with each line that passes, Chris wants to ball it up and throw it away.  He doesn't understand; he's confused and angry.  Reading what he did, he doesn't get why Darren didn't tell him.  Why couldn't he have said something in the days since he received the letter?  Why couldn't he have said something, anything to…Suddenly, it hits him.  It's then that Chris remembers Darren saying he had something to tell him as well when he had his news to share.

But it still doesn't make sense.  Why not bring it up then?  Why lie about what he had to say?  He doesn't understand why Darren did what he did.  It makes him frustrated and worried just thinking about what this could mean for them.

Hearing Darren coming down the stairs, composing himself some, he gets ready for some answers to the million questions he just had.

Darren walks up to the breakfast bar with a grin on his face.  "Hey, Chr-"

"That's what you were going to tell me the other day, isn't it?"  Chris doesn't let him finish speaking as he pushes the paper to Darren, noticing his eyes go wide with surprise.  "You're leaving?!"  He's mad, livid over this, there's no other way to put it.  To find out Darren is planning to leave, and he didn't even have the decency to tell him about it.  It angers and frustrates him.

"No!...No.  I haven't even given my reply," Darren informs him.  "I just got the letter the other day."

"Why would you apply?"  The anger and frustration and confusion Chris feels starts to spill into his voice.

"This place isn't for me, Chris.  I...can't stay here."

"That's not what you said at the beginning of the school year.  You said what you wanted was here," Chris reminds him.

"I meant...Dammit, Chris, I meant you.  You're the reason I came back; the reason I gave up New York."

That admission shocks Chris out of his anger.  It was the last thing he expected to hear.

"Y-You gave up New York for...me?"  Chris asks with surprise.  He doesn't understand why Darren would do that.  "Why?"

"Like I said: What I wanted was here," Darren quietly responds.  "I tried so hard to not see you as anything but my student last year.  But, I failed."  Darren shrugs his shoulders and nervously chuckles.  "You just...amazed me like no other student I've taught before.  You were smart and gorgeous, which you still are," he is quick to add.  "You had these eyes that would look at me like they knew me."

Any anger Chris might have felt melts away as Darren talks.  Replaced by it are tears he tries to fight back.

"I felt myself slowly wanting to do things I shouldn't have.  I no longer wanted to be your teacher.  It's one of the big reasons I applied for the job in New York.  And when you told me how you felt about me, I saw how easy it could have been for us to be together.  I fought against that, though, and knew I had to lie to you.  The rest you know."

"No, I don't."  Chris shakes his head, wiping away the tear that fell.  "What happened in New York?"

"New York."  Darren huffs and then takes a deep breath.  "I tried to move on from how I felt about you while there.  I tried dating, but it was to no avail.  I tried forgetting how I felt about you.  But I couldn't.  You were everything I thought.  So, I knew I had to come back and try."

"Why wait as long as you did to tell me?"

"I was nervous and scared.  I tried a couple of times to say something during our Wednesday lunches, but I would chicken out at the last second. And then your dad died and I knew I couldn't say anything while you were so broken and vulnerable; when you needed time to heal.  Then the Halloween dance happened."

Chris smiles at the memories of that night.  "You kissed me," he recalls, still feeling that kiss and how amazing it was.  "It made me happier than anything in weeks.  I felt...alive."

"I kissed you because it was all I could think about; I wanted you to know the truth about how I felt.  I, also, wanted something good to happen to you after the cards you had been dealt."

"You gave me something amazing."

"It was one of the best moments of my life, so far.  I knew when I kissed you that I wanted to do it for as long as I could."

"I don't get it, then.  Why apply for a job on the other side of the country?  Why leave?"

"Did you look at where the school was?"  Darren questions.

"In New Jersey.  Why?"

"Not just New Jersey," Darren says.  "Close to Princeton.  Where you applied."

"And?"  Chris says confused.

"I told you, Chris: this place isn't for me.  I wasn't gonna stay here with you gone."

"You were gonna go with me if I got accepted?"  Chris mumbles, realizing what Darren is trying to say.

"Yes."

"Does that mean...?"  Chris doesn't finish the question, too thrilled and hopeful at what this means.

"Yes, I applied at a school near UCLA."  Darren grins at him as he wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him close.  "I just haven't heard back from them, yet."

"When do you hear back?"

"I'm not sure."  Darren shrugs his shoulders.  "After you told me about UCLA, I found no need to tell you about being given the job at this school.  Since you weren't going there, neither am I."

The thought that Darren is willing to pack up his life and go with him when he leaves makes Chris happier than he can remember. To have Darren by his side will easier and more bearable.  It won't be him alone in a new place.  But the thought of possibly having to go alone hits him.  It terrifies and scares him.  It makes his heart race with worry over being by himself in an unknown place.

"What if it doesn't happen?" he worriedly questions, looking at Darren with concern.

"If what doesn't happen?"  Darren asks.

"What if you don't get the job?  What if you have to take the job in New Jersey?  You said yourself you don't like long distance relationships.  What if I'm there and you're somewhere else?"  Chris starts to panic over what could be.

"Chris!  Chris!"  Darren says as he holds him close to calm him down.  Chris finds comfort in Darren's tight, warm embrace.  "I know what I said.  Yes, I don't like long distance relationships.  They almost always end bad.  But..."  Darren trails off.

Chris feels himself hanging on to that but, clinging to it like a safety line to keep him alive.  He needs to know what it means that Darren said that; he needs him to finish his thought.  "But what?" he mumbles.

"But, I'm willing to do it for you, if it comes down to that," Darren quietly tells him in his ear.  "Even if that means staying here to be closer to you."

"Give up New Jersey?"

"Yes."

It's crazy how much Darren is willing to sacrifice for him.  So far, he has yet to give up anything so they can be together.  It makes him feel selfish and mean.  "You keep giving up things for me," he says, "but I haven't.  I'm getting everything I want, and you're losing, or jeopardizing, things you want or have."  Taking a deep breath, Chris stares into Darren's eyes and knows he has to say this.  He wants to make Darren happy.  "Don't give up New Jersey for me.  Take the job if that's what you really want.  If-"

"I want you," Darren interjects, looking surprised and confused.  "I don't care if I have to stay here.  As long as I'm closer to you, I'm fine."

"I know that's what you say, but...I can't do that to you.  I don't want you staying somewhere just for me.  If you have the opportunity, take the job in New Jersey."  Chris can already feel heartache at the thought of Darren and he possible being on opposite ends of the country.  But he knows it would be the right thing; if Darren is happy, he's happy.  It would be frightening to be by himself, but he knows he could do it if he knew he had Darren to comfort and support him, even if they are miles apart.

"You're willing to do that for me?"  Darren whispers, sounding shocked.

"Yes."  Chris nods his head.  "If it comes down to it, I know we would do everything to get through a long distance relationship."

"You're amazing," Darren whispers against his lips before kissing him.

Chris pulls in a deep breath after Darren ends the kiss.  "I love you," he says on the exhale of breath.  It's the first time he's said it since he first told Darren almost a year before.  The moment he says the words, though, he realizes what he said and tenses in Darren's arms.

He feels like an idiot now.  Why would he say that?  Why couldn't he bite his tongue from uttering those words?  Now Darren probably feels uncomfortable because he said that.  He never meant to tell Darren that like this.

Lips press to his in a soft, tender kiss.  Parting his lips and moaning when Darren gently thrust his tongue into his mouth, he figures Darren is choosing to ignore what he said. 

Pulling in a deep breath when Darren breaks the kiss and rests his forehead to his, Chris hopes they can forget what he said.

"I love you, too," Darren says above a whisper.

Realizing what Darren said, a jolt runs through Chris.  Pulling back and staring into Darren's stunning eyes, he feels like he has to pinch himself at the moment to convince himself he's not sleeping.

"Did you just say that?  Or am I imagining things?"  Chris twirls one of Darren's curls at the back of his head around his finger.

"Why?  What did you imagine?"  Darren slyly grins as he looks to him.

"Dare, what did you say?"  Chris says a bit annoyed, poking Darren in his stomach.  Hands wrap around his wrist and hold them tightly.  Only he could be told he's loved by the man he loves and have said man joking with him about what he heard.

"What do you think you heard?"  Darren nudges his nose against Chris'.

Getting a tad upset that Darren won't tell him, Chris yanks his hands away and turns to leave.  He doesn't want to start doubting himself on what he thought he heard.

Arms immediately wrap around his waist and pull him backwards. 

"I love you, Chris," Darren softly whispers into his ear.  "I love you.  I love you.  I love you."

"Really?"  Chris asks with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Yes."  Darren places a kiss at the side of his neck.  "I think I've loved you since that morning in the store."

"That long?"  Chris asks a bit surprised.

"Yes.  Maybe even before and I didn't realize it yet."

Looking over his shoulder at Darren, he feels his heart swell with love.  "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you, too."

The press of lips in a soft, gentle kiss has Chris turning in Darren's arms.  Deepening the kiss, he drapes an arm over his shoulders and melts into his touch.

They never do make their date.  But Chris doesn't mind.  Kissing Darren for several hours is better than any date they could possibly go on.

"Sorry we didn't go out," Darren mumbles against his lips a few hours later as they lie on the couch.

"Trust me," Chris pulls back to gaze into Darren's eyes filled with love as they look at him.  "It's perfectly fine.  Besides, after what you said, I'd rather be alone with you."

Pressing even closer to Darren's body, nudging their noses together, and giggling, Chris finds himself happier to be in Darren's arms than out on a date and still be worried over being seen by someone they know.

"You're eighteenth birthday is coming up in several weeks," Darren quietly says.  "Is there anything you want?"

"For you to fuck me," Chris seriously replies, but with a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"I guess I walked right into that one."

"Anyways," Chris skims his finger over Darren's lips, "I don't need anything.  You don't have to buy me a present.  I have everything I could want."

"Oh, yeah?"  Darren smiles.  "What's that?"

"My beauty.  My health.  My youth.  My, obvious, healthy sex drive.  And nothing else, really," Chris sarcastically replies.

"Oh!  You think you're so funny."  Darren grabs at Chris' wrists and rolls onto him, pressing his body down on Chris'.

"Alright," Chris sighs, pretending to be annoyed.  "I guess I have you."

"That's right.  You do have me," Darren sincerely says with love in his voice.  He leans down and brushes his lips over Chris', whispering against them, "You’ll always have me.  I love you."

"I love you, too."

Chris sighs when Darren leans down and tenderly kisses him.

~

The next few weeks fly by in a blur of complete and utter happiness for Chris.  Almost all his free time is spent with Darren.  Just simply being with him is enough to make him happy, but to hear him utter those words into his ear, catching him by surprise each time, makes Chris’ heart soar, and a smile to spread across his face.  He’s not sure how many times they’ve told each other that they love each other after saying it the first time.  But he does know it will never be enough; he will never tire of saying those words to Darren, and for Darren to tell him.

But right now, Linden next to him, Chris just thinks about how much he loves Darren as he listens to Linden complain about the field trip they’re about to take with their senior class.

"Think we can skip it?"  Linden leans over and whispers into Chris' ear.

Chris can hear how serious she is.  Standing next to her, watching everybody board the school bus in front of them, he looks to her and shakes his head.  "Too late.  I think we're stuck with going," he tells her.

Somehow, the school finds that the seniors field trip should be them going to the zoo for the day.  It's the stupidest idea ever considering most of the seniors would rather be spending their day doing something other than staring at animals.  But Chris went along with it for one reason and one reason only.  That reason stands just outside the bus checking off student's names before they climb on board.  Seeing Darren makes Chris’ heart stop at how gorgeous he is, and how much he loves him.

"It's so hot, though," Linden whines as she pushes her sunglasses up on her nose.  "Why do we have to something that involves being outside for hours?"

"It's the zoo, Lin," Chris laughs.  "It won't be too bad.  Plus, you spend hours at the beach.  Same difference."

"Not the same difference.  At least then I can wear a bikini and have fun in the water, and build sandcastles."  Chris snickers at the idea that Linden still loves building sandcastles after all these years.  Where some girls her age lie out on a towel and tan, she dumps sand into a bucket to build stuff like the nine year old he remembers.  "I should have stayed home," she grumbles.  "Why can't I at least be on the same bus as Matthew?"

"I'm going to poke you if you continue to bug me."

"Abusive," Linden jokes as she laughs.

"Linden!  Chris!"  Looking up at hearing their names called, Chris smiles at Darren standing there staring at them.  "Time to go."

"Come on, grumpy," Chris teases as he grabs Linden's hand and drags her towards the bus.  "We have a bus to catch."

"Ugh!"

Chris laughs as he pushes Linden onto the bus, winking at Darren before he steps on.

~

"Why the zoo?"  Chris plops himself down next to Darren on the bench he's sitting on a few hours later.  Opening his lunch bag, he pulls out the bag of Fruit Loops he packed.  "I never understood that," he states as he eats a handful of the sugary cereal.

"Apparently it lets you guys be kids again for a day, or something.  It's fun and different."  Darren looks at him and grins.  "You're not having fun?"

"Oh, I'm having fun.  It was beyond thrilling to watch the monkeys pick fleas off each other.  Or watch as the tigers just laid there and did nothing," Chris jokes, enjoying when Darren laughs.  "It's definitely a field trip to remember."

"Don't think I didn't see you and Linden sneakily throwing candy to the monkeys."

"I don't know what you're talking about."  Chris plays coy and acts like he's innocent.  It was one of the few things Linden got a big kick out of doing so far in the day.  Chris remembers how hard she laughed.  "Me and Linden would never."

"Linden and I."  Chris hears Linden correct him as she sits down beside him.  "And what would we never do?  Hey, Mr. Criss."

"Hello, Linden."

"Okay, smartie," Chris teases, holding out the bag of Fruit Loops so Linden can grab some.  "D-...Mr. Criss here says he saw us feeding the monkeys."

"Who knew they'd like Skittles so much," Linden says with an air of surprise.

"Linden," Chris laughs.  "We're supposed to act innocent."

"Oh!  Right."  She looks to Darren and innocently smiles.  "Sorry, Mr. Criss, I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's fine, guys," Darren chuckles.  "Just make sure you don't do it again.  Don't want the zoo mad at us."

Grinning and shaking his head, Chris pulls out the sandwich he packed.  Undoing the plastic wrap, taking a bite of his PB&J, he huffs when Linden grabs his hand and takes her own bite of his sandwich.  "Where's your lunch?"  Pulling his hand away, and playfully sticking his tongue out at Linden, he makes sure his food is out of reach from her.

"Matthew's buying it right now," Linden explains.  "But I'm hungry; and your sandwich looks delicious."

"Well, too bad, thief.  This is mine."  Purposely taking a big bite of his sandwich as he stares right at Linden, and adding more emphasis on how good it is by moaning, hearing Darren choke on and spit out whatever he's drinking behind him, he winks at Linden and smirks.

"I hate you."  She pouts.

"No, you don't," he says around the mouthful of food he has.  "You love and tolerate me."

"Sad but true."  Linden pulls out her phone when it buzzes.  "Seems my lunch is waiting for me.  See you later."

"Bye."  Watching Linden walk away, Chris turns back to Darren with a smirk.  "Don't think I didn't hear you choke on your drink earlier, mister."

"That was your fault," Darren teasingly accuses.  "Perhaps you shouldn't make noises like that that catch me off guard."

"Off guard, huh?  What does it make you want to do?"

"Things I'm not allowed to do to you just yet."

"Man!"  Chris huffs as he stares into Darren's dazzling eyes.  "I really want to kiss you right now."

"I really want to kiss you right now, too."  Chris blushes as he sees Darren dart his eyes to his lips.  "You make it difficult for me to be in public when I'm around you."

"I'm not sorry."

"Don't be."

"Hello, Darren," Ms. DuBois says as she comes and seats herself between Darren and Chris.

Chris quietly snickers as she turns her body to Darren, completely ignoring him.

"Hello, Brooke," Darren kindly greets her as he puts some space between them.

"You know," Brooke says as she reaches out and places a hand on Darren's knee, "I was thinking after this whole field trip craziness is over you and I can go grab a bite to eat."

Biting his lower lip to hold in the laughter wanting to escape his mouth, seeing the small amount of fear cross Darren's face, Chris finds himself enjoying his boyfriend being hit on right in front of him.  The fact that it's Ms. DuBois, and that she never gives up, makes it that much better.

"Um..." Darren stammers a little, Chris seeing him trying to formulate a good enough lie to get out of that.  "I...I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm busy."

"Oh, you're always busy," Brooke whines.  Without looking, Chris can guess she is pouting.  "You never have time for me."

"I wasn't aware I was supposed to make time for you," Darren replies with a hint of confusion.

"Well, you're not.  But," Brooke scoots closer, Darren moving away until his back hits the arm rail, "I would really like to spend time with you."

Mentally gagging, Chris knows he's heard enough.  "I think I'm gonna go to the snake exhibit."  Standing up and grabbing his trash, he smiles at Brooke who looks like she just realized he was there.  "Bye, Ms. DuBois.  Mr. Criss."

"Bye," Brooke replies.

Looking at Darren whose eyes scream "Help me!" and seems he wants out of there, he winks at him when Brooke turns back to him.

Walking away and throwing his trash away, he pulls out his phone.  Pulling up Darren's number, he decides to rescue him.

**Chris:  12:34**

**Hey, handsome.  I'm here to help.  Say it's your mom and she needs to talk, and then excuse yourself.**

It takes several seconds for his phone to buzz with a reply.

_Darren:  12:35_

_I love you so much right now.  Thank you!_

Answering his phone when it rings a couple minutes later, he doesn't need to look to know who it is.  "Are you safe?"

"I'm out of the clutches of Brooke's perfectly painted claws," Darren tells him.  "Are you still heading to the snake exhibit?"

"Yeah.  I'm walking in right now."  Opening the door, a cool blast of air immediately hitting him, Chris goes up to the first glass exhibit holding a snake.  Placing his hand on the glass, he looks at the snake currently hanging over a tree limb.  "Do you want to meet in the bathroom and make out?" he asks as he taps his finger against the glass.

"Are you actually propositioning your teacher to make out while on a field trip?"  Darren laughs into the phone.

"Yes," Chris replies without guilt.  "So, you want to meet me in five minutes?"  Looking over to where Darren is standing in front of a exhibit a few feet down, he can see the nervous blush forming on his cheeks.  "You up for it or not?"

"As tempting and great as that offer sounds, I think I'll have to pass for right now," Darren answers him.  "How about stop by later at my house and we can make out then."

"It's a date.  Much better than the one Brooke was offering," Chris jokes as he stays where he's at and watches as Darren slowly makes his way to him.

"So much better."  Chris hears and sees Darren reply, eyes trained on him.

The way Darren is looking at him at the moment makes him feel like he's being hunted by one of these snakes in the exhibit.  The hunger and desire and lust filling his darkened eyes has him feeling like an unsuspecting mouse about to be attacked.  Only Chris wouldn't mind the attack; he would welcome it like a desert seeking rain.

He knows these next two weeks will be long and torturous.

"Stop looking at me like that."  He breathes heavy and tries to get all thoughts of Darren and he naked in bed out of his mind.

"Like what?"  Darren stops several inches from him and ends the call.  His voice is low and deep; a smirk on his lips like he knows exactly what he's doing to Chris at the moment.

"Stop looking at me like you want to devour me," Chris says with an unsteady voice; heart racing in his chest.

"I do want to devour you, Chris," Darren whispers under his breath so no one around them can hear.  "Every.  Single.  Inch.  Of.  You."

Trying so desperately not to get hard in a snake exhibit at a fucking zoo where there are elementary school kids around, Chris tries to focus on anything but Darren.  But the smell of oranges floods his senses, it makes him momentarily dizzy and fills him with desire and need.

"Oh, God," he quietly groans with a hitch to his voice.  Clenching his hands into fist to stop from reaching out and splaying them on Darren's chest, he tries to get his feelings under control.  It takes a few deep breaths to do just that.

"I like you all flustered and bothered," Darren teases as he smirks at Chris.  "Makes you cuter."

"Um, excuse me, Darren."

Looking when Darren turns around at his name being called, Chris finds Mrs. Hamilton standing there looking a bit worried.  Although he still wants to be alone with Darren, he's grateful for the distraction at the moment.

"Yes, Mrs. Hamilton?"  Darren politely says.

"I need your help with a few students.  They won't stop acting up."

"Alright.  Well," he says as he looks at Chris and grins.  "It was lovely talking snakes with you, Chris.  Bye."

"Bye," Chris replies, watching Darren walk off with Mrs. Hamilton.

Unlocking his phone when it buzzes with a message a few moments later.

_Darren: 12:48_

_Now you know I felt earlier. ;)_

**Chris: 12:49**

**I hate you.**

_Darren: 12:50_

  1. _Then come hate me at my house at six._



**Chris: 12:50**

**Deal. :)**

~

Groaning when Darren pushes him away, like he always does when it starts to get too hot and heavy, Chris falls back on the couch with a huff.  They've been making out for who knows how long.

He came over earlier like Darren asked, and he barely gave Darren any warning before he was jumping into his arms and hungrily kissing him.  Darren carried him to his living room and fell on to the couch with him where they lost track of time as they made up for what happened at the zoo earlier.

Even though it didn't go past making out and some heavy petting, Chris was desperate for it to.  He wanted more; his body craved the touch of Darren on every inch of his skin.  He wants bare skin on bare skin.

"I hate school," he grumpily complains as Darren climbs off the couch.

He takes the few seconds alone to compose himself after what just happened.

"Well, you're almost finished with it," Darren tells him from the kitchen.  "Soon the horrors of high school will be behind you."

"That's not why I mainly hate it right now."  Sitting up and crossing his legs, Chris takes the glass of water Darren offers him when he sits down beside him.  "It's keeping me from jumping your bones at the current moment."

"Jumping my bones," Darren recites with a chuckle.  "You say such nice things to me."

"What can I say, I'm a romantic."

Setting his glass on the table after taking a drink, Chris lies down, resting his head in Darren's lap.  Gazing up at him, he reaches up and runs his finger along Darren's lower lip.  "Have you heard from the school yet?" he asks, sounding hopeful and hesitant.  He wants to know if Darren heard from the school, but at the same time he's terrified of finding out he didn't get the job.  Being separated from him will be too much for him to handle, even if it's a few hours apart.  But then he thinks about the possibility of Darren taking the job in New Jersey, and that terrifies him more.

"No."  Darren shakes his head as he runs his fingers through Chris' hair.  "Not yet."

"Do you know when?"

"It should be soon."

"I hope you get it."  Chris leans forward and nuzzles his face in Darren's belly.

"Me too," Darren agrees with a smile.


	10. Chapter 10

The fact that his birthday is exactly one week from when he graduates always makes Chris laugh.  He's not sure if he should laugh from the irony of it, or not.  But he laughs.  To be of legal consent to be with Darren, but still be his student is funnier than any joke he's heard lately.

At school the day before his eighteenth birthday, Linden gives him a single cupcake with a candle.  Chocolate frosting is spread on top as a blue candle with white stripes going in a swirl down around it sits sticking out in the middle.  The flame flickers as Linden holds the cupcake, the heat of the fire melting the wax, and making run down the side of the candle, drying solid again before it reaches the frosting.

"Make a wish," Linden tells him when he takes it.

Closing his eyes and making a wish, Chris blows out the candle.  "Thank you, Lin."  Swiping his finger through the icing and gathering some, he eats it, loving the sweet taste on his tongue.

"Now, I know you said no presents," she says as she grabs a bag from her locker before closing it.  "But I couldn't resist."

"Of course," Chris teases her as he takes the proffered bag.  Pulling out blue tissue paper, he grabs what's inside.  Looking at it and seeing its a photo album, flipping through it to find pictures of Linden and him all through the years, he smiles.  It's a homemade photo album of Linden and his friendship for the past nine years.  Every page is dedicated to a specific shared moment between them; decorated with stickers, and little notes in Linden's handwriting.  Grazing his fingers over a page of pictures from when Linden and he attempted summer camp together one year, Chris beams.  "I love it."

"Good," Linden says with joy.  "Because it took forever to put together.  I went through tons of pictures of us."

Walking alongside her to class, looking at pictures of them from when they were younger, he shuts it when they reach Darren's class.  "Reliving old memories," he says when he sits down.

"Yeah."  Linden chuckles and nods her head.  "Remember when we dressed up as Raggedy Anne and Andy for Halloween when we were little?"

"Oh, my God!  Don't remind me, Lin."

"There's a picture of us like that in there."

Flipping through the pages, Chris burst out laughing at finding the picture of Linden and him from that Halloween nine years ago.  "We look so stupid," he laughs, covering the picture with his hands.  "I might take this one out."

"You better not!"  Linden chides him.  "It stays there."

"Fine.  Fine."  Closing the photo album, he leans over and gives Linden a kiss on her cheek.  "I really do love it.  I'll take it when I leave; have something to remember you by."

"You act like we'll never see each other again."  Linden faces straight after she says that when Darren calls the class to order.  "We'll still see each other all the time."

"Promise?"  Chris grins at her.

"Promise," she repeats, winking back at him.

Since they have less than a week left of school, and Darren has no reason to give them work, he allows them to do whatever they want as long as they keep the noise level to a minimum.  Flipping through the photo-album when Linden pulls out her phone and starts to text Matthew, he quietly chuckles at some of the pictures she put in the album.  There's one of him in bed viciously hugging Linden after not seeing her for a month while she was away on a family vacation.

"Chris."  Looking up when Darren calls his name, he arches an eyebrow at him.  "Will you come up here for a second?"

"Sure."  Closing the album, Chris stands up and walks up to Darren's desk.  Standing there smiling down at him, feeling desire curl in his belly for the man he loves, but still hating he has to wait over a week to be with him.  "Yes?" he innocently asks.

"Will you sit down for a moment."

Grabbing a chair and pulling it up next to the desk by Darren, sitting down, Chris places his elbow on the desk.  Resting his chin in his hand, he lovingly stares at Darren.  "You gonna tell me why I'm up here?  Or do I have to guess?" he teases.

"Am I still seeing you tomorrow?"  Darren whispers as he glances to the other students to make sure they are busy doing their own thing, and not listening in on the conversation.

"Yes.  But my mom is taking me out to dinner first.  I'll come over afterwards," Chris tells him.

"What kind of cake do you like?"

"Oh, man.  I live for German Chocolate cake.  Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Okay."  Chris gives him a look that says he knows what he's thinking.

"Any place in particular you prefer it from?"

Chris tells him of a bakery that he visits every once in a while to buy their German Chocolate cupcakes.  "If I were a sinner, I would become a glutton in a second over those cupcakes."

"That's good to know."  Darren winks before turning his attention back to the papers in front of him.

Chris easily guesses there's going to be some German Chocolate cake in his near future.  When Darren looks back to him, Chris mouths I love you to him, biting his lip to keep from laughing when a blush stains Darren's cheeks.  As easy as Darren can make him blush, Chris loves when he's able to do it to Darren.  He rarely gets that reaction out of him, but when he does, he savior a the adorable look that falls over Darren's face.

"Go back to your seat, Chris," Darren playfully demands of him, waving him off.

~

Sitting across from his mom after finishing his meal, Hannah next to him still pushing her peas around on her plate.  Chris smiles at his mom.  "Thanks for dinner, Mom," he tells her as he reaches for his glass of water.

"You're welcome.  Now," she says as she grabs something next to her, "this is for you."

"Mom, I told y-"

"I know.  You said no presents."  She grins at him as she holds out an envelope.  "This is more of a...helping hand.  It's what your father would have wanted."

Confused by that, Chris takes the envelope from his mom.  Opening the envelope, he pulls out a folded piece of paper inside.  Unfolding it, shocked at what it is, he looks at his mom with his mouth slightly open in surprise.  "Mom, I can't take this."  He tries to hand back the check, but his mom refuses to take it, shoving his hand away.

"It's enough for the first two years at UCLA," she tells him.  "After your father passed, his life insurance was more than I needed.  I know you could use it.  I don't want you to have to worry too much about tuition."

Standing up and going over to her, he wraps his arms around her and hugs her tightly, feeling safe when she hugs back just as tightly.  "Thanks, Mom," he whispers into her ear.

"It's the least I could do, sweetie," she softly replies.

Letting go and checking the time on his phone, figuring he'll have at least two hours to be with Darren if he leaves now.  Putting his phone in his pocket, he grabs his keys.  "I'm gonna go."  Hugging his mom once more, he goes over to Hannah and gives her a hug.

"Where you going, sweetie?" his mom asks as she sits back down.

"Just out for an hour of two."  He hates lying to his mom, but he knows he has to.  It's safer than telling her the truth.  "I think I'm going to go get a some of my favorite cake from that bakery."

"Alright.  Be careful, and don't come home too late," she reminds him.

"I won't."

~

"Happy birthday," Darren mumbles as Chris continues to kiss him after letting himself inside.

"Thanks."  Chris starts to kiss along his jaw.

"You want your present now, or after dessert?"

"You didn't have to buy me anything."

"I know," Darren says with a shrug of his shoulders and a smile.  "But I wanted to."

"You're amazing."  Chris languidly kisses him.  "And after dessert because I want some cake."

"Well, you're in luck, because I got your favorite."  Darren takes his hand and leads him to the kitchen, stopping in front of the breakfast bar.

Sitting down and watching Darren go grab the box of cupcakes on the counter, Chris happily grins when a German Chocolate cupcake is set down in front of him.  "You're the best, and I love you," he says as he picks up the cupcake.  Peeling back the liner, he takes a big bite.  "Oh, this is heaven," he says around the food in his mouth.

Offering Darren a bite when he sits down next to him, Chris leans over, grabbing Darren's chin, and slowly licks away the smudge of icing above the corner of his mouth.  "Delicious," he whispers against Darren's lips.

"Me or the cupcake?"  Darren reaches out and grabs at Chris' hips, pulling him onto his lap.

"Both."  Straddling Darren's lap, leaning in to kiss him, draping his arms over his shoulders, Chris softly moans when Darren gently delves his tongue past his parted lips.  Massaging their tongues together, need and want stirring in his belly, he knows they're going to have to stop and cool off soon.

A few moments later Darren pulls away trying to catch his breath.  "I think I should go grab your present."

"I think you should stay so I can continue kissing you."  Chris chases Darren's mouth and kisses him for a few seconds longer.

"Chris," Darren mumbles between kisses, "you have to stop."

"Make me."  Chris grins against Darren's lips, staring into his eyes as he flicks the tip of his tongue over Darren's top lip.  Closing his eyes and deepening the kiss, running his fingers through Darren's curls, faintly moaning as Darren pulls him closer, Chris starts to hope that, maybe, this will go where he wants it to.

"No," Darren tells him as if reading his mind.

Chris pulls back and looks at him confused, but a small smirk to his lips.  "No, what?"

"I know what you're thinking, Chris.  It's not happening."  Darren carefully pushes at Chris' hips until he's off his lap.  "I'll go get your present now."

Grabbing his unfinished cupcake after Darren walks away, Chris walks over to the couch.  Sitting down, he finishes his dessert while waiting for Darren to return.

Licking the icing on his thumb away when he finishes his cupcake a few moments later, he releases a small squeak when lips press to the back of his neck.  "Mmm," he moans, "I like this present already."

"Close your eyes," Darren tells him.

Doing as he's told, going when Darren takes his hand and tugs him up, smiling when he kisses him, he stands there waiting.  But when he feels something small placed in his open hand, his heart starts to wildly beat in his chest.  He knows it could be anything, but when he barely closes his fist around it, fingers grazing smooth felt, he has a good idea what it is he's holding.  "Dare?" he says slightly surprised.

"Open your eyes, Chris," Darren says.

Eyes opening, Chris' sight immediately goes to the small jewelry box in his palm.  Eyes darting between Darren and the box, nervous and excited, a smile spreads across his face.  Opening the black box, his mouth drops open at the ring in the box.  It's beautiful.  A simple silver band and nothing more.

Of course, he immediately goes to an engagement ring, and that has all kinds of things running through his head.

"It's not an engagement ring," Darren is quick to inform him after he's quiet for several moments.  "So, don't worry about answering a certain question tonight."

"Okay."  Chris doesn't say that he would have known the answer if Darren had asked; doesn't say that he had a little hope of him maybe asking him when he saw the ring nestled in the cushion.  "But it's a ring."

"Yeah, it's a ring."  Darren chuckles as he takes the box from Chris and pulls the ring out.  Setting the box aside, he takes Chris' right hand.  "It's more of a...promise ring," he says as he slides the ring on Chris' middle finger.

"Promise of what?" he asks as the ring comes to rest around his finger.

"Me promising to love you for as long as possible; until the stars burn out.  A promise to try and make you as happy as you make me.  A promise to always be there no matter what.  A promise to be yours forever."

Chris lifts his hand in front of his face, looking at the silver band around his finger.  Gazing at Darren, he grins.  "I love it.  I love you."

"I love you, too."

Capturing Darren's mouth in a slow, tender, languid kiss.  "I can't wear it, though," he whispers when he drops his forehead to Darren's.  "Not until next week."

"I know."  Darren pulls back a bit and grabs the hand with the ring.  Lifting Chris' hand, he places a kiss to the ring.  "I'm just happy to know you'll have it."

"I'll carry it with me until I can wear it."

"When I see you, I'll know.  I like that."

Chris gives Darren a quick kiss before looking at the ring on his finger.  "You know," he says as he looks up, voice gone deep, and filled with a certain desire.  "I'm eighteen and graduation is in a week."

"What are you trying to say?"  Darren arches an eyebrow.

"There's no harm in celebrating both a week early."

"I'm not fucking you, Chris."

"Who said anything about fucking?  I certainly didn't."  Chris tries to act innocent, making Darren chuckle.  "But...I wouldn't say no to, say, a handjob or something."

"Is that so?" 

Chris sighs as Darren nuzzles his nose in the curve of his neck, placing small kisses against his skin.  "Yeah, you know, a birthday present.  I'm eighteen, there's nothing wrong in us doing stuff together."

"You can ask for anything, and you ask for an orgasm."  Darren lifts his head and presses his mouth to Chris', both of them staring into the other's eyes.  "But I'm still your teacher."

"Only for three more days," Chris points out.

"Not happening, Christopher."

"You pull the Christopher card.  Harsh."  Chris arches an eyebrow.  "Fine, Mr. Criss, I don't want a handjob."  Giving Darren a quick peck, he starts to walk to the kitchen for something to drink.

Being pulled back to Darren when he grabs his wrist, Chris smiles when he presses a kiss to the side of his neck.  For a second, he thinks Darren might have changed his mind.

"Not happening, baby, so stop thinking about it," Darren whispers into his ear.

"Why?"  Chris looks over his shoulder at Darren.  "And if you loved me, you would give me a handjob."

"I do love you," Darren answers Chris' first question, but putting some space between them.  "And I'm not giving you a handjob because I love you."

"So chivalrous," Chris jokes.

"Not chivalrous.  Cautious."  Darren nuzzles his nose in the curve of Chris' neck.  "Only seven days, Chris.  Seven days."

"Tell me something I don't know."  Chris tips his head back and lets out breathy moan.

"After you have that diploma in your hand, I'm gonna be on you like it's nobody business."  Darren drops his hand to Chris' lower belly and sliding it under his shirt, splaying his fingers over warm flesh.

"What're you going to do?"  Chris turns his head and kisses Darren, flicking his tongue over his top lip.  "What are you going to do to me?"

"God, Chris," Darren groans.  "I want to kiss and touch every inch of your skin.  I want to get to know you in the most intimate and sensual way possible.  I can't wait to be inside you bringing you pleasure."  Chris pulls his lower lip into his mouth and moans when he thinks about that happening; feeling his jeans getter tighter.  "I want to make slow, sweet love to you for hours.  I want you for myself that night so I can show you just how much you drive me crazy with wanting to touch you in a way I can't yet."

Chris feels his dick twitch in interest at desperately already wanting that; at how desperate Darren sounds. He wants Darren inside him fucking him like he just said he would.  "Please," he whimpers, even though he doesn't know what he's begging for.  He just needs something.  Anything.

"I want to, Chris.  God, I want to," Darren groans into his ear.  "But I won't."

Letting out a deep sigh at not being able to get what he wants, Chris breathes.  It's all he can do at the moment to calm himself down.  If he doesn't, he knows he'll likely turn around and jump Darren.

“Come on,” Darren whispers into his ear.  “Let’s finish these cupcakes.”

~

Later that night lying in bed, hand held up in front of his face, Chris stares at the ring resting around his finger.  It catches the glow of the moon and glints.  The silver is beautiful against his pale skin.  Bringing his hand closer to his face, running his thumb over the metal, Chris can't help but to think how perfect the ring feels on his finger.  Almost as if it's meant to be there.  Which he knows it is.

He doesn't want to take it off.  Around his finger is where he wants to keep it.  But he knows if it were to stay there, he would be asked questions he couldn't answer.  It'd all be too difficult.  So it's safer, and easier, for him to just take it off for now like he told Darren.

Slipping the ring off his finger, Chris sets down on top of his phone.  Just staring at it under the light of the lamp, the sparkle, he thinks about what this means for Darren and he.  This ring means a future together for as long as possible.  Forever.  It means loving each other through everything life will hand them, and sticking by each other's sides.  And Chris can't wait for the next week when he can wear it.

~

The ceremony seems to drag on forever as Chris sits there waiting for all the people of his graduating class to walk across the stage and get their diplomas.  Relieved when he finally sees the last person walk across, he grabs his graduation cap.  Tossing his cap into the air after the principal congratulates all of them on graduating, trying to keep his eyes on his, but losing it in the mix of others in the air; Chris decides to look for Linden a few seats down from him.  "Congrats, Grad," he cheerfully congratulates her as he pulls her into a fierce hug.

"Can't believe we're finished," Linden says as she picks up a random cap from the ground.

"We're free of this place.  Well, in two months, at least."  Chris starts to unzip his graduation gown as he follows Linden out of the stadium.  Out in the hall, Chris notices Darren shaking hands and congratulating students walking up to him.  "I'll be back in a sec."

"Alright."  Linden nods her head.  "I'm gonna go find Matthew."

Draping his gown over his arm, Chris heads over to where Darren is.  "Hi," he says when he stops in front of him, corner of his mouth turning up into a smile.

"Hi."  Darren waves to someone behind Chris.  "Congratulations."

"Thanks.  So, um..."  Chris takes a glance at the blank piece of rolled up paper in his hands meant to be his diploma.  Funny how a ceremony and a piece of paper now make it able for him and Darren to be together without any worries or qualms.  There's no longer any fear of being caught, or getting in trouble.

But even though that is the case, they aren't in a rush to shout it to the community.  This is still their secret to share; still something Chris only wants one other person to know about.

"I'm telling Linden tonight," Chris finally says, reminding Darren.  "About us."

"Oh, man!"  Darren quietly sighs.  "I forget we're getting close to the revealing stage.  It's nerve wracking."

"We don't have tell everybody."  Chris takes a step closer to Darren, breathing in the smell of citrus.  "We can just leave with only telling a few important people."

"That would include your mom, right?"  Darren asks; Chris nods his head.  "She's going to kill me."

"No, she won't.  I'll make sure she doesn't bludgeon you with her rolling pin," Chris jokes to ease Darren's worries.  "Besides, that's still months away.  You should be thinking about later tonight."  Chris sees Darren relax considerably at the mention of their planned night together.  "I can't wait."

"Me either."

Almost eight months of waiting have led to this night; have led to them, finally, being together physically.  Chris can feel the anticipation growing, mounting between them for the upcoming night they will share.

"When can I expect you?"  Darren barely brushes his finger over Chris' stomach.

"Me and Linden have a dinner planned right about now," Chris quietly answers.  He feels a flutter in his stomach from where Darren's finger barely ghost over him.  "After.  I'll come by after."

"Okay."  Darren smiles and nods his head.  "I should let you go.  I'll see you later."

"I love you," Chris whispers.

Darren pulls Chris into a hug in guise of a congratulatory embrace.  "I love you, too."  He quickly lets him go before it becomes too much, or someone starts to suspect something.  "Bye, Chris."

"Bye."  With that, Chris turns on his heel and goes to look for Linden, ready to get this dinner over with as quickly as possible.

After talking with Darren and saying he would be over later, butterflies in his stomach over knowing what's happening when he meets him, he goes to find Linden.  Seeing her talking to Matthew with her graduation gown draped over one of her arms, leaning over and kissing him, he goes up to them.

"Hey, you ready?" he asks to get her attention.

Linden hastily pulls away and gives him a confused look.  "For?"

"Come on, Lin," he playfully jabs her, "we planned this meal a year ago.  Don't tell me you forgot?"  Chris notices as realization dawns on Linden's face.

"Oh, right!  Sure."  She nods her head.  "I'm starved and could go for a big, greasy cheeseburger."

"Then, let's get going."

Linden leans over and gives Matthew a quick kiss.  "Sorry," she tells him.  "This is something we've had planned for just the two of us since last year."

"That's okay," Matthew assures her. "Am I still seeing you tonight."

Chris notices Linden nod her head.

"Alright," Linden tells him after Matthew walked away.  "Let's go.  I'm hungrier than a woman pregnant with twins."

"Okay."  Chris laughs.

~

Sliding in to one of the few booths remaining, the diner packed with other graduates, Linden sitting across from him, Chris feels as nerves overtake him.

Smiling at the waitress that comes up to their table, both of them ordering the same thing, he turns his attention to Linden after the waitress leaves.

"I have something to tell you," he somewhat excitedly, and nervously, tells her.

"What?"  Linden places her straw in the glass of Coke the waitress just set down on the table.

Chris grabs his water and takes a small drink.  "I'll tell you after we get our food."  He needs a few more minutes to compose himself; to get ready to say what he has to.  It's not every day you tell your best friend you've been secretly dating your teacher.

Seeing their burgers and fries set down in front of them fifteen minutes later, Chris knows it's time to let the truth out.

Linden grabs the bottle of ketchup and squeezes a small mound next to her fries after their plates of food are set down in front of them.  Chris takes the top of his bun off his burger and removes the tomato slices, handing them over to Linden before she even asks for them.

"So, what's the news?" she asks as she dunks a fry in the ketchup.

"Promise you won't freak out."  Chris leaves his food alone for the time being.

"I promise," Linden says with an exaggerated huff, smiling to show she's only playing.

"Alright."  Chris clears his throat a bit.  "I...I sort of been...seeing someone."

"What?!"  Linden practically screams in shock.  "And you didn't tell me!  Why?  Who is it?"

"Keep your voice down, Lin."  Chris shushes her some, not needing the extra attention her little outburst caused.  "I couldn't tell you because of who it is."

"Who is it, then?"  Linden demands in a low voice.

Taking a deep breath, Chris exhales and speaks with a steady voice.  "Darren."

"Darren who?"

" _Darren_ Darren."  Chris adds extra emphasis on Darren's name, hoping Linden understands.

The second she does, he sees her mouth drop open and her eyes go wide.  Seeing that, he can only imagine what she's going to do and say.  So, he braces himself.

"Oh, my god!" she practically screams, drawing attention to them again.  "Oh, my god!  I knew it!  I fucking told you!"  Linden bounces in her seat with a bit more excitement than Chris was expecting.  "I told you!  I was right!  Wasn't I right?"

"Yes, you were right."  Chris slides down a bit to hide from the people currently staring at Linden and him.  Trying to hide his smile, he gives up and just lets himself enjoy Linden's reaction.  "Lin, please, be a little quieter."

"Oh, my god!"  Linden, suddenly, slams her hands to the tabletop.  "You have to tell me everything."

"What do you want to know?"  Chris sits back up and grabs one of his fries.

"When did it happen?"  Linden asks as she takes a bite of her cheeseburger.

"The Halloween dance," Chris responds.  "He took me into Mrs. Hamilton's classroom and kissed me." 

"Wait!"  Linden says as she realizes something.  "When I found you, you were just making out with Darren?"  Chris bites his lower lip and smiles as he nods his head, feeling a blush staining his cheeks.  "So, you mean to tell me that while I was getting with Matthew, you were getting with Darren?"

"Crazy."  It's the only thing Chris can think to say.

"The craziest," Linden mumbles.  As she munches on a fry, far off look in her eyes, Chris sees as something registers with her.  "Wait!  Early this year, when you weren't yourself, was that because of him?"

Chris nods his head, feeling an ache in his chest as the memories of when Darren and he were broken up resurface.  "He broke up with me," he tells her.

"Why?"  Linden asks confused and seeming a little upset.

"Don't be mad with him, Lin," Chris says as he leans over the table.  "He thought he was doing the right thing.  You have to understand that.  What we were doing could have been terrible for him if we got caught."

"Sorry if I'm angry with him," Linden comments with an ounce of anger to her voice.  "But I saw how you were in those weeks, Chris.  You weren't you.  The light and joy was gone from your eyes.  So, yeah, I am mad with him."

"Lin, please-"

"But," Linden interrupts him.  "I've noticed you these past months, too.  You've never been happier."

"I am happy, Lin."  Chris smiles at how true those words are.  "He's in love me.  I'm in love with him."

"I'm happy for you, Chris.  I really am."  Linden reaches over the table and takes Chris' hands in hers.  "But, tell him the next time he hurts you in any way I will kick his ass."

"Okay."  Chris laughs as he squeezes Linden's hands.

"Now on to what I want to know.  Have you two done anything beyond making out?"

Chris doesn't let the arch of Linden's eyebrow and the sly grin she wears get past him.  "Nothing that involves removing clothes.  Well, actually," he says as he remembers, lifting an eyebrow and blushing.  "There was twice something happened."

"Spill," Linden eagerly demands.

Chris tells her of Darren and he and what happened on their first date.  He throws a fry at her as she whistles and pretends to fan herself, saying something along the lines of "That's hot!"

"What about the second time?" she asks as she picks up her burger.

Chris goes on to tell her about what happened the day of they celebrated Darren's birthday, laughing at her shocked face.  "What?" he chuckles.

"He didn't lay a finger on you?"

"No."  Chris shakes his head.

"And you let him watch?" Linden asks a bit flabbergasted.

"That made it all that much better; knowing he was watching made me more...aware of everything," Chris explains.  "I did something for him that he loved."

"And you're telling me he never laid a finger on you?"

"No, Lin, not one," Chris laughs as he grabs his glass of water, taking a drink.  "Since then, we haven't done anything but make out."

"Why not?"

"He wanted to wait until I was eighteen, and I graduated," Chris replies.

"You just graduated."  Linden gives him a look that is all suggestive, and Chris knows what she's trying to say without saying it.  "So?"  She drags out the o of the word.

"I'm going over there after this," Chris informs her, seeing her grin.

"Are you nervous?" 

"I'd be inhuman if I wasn't."  Chris plants his elbows on the table and drops his head in his hands, letting out a huff of breath.  "I'm fucking scared as fuck, to be honest."

"About having sex?"  Linden asks as she takes another bite of her burger.

"Yes, and no."  Chris drops his hands to the table and stares at Linden with worry filling his eyes.  "I know I'm ready to be with him.  I...I'm just scared that I'll be intolerable; that I'll do something stupid and turn him off from me.  He's, obviously, had experience.  I know absolutely nothing."

"I don't think that matters.  And if it does to him, then I think you should take a step back and rethink this whole thing."  Linden grabs a napkin and wipes her mouth.  "Besides, if you can please yourself in front of him, I think sex will be fine."

"Gee, Lin, thanks for the boost of confidence."  Chris turns the corner of his mouth up into a smile to show he's playing.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"  Chris nods his head and takes a drink of his water.

"Are you gonna top or bottom?"

Chris isn't the least bit phased by the question; he kind of expected to hear it from Linden.  "Bottom," he replies to her.  "I'm too nervous to top.  I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."  Looking at his phone and seeing it's close to seven, he figures it's time for him to leave.  "I'm gonna go," he announces as he shoves his phone in his pocket and pulls out his wallet, throwing enough money on the table for the meal.

"Aww.  My best friend leaving me to go get laid for the first time.  I feel so proud," Linden jokes as she holds a hand over her heart, sounding like a mother proud of their kid achieving a milestone.  "I should take a before and after picture."

"You're crazy, Lin."  Chris chuckles as he puts his wallet back.  "I'll call you tomorrow, or something."

"Okay."  Linden smiles and waves bye to him.  "I want to know everything.  Every last detail.”

He doesn't go straight to Darren's house like planned.  Pulling up to his driveway, he shuts off his car and runs to his house.

"Hey, sweetie," his mom says when he closes the door behind him.  "I thought you were going to that party with Linden?"

"I am," Chris lies as he heads for the stairs. There is a party, it's just that Linden and he aren't going.  They both have better ways to spend their nights than partying with people they never really cared for while in school.  "I just want to take a quick shower, and change."

Seeing his mom nod her head, Chris runs upstairs; immediately stripping when he's in the bathroom and taking a quick, thorough shower.  Going through his clothes looking for something to wear, not knowing why it's such a big deal for him since they'll be coming off, he stops and takes a deep breath.  Calming down a bit from the nerves he feels, he picks out an outfit and gets ready.  After getting dressed, standing in the middle of his room, Chris remembers the ring on his bedside table.  Grabbing it, he slides it on his finger, smiling at having it there.

Now ready to go, grabbing a stick of cinnamon flavored gum before he leaves his room, Chris closes his door and takes another deep breath.  Going downstairs and to the front door, he stops when his mom calls after him.  Turning around, he sees her walking up to him.

"Be careful, sweetie," she tells him as she picks something off his shirt.  "I don't want you to get into any kind of trouble, or harm."

"Don't worry, Mom," Chris tells her in a comforting voice.  "I promise I'll be fine."  Of course, he can't tell her why he knows he'll be fine.  Blurting out he's about to go lose his virginity to his former English teacher would probably result in her going into shock.

"Okay, sweetie."  She leans forward and hugs Chris tightly.  "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom," Chris says back.

"Now, go and have some fun."

Chris opens the door and heads for his car, ready for a night he's waited months to happen.

Being pulled into Darren's home after he opens the door, Chris grins when Darren crashes their mouths together as he lifts him a few inches off the floor.  Kissing him like it's been longer than a day since he last kissed him; he hears the door close loudly as Darren presses him to a wall.

"I'm glad you're here," Darren mumbles as he kisses along Chris' neck.

"I can tell."  Chris chuckles as he wraps an arm around Darren's neck, running his fingers through soft curls.

"How did Linden react to the news?"

"Surprisingly well.  She says you better take care of me or she'll hurt you."

"She's a great friend."

"She is," Chris agrees.  "Now.  Back to why I'm here."

"Are you hungry, or anything?"  Darren suddenly puts a few inches of space between them.  "Because there's a pizza on the table, or I could do something, anything, for you beforehand."

"You know I'm not hungry.  And I don't need anything but you."  Chris closes the space created and presses close to Darren's body.  Skimming his nose along Darren's neck, placing a lite peck at his pulse point, he is ready to experience why he came here for.  "So, take me to your bedroom."

Following behind Darren after he slips his hand in his and starts to walk, Chris all of a sudden feels a wave of nerves take ahold of him.  He feels like a kid walking into a test he didn't study for.  He doesn't know what to do, or how to get through this.  All he is feeling is nerves and worry.

But looking to Darren next to him, feeling his hand in his, he knows he need not be worried too much about this.

Walking into Darren's room, more nerves hit him at seeing Darren's bed.  It's an inanimate object that means nothing.  But to him it's where he's losing his virginity.  This is where his and Darren's relationship crosses that line into physical.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Chris arches an eyebrow and smiles when Darren kneels down in front of him.  Leg being lifted, and laces of his boot being untied, he feels as Darren slips it off.  Gently carding his fingers through soft curls, and softly scratching behind Darren's ear as he slips off his other boot, Chris smiles when Darren stands back up.

"How are you doing?"  Darren reaches for the hem of his shirt.

"Is it okay if I say terrified?  Because I am," Chris admits as he lifts his arms above his head.

"You can be scared, terrified, and extremely nervous you might be sick.  I don't mind."  Darren drops his shirt to the floor.  "I just want you to be sure.  I want you to be positively ready."

"I'm ready," Chris assures him.  "But my heart is racing with nerves."

"Just breathe, baby," Darren endearingly says as he pulls his own shirt off.  "Try to relax."

Dropping his forehead to Darren's stomach, Chris takes a deep breath.  "What if I can't?" he whispers, not wanting to look up at Darren out of fear of upsetting him. 

Going when Darren places a finger under his chin and tips his head back, Chris stares up at him with a half-smile on his lips.

"Then we won't.  There are many other things we can do."

"And you would be okay with that?"

"As long as you're comfortable, I'm fine with anything we do."

"You're okay with me being inexperienced in all of this?"

"Yes."  Darren nods his head.  "Blushing virgin you is really sexy."

"You're turned on by this, aren't you?"  Chris asks in an teasing tone as he giggles.

"Yes, I am."

"You're terrible," Chris jokes as he lies back on the bed.  Reaching down, he undoes the button of his pants as he says with a steady voice, "I'm ready.  I want you."

"Are you absolutely sure?"  Darren asks to make sure this is what Chris wants.

Chris nods his head.  He lifts his hips up as Darren reaches for the waistband of his jeans and starts to pull at them.

"Oh, my God, Chris," Darren groans as he firmly tugs at the jeans clinging to Chris' legs.  "Did you wear these to spite me?"

Chris chuckles.  "I wore them because I wanted to.  Now fucking take them off."

"Trust me, I'm trying."

After much wiggling and squirming and tugging and pulling, Chris finally kicks away the jeans.

The struggle with the jeans dispels some of the fear and nerves Chris is currently feeling.  Both of them get a good laugh out of the whole thing.

Removing his socks and scooting back on the bed, he sits up against the headboard as he stares at Darren still standing at the foot of the bed.  "Joining me?" he asks with a smirk.

He's gaining confidence by the second.  That's for sure.  Almost completely naked in front of Darren was definitely not something he thought he would be proudly doing a year before.  This time last year, Darren was refusing him and getting ready to leave for New York.  But now, a year later, he stands at the foot of the bed watching him.  Chris smiles at how much can change in just a year's time.

So, watching Darren start to undress, reaching down to palm himself for a bit of relief on his aching cock, he stops when he notices Darren push his fingers past the waistband of his underwear.

"This okay?"  Darren asks in a worried tone as he pushes the material of his underwear down the smallest.

"Isn't being naked for sex necessary?"  Chris teases with a grin, trying to show Darren that it's fine; that he's comfortable and okay.

"Not really."  Darren arches an eyebrow and pushes his underwear off in one quick motion.

He's allowed to stare.  That's the great thing about this.  He can sit there and stare at his boyfriend's dick all he wants.  (Which he's totally doing.)  Darren stands naked in front of Chris with no problem as he basically drools over Darren's naked body.  It's all defined muscles and hard and soft lines.  He wants to touch and kiss and lick every inch of him.

"Wow!"  Chris quietly says as he reaches down and starts to palm himself, relieving more of the ache on his hard cock.

"You keep doing that and you'll come before I'm even inside you," Darren points out in a teasing, playful tone.

"I think just staring at you would be enough to get me hard again right after," Chris comments even as he moves his hand away.

"Is that so?"  Darren arches an eyebrow and grins as he climbs up on the bed.  "How about we find out?"

Playfully screaming when Darren grabs ahold of his ankles and drags him down the bed, hearing him chuckle, Chris laughs as he lifts his hips.  Underwear slipped off his hips, seeing them dropped to the floor after Darren pulls them off, he confidently lies there naked as Darren gazes down at him.  There's a tinge of red to his skin from blushing.

"Do you plan to just stare at me all night?"  Chris teases after several moments of Darren just looking.

"Oh, I plan to do more than stare."  Darren leans down and starts to kiss his way down Chris' stomach.

Chris softly sighs as Darren kisses him; brushes his lips along the soft, sensitive skin over his hipbone.  He lets out a loud gasp when Darren slowly licks a stripe up the underside of his cock.  Whining low in his throat, arching his back, Chris parts his thighs more for Darren.

Pushing up onto his elbows, looking down at Darren between his legs with clouded eyes of lust, Chris drops his mouth open around a moan when Darren takes just the head of his cock into his mouth.  Tipping his head back and biting his lower lip, whimpering when Darren sucks and licks at the slit, Chris feels the embers of pleasure licking at his skin.  Watching Darren slowly sinks his mouth down most of his cock, he threads his fingers through curls as Darren starts to bob his head.  Feeling him suck and swallow around him, Chris whines low in his throat when Darren lifts his mouth off him.  "Holy shit!" he exclaims as he looks into Darren's eyes as he stares up at him.  "Keep doing that."

"Okay."  Darren grins up at him before sinking his mouth back down around Chris' cock.

Falling back against the bed, gripping the pillow under his head, Chris closes his eyes as he tips his head back.  Darren's mouth on him is driving him wild.  The wet, silky heat combined with the sensation of Darren humming around his cock is something he never wants to go without again.

Carding his fingers and gripping Darren's curls, Chris slightly arches his back and softly moans as he works his hips up into Darren's mouth.  The combination of Darren sucking and swallowing around him, tonguing at the head, and stroking what he can't fit into his mouth has heat and pleasure curling in Chris' stomach.  Pushing at Darren's shoulder when he's close, warning him, he just feels him double his efforts.

Crying out as he spills over Darren's tongue, arching his back and curling his toes as pleasure swims through him.  Feeling as Darren swallows around him, sucking him through his release, Chris collapses to the bed after his orgasm stops.

"Oh, man!"  Darren exclaims as he collapses on the bed next to Chris licking his lips.  "I've wanted to do that for months."

"Good to know you've thought about having my dick in your mouth."  Chris laughs as he turns onto his side to face Darren.  Looking down, he sees Darren is still hard; reaching down, he wraps his hand around him.  Stroking him slow and steady, feeling every inch of him under his hand.  Chris can tell Darren is easily a few centimeters bigger than him; thicker, too.  He's, actually, surprised by how much he already loves Darren's dick. And they haven't even really started.

"Want me to get you off?" he asks as he thumbs at the head of Darren's dick, making him moan.  Chris smiles at hearing that sound fall from Darren's lips; knowing he's doing it right.

"No."  Darren reaches down and stops the movement of Chris' hand.  "I can wait."

The thought of knowing what Darren is referring to makes Chris' cock twitch in interest against Darren's hip.

"Less than two minutes," Darren laughs as he reaches down and takes Chris in hand, slowly stroking him to hardness.  "I'm impressed."

"Yo-...You're surprised an eighteen year old with...a healthy sex drive is already getting hard again?"  Chris rhetorically asks with a smile as he pushes his hips up into Darren's fist, moaning as he twists his wrist in a way that causes pleasure to sizzle under his skin.  "Oh, God!"

"You ready for more?"  Darren asks as he slows the movement of his hand.

Chris nods his head in reply, whimpering when Darren pulls his hand away.  He watches as Darren leans over and opens a drawer, grabbing the lube.  It hits Chris hard, again, that he's about to do this.  He's about to lose his virginity.  Getting nervous, butterflies in his stomach, he focuses on Darren, and the fact that he's doing this with the man he loves.

"Are you okay?"  Darren asks as he faces him again, spreading lube on his fingers.

"Yeah."  Chris nods his head and smiles.  "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

Chris nods his head once again.

"Alright.  Bring your knee up and rest it on my hip," Darren tells him.

Lifting his knee up and hooking his leg over Darren's hip like Darren told him to, Chris whimpers as Darren reaches down between their bodies, and between his legs, and traces his entrance.  The lubed finger slowly circles the tight, puckered hole before gently pressing in.  Chris grips at Darren's shoulders at the brief pain he feels.

"Is it okay?"  Darren asks after he pushes his finger all the way in.

Chris bites his lower lip and nods his head; body getting used to the new intrusion.  Starting to gently rock his hips down on the finger after a while, he moans as Darren takes that as his cue and begins to work the finger in and out.

"You ever done this to yourself before?"  Darren asks as he slowly pulls his finger out before thrusting it back in.

"Once," Chris gasps as he nods his head.  "Couldn't get the angle right.  Felt weird."

"Angle, huh?"  Darren says with a grin and a look to his eyes.

"What's that look?"  Chris asks as he bites his lower lip when Darren pushes in with two fingers.

"Look?  I don't know what you're talking about," Darren laughs as he thrust his fingers in.

Chris moans as he rolls his hips down on the fingers.  "Y-you look like...like you're planning s-something," he tells him.

"Planning something?  I wouldn't."  Chris feels Darren pull his fingers out and thrust them back in, making sure to brush his prostate.  Chris holds back from screaming as pleasure wracks his body; he digs his fingers into Darren's shoulders.  "Except for that."

"Oh, god!"  Chris rests his forehead to Darren's, cupping his face.  "Again."

"Okay," Darren says.

Closing his eyes and dropping his mouth open around a soft moan as Darren thrusts his fingers in and brushes his prostate, Chris bites his lower lip when he feels Darren add a third finger after a while.  Gently rocking his hips down, feeling the embers of pleasure start to build under his skin, Chris is ready for more.  “Want…I want you,” he tells Darren.

“Okay.”  Darren nods his head in understanding.

Darren removes his fingers, and Chris watches as he reaches over into the drawer again to grab something.  Seeing him lie on his back and bring something up to his mouth, he looks as Darren rips open a foil packet with his teeth.  Lying there, propping up on his elbow, Chris stares as Darren reaches down and rolls the condom on himself.  Something about the sight stirs arousal in him.  It has him even more desperate to have Darren inside him.

"Back or stomach?"  Darren asks after he finishes.

Rolling onto his stomach to answer Darren's question, lifting his hips so Darren can shove a pillow under them, Chris pushes up to his elbows; spreading his knees apart.

"Ready?"  Darren asks.

"Yes."

One hand at his lower back, and another on his hip lightly gripping, Chris gasps at the sudden stretch around the head of Darren's cock as he slowly starts to push in; feeling him push past the first ring of muscles.  Clutching the pillow under his hands, pulling in steadying breaths to calm himself, he digs his teeth into his lower lip as Darren slowly continues to push into him.

He figures he must release some sort of noise because he feels Darren immediately stop half-way in him.  "Did I hurt you?" he asks him with concern lacing his voice; Chris feeling as he softly strokes his thumb over his hip.

"N-no."  Chris shakes his head, breathing.  "It's...It's just so much more than I thought."

Chris turns his head, and closes his eyes when he feels Darren press his lips to his temple.  "I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not," Darren mumbles and chuckles against his temple.

Realizing what he said and how it could be taken, Chris blushes and laughs.  "Definitely a compliment."  Softly sighing into the kiss Darren gives him, he feels the last of the nerves and worry he had dissipate.  "Want all of you," he whispers against Darren's lips as he rocks his hips back.

"Just breathe, baby," Darren softly tells him.

Dropping his mouth open around a short gasp as Darren continues to push into him, feeling as he stretches open around him more with each small push in.  He pulls in a few deep breaths after Darren is fully in him, feeling his hips against the curve of his ass; Chris lets himself adjust and get used to the new intrusion.  It's different.  Being stretched open by Darren is more intense than he thought it would be.

Here he is sharing something with someone he loves.  It's scary and new, and frightens him some at how vulnerable he is at the moment.  This is him practically baring his sole to someone, and trusting them to be kind and gentle to him in return.  He's trusting Darren with something nobody else gets to have.  And he's felt nothing but love and gentleness in return.

Softly moaning when Darren barely shifts his hips, Chris gently rolls his hips back.  Looking over his shoulder, he says, "Move, Dare.  I'm ready."

Darren starts off slow and steady.  Chris can feel how gentle and patient he's being with him.  The hand at his lower back slowly slides up to grab at his shoulder.  Faintly whimpering when Darren minutely rocks his hips forward, making the ember of pleasure under his skin grow into a fire, Chris rocks his hips back on Darren.  Arousal and heat pools in his belly as Darren barely rocks in and out.  Mainly, he keeps his hips pressed flush to Chris’ ass as he minutely rolls his hips forward.  Little whimpers fall from Chris’ lips each time Darren rocks forward.

For a few minutes, Darren keeps at the slow rhythm.  Chris writhes under him, desperate for faster and harder.  “Faster, Dare.  Please,” he begs as he rocks his hips back on Darren.

“You sure?”  Darren asks.

“Yes.”  For a few seconds after, both of them still, Chris waits for Darren to do something.  He waits for him to move again.  “Oh, fuck,” he curses when Darren leans over him, placing kisses between his shoulder-blades as he pulls almost all the way out, then slowly sinks back into him.  Moaning as Darren does that a few more times, a loud moan is ripped from Chris’ throat when Darren sits back up and pulls out before snapping his hips forward.

“Good?”  Darren asks with a hint of mischief to his voice; like he knows what he’s doing.

“G-…Good,” Chris pants in reply.

Fingers at his hip dig deep into his flesh as Darren picks up the pace of his hips.  Deeply moaning as Darren fucks into him with hard snaps of his hips, dropping his head, and gripping at the sheets under his hands, Chris thrusts his hips back to meet the thrust of Darren into him.  Groaning as Darren sinks into him deeper each time.  Rubbing his cock against the pillow still under his hips, seeking any kind of friction, Chris cries out when Darren thrust in and hits his prostate.

Chris lets out moans and cries of pleasure as Darren continues to thrust in and hit his prostate, sending white, hot pleasure throughout his body.  It pushes him closer to that release his body seeks; to that release that, he knows, will be amazing.  It builds low in his belly.

"W-Wait."  Reaching behind him and clutching at Darren's hip, squeezing the heated flesh under his fingers, Chris feels him come to a stop.

"What?  Do you want me to stop?"

"No."  Chris shakes his head, trying to catch his breath some.  "Want...I want to see you."

Darren says okay and pulls out of him.  Chris misses the feeling of him inside instantly.  Quickly turning onto his back and spreading his legs, tipping his head back and moaning as Darren pushes back into him, he bunches the sheet of the bed in one of his hands.  Fingers of his other hand dig into Darren's side hard enough Chris knows there'll be bruises in the morning.

"Are you okay?"  Darren asks as he slowly pulls his hips back before pushing back into the unbearable heat and tightness of Chris.

Chris pulls his lower lip between his teeth and releases a soft whimper, minutely nodding his head.  "I...I feel great."  Sighing into Darren's mouth when he leans down to kiss him, he accidentally bites down on Darren's lower lip when the new angle has Darren perfectly hitting his prostate.  "Fuck!  S-Sorry."  Chris drops his mouth open around a moan after apologizing, pushing his hips down as Darren thrust up into him, hitting his prostate again.  Each time he does, it creates a tingle under Chris' skin.

Running his hands over Darren’s back, the glide of their bodies made easier by the sheen of sweat covering their skins, Chris softly moans into Darren’s mouth when he kisses him again.  Hooking his legs over Darren’s hips, crossing his ankles at his lower back, Chris tips his head back and softly whines when Darren thrust into him.  Clutching at Darren’s shoulders, burying his face in the slope of his neck, he groans as Darren continues to snap his hips forward into him.  Chris can feel his body go tense and taut with the need for release.  “I’m close,” he tells Darren.

Gasping when Darren reaches down between their bodies and takes him in hand, starting to stroke him, pushing up into his fist, Chris tries to take ahold of that release that his body so desperately wants.

"Come for me, Chris," Darren whispers against his lips as he strokes him.  "Come, baby."

Pushing up into Darren's fist, groaning as he still fucks into him, the heat twisting in his belly, being pulled closer and closer to the edge.  A few more strokes of Darren's hand and Chris is hit with his release.  Spilling over Darren's fist, and onto both their stomachs, Chris cries out with Darren's name on his lips as pleasure overtakes his body.  Arching his back as Darren continues to fuck him through his orgasm, still coming, he is dizzy with pleasure.  It runs through his veins like liquid fire that burns in the best possible way.  It's the best kind of ecstasy.

As his orgasm starts to wane, Chris moans as he buries his face in the curve of Darren's neck as he still thrust into him seeking his own release.  Kissing at Darren's neck, tasting skin salty from sweat, and feeling his rapid beating pulse under his lips, Chris pulls back enough to capture Darren's mouth in a rough kiss.  As he thrust his tongue into Darren's mouth, massaging their tongues together, he tightens his muscles around Darren as he rolls his hips down.  Darren groans into his ear.

"Fuck you, Chris," Darren laughs as he thrust forward into Chris' clenching body.

"I believe you already are," Chris replies with a small chuckle.

A small moan falls from Chris' lips as he closes his eyes and tips his head back when he feels Darren bury himself deep inside him and come.  He sighs as Darren moves in him until it becomes too much and has to stop.

Clutching to Darren in a vice grip, ankles still crossed at his lower back, Chris heavily breathes as the last of his orgasm starts to subside.  It leaves him in a pleasantly blissed out state.  Every inch of his body seems to be awakened to what he just experienced, every part of him on a high; from head to toe, he feels tingly from pleasure.

"We...We need to do that again."  Chris finally lets go of his hold on Darren; collapsing against the bed, missing Darren when he pulls out of him.  "We need to do that again, over and over and over."

"Let me rest for a few minutes and we can," Darren breathless says as he lies down next to Chris, reaching down to pull the condom off.

Turning to curl himself into Darren's side, feeling a sheet pulled over their bodies and rest around their hips, smiling when fingers start to skim along his back, he splays his hand on Darren's chest.  Under his palm, Chris can feel the beat of Darren's heart.  The soft thump thump thump is comforting.

Letting his mind aimlessly wonder, thinking about nothing in particular, a smile spreads across Chris' lips at finally being here.  The wait was longer than he would have liked, but in the end it was worth it.  This moment he shared with Darren was better than he ever imagined it could be.

"You're awfully quiet," Darren says.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  Just thinking," Chris replies.

"About what?"

Lifting his head and resting his chin on the hand over Darren's heart, Chris smiles down at him.  "How soon we can do that again.  And how often we can do it."

"Why am I not surprised," Darren chuckles as he ghosts his fingers along Chris' side, sending a shiver through him.

Chris laughs.  "I know what I like.  And you fucking me, I like."

"Is that so?"  Darren drags his hand up and grabs behind Chris' neck, gently tugging to pull him in for a kiss.

Going when Darren does that, Chris captures Darren's mouth in a sweet, tender kiss.  "I like you fucking me," Chris murmurs against Darren's lips. "I like how you feel inside me."

"You want me inside you again?"  Darren flicks his tongue over Chris' top lip.

Whimpering into Darren's mouth when he grabs at his hips and brings him down on top of him, rocking up into him, Chris breaks the kiss and sits up some.  Bracing his hands on Darren's chest, he slowly rolls his hips down, groaning at the drag of his cock over Darren's already half-hard one.

"Are you sure you can get it up again, Old Man?"  Chris playfully teases, letting out a small scream when Darren rolls them over and pins him to the bed.  Wrists held down above his head, body already responding to Darren nipping at his neck, Chris arches up into Darren's body when he starts to gently rock his hips down.  The slide of their cocks together has arousal building under Chris' skin.  He needs Darren again; needs him to fuck him again.  "Please," he desperately begs as he arches his back, seeking any kind of friction on his aching cock.

"You want me to fuck you again?"  Darren growls as he reaches down between Chris' legs, tracing his entrance.

"Yes," Chris whimpers as he closes his eyes and tips his head back, pushing his hips down on the finger.  He doesn't fight the hold of Darren's hand on his wrists.  Actually, he welcomes it.  He likes losing that control.

"Why do you want to fuck an old man like me?"  Darren asks in a joking tone as he pulls his hand away and goes about holding Chris' wrists down again.

Letting out a deep moan when Darren rocks his hips down on him, dropping his legs open more, and lifting his hips seeking friction on his cock, Chris grins up at Darren.  "Because, Old Man," he thrusts his hips up, "I've recently come to discover that you’re really great in bed."

"Is that so?"  Darren arches an eyebrow, smirk on his lips. 

“Yes.”  Chris nods his head.  “And I want you again.”

"Well, then, I guess we should do something about that, then.”

“Yeah, guess you should.”

A few hours later, right on the edge of sleep, body sore, but still feeling amazing, Chris doesn't think this night can get any better.

"Chris," Darren whispers.  "I have to tell you something."

"Hmm?"  Chris keeps his eyes closed, small smile playing at his lips.

"I got the job close to UCLA," Darren murmurs into his ear.

At those words, Chris throws his eyes open as he feels all traces of sleep vanish.  "Really?"

"I found out two days ago."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Since you didn't want any kind of graduation present, I thought I'd save it as a surprise.  It's a present in some form."

"I love you."  Chris scoots over and kisses Darren long and hard.  "So much.  Love you so much."

"I love you, too.  So much."

Chuckling when Darren says that, Chris deepens the kiss.

Slotting his hips between Darren's, kissing him fiercely, they rut together until they manage to come one last time that night.

Collapsing on top of Darren in a heap of breathlessness and pleasure, trying to catch his breath and calm his racing heart, he buries his face in the curve of Darren's neck.  Breathing in the mix of his cologne and sweat and sex that lingers on his skin, he grins at knowing that he'll still have this when he leaves in a few months.

~

He wakes up to the smell of warm maple syrup and bacon frying filling the air.  Sitting up, wincing at the small pain that he feels in his ass at the movement, he carefully climbs out of bed.  Grabbing his underwear from the floor, and a sweater of Darren's that he finds lying across the back of chair, he pulls both of them on and goes downstairs.

"Morning," he says when he steps into the kitchen.  Darren stands at the stove flipping pancakes in pajama pants and a plain white shirt. "Smells good."

"Morning.  Was kind of hoping I would finish before you woke up and could serve you breakfast in bed."  Darren smiles at Chris as he reaches out and grabs a handful of the sweater and pulls him forward.  "I had a great time last night."

"Me too."  Chris blushes, thinking about all they did.  Placing a hand on Darren's mouth when he leans in and tries to kiss him, he stops him; he sees the look of confusion fill Darren's eyes.  "I haven't brushed my teeth yet," he says in way of explanation.  "I forgot to bring a toothbrush."

Darren pulls his hand away, smile on his lips.  Chris laughs when he still leans forward and kisses him.  "I bought one for you.  It's next to mine in my bathroom."

"You did?"  Chris' voice hitches the slightest at Darren saying he bought him a toothbrush.  It's just a stupid toothbrush; nothing grand or extreme.  But it means so much for him...for both of them.

"Yeah.  I knew you would be staying over more from now on, so I bought it.  I also made room in my closet and dresser for some of your clothes so you can keep some here."

Chris throws himself at Darren and passionately kisses him, morning breath be damned.  "I love you," he pants when he ends the kiss.

"I love you, too," Darren chuckles.

"I'll be back in a sec."  He gives him a quick peck on the lips and heads upstairs.

Finding the toothbrush Darren bought for him, surprised by how happy that makes him, Chris brushes his teeth.  Splashing cold water on his face and fixing his wild hair some, he takes a look at himself in the mirror before going back downstairs.

Taking a seat at the spot Darren set for him, stomach growling as he sees the plate of food in front of him, Chris immediately starts to dig in.  He eats like he hasn’t eaten in days.  Which is close to true; he hasn’t eaten since the morning before.  And he worked up quite the appetite the night before.  It’s not long before he’s finishing the plate of food.

“Guess you were hungry,” Darren laughs as he leans over the table.

“Starved,” Chris replies as he drops his fork to the plate, a small ting ringing out.  “I had a long, strenuous night last night.”

“I know.  I was there.”

“Oh, I remember.”  Chris stands up and walks over to where Darren is sitting.  “How about,” he slowly sits down in Darren’s lap, “we continue it.”

“I could definitely be up for that.”  Darren gently thrusts his hips up at the word up, making Chris softly moan.

"I should get home at least by three.  So," Chris says as he gently rocks his hips down, mischievous grin on his face, "that gives you a little over four hours to fuck me as many times as you can."

"Oh, this is going to be extremely fun."  Darren smirks at him and Chris feels his belly curl with heat and desire, wondering what Darren has in mind.

In the end, Chris ends up riding Darren right there in that chair.  After that, sprawled out on the living room floor naked, Darren sucks him off as the midday sun falls around them.  Attempting to go up the stairs after that only results in Chris uncomfortably lying back half-way up on the wooden stairs as Darren slowly ruts against him as he slowly works three fingers into him; as he comes, clenching around Darren's fingers, he notices him hold off from his release.  It's only after the stairs, dazed from pleasure, Darren practically having to carry him, do they make it to the bed.  There, Darren slowly fucks him; gradually bringing him to the edge that seems forever to fall off of.  But when he does, when he comes, he cries out Darren's name in pleasure.  After he falls to the bed, he groans as Darren continues to fuck him until he has his own release.

Completely spent, limbs feeling like jelly, body sore and tired, Chris doesn't care what time it is; as long as he can stay in bed with Darren and rest a little longer, he'll be happy.  "I need to go home," he says as he stretches.  "But I feel too comfortable to move."

"You have to get up, though.  Gotta take a shower," Darren tells him as he sits up and lightly swats at his ass.

"No.  Want to sleep.  Want to stay here," Chris playfully whines, pulling a pillow to his body and wrapping his arms around it.  Burying his nose in it, breathing in the smell of Darren lingering there, he softly moans.

"Chris."

"I'll fuck you," Chris bargains, hoping Darren will agree.

"We both know you're not ready for that," Darren points out as he stands up off the bed.

Chris hates how Darren knows him so well.  It's true.  He's not ready just yet to top.  But he knows he soon will be.  Cause god knows he wants to experience being inside Darren.  "I'm staying here."  Burrowing his head under another pillow, Chris avoids trying to move at all.

"How about I bargain with you?"

"I'm not listening," Chris playfully replies in a sing-song voice from under the pillow.

"I'll blow you in the shower."

Chris doesn't fight the grin that spreads across his face.  But when he talks, he tries to sound upset.  "That's not fair," he complains.  "You're using orgasms as a bargaining price."

"So what if I am?"  Darren replies with a hint of laughter to his voice; Chris can easily picture him grinning. "Are you buying?"

Chris sits up and grins.  "Of course I'm buying."


	11. Chapter 11

After that graduation night, and subsequent weeks that followed, Chris found most of his days, and if lucky, some nights, filled with being with Darren.  Of course, being with Darren usually meant copious amounts of sex.  It's almost as if a floodgate opened up.  Chris can't get enough of Darren.  Being with him is all that occupies his mind.  There's nothing else he cares about.

He spends most of his free time in bed with Darren doing things that leave him satiated and satisfied.  When he's not with him, he thinks about the next time he can be with him.  Sex, he's learned, is something he really, really loves and enjoys.  He thought his hunger for Darren before was bad.  Now that he knows what it's like to be with him, he wants him all the time; he's insatiable.

Currently sitting in Darren's lap and working his hips down hard and fast, gripping Darren's shoulders tightly, feeling how close he is, Chris throws his head back and cries out as he spills over Darren's fist.  Coming in white, hot spurts, feeling cum hit his stomach, he works his hips through his orgasm as Darren slowly stops the movement of his hand.

Dropping his head to Darren's shoulder, breathing heavy, pleasure tingling under his skin, he whines deep in his throat as Darren grips his hips and continues to fuck up into him.  The drag of him out before he pushes back in with quick snaps of his hips has Chris' cock trying to get hard again.  Even though it's too soon, even though he's sensitive and sore, he craves it.  He craves how his body still responds to Darren so soon after coming; he craves how the tingle of pleasure is slowly replaced by the tingle of want.  He wants more, he wants the feeling of arousal and desire for the man he loves swimming through him.  He wants to be pushed; to see how much he can take.

"Fuck, Dare," he whimpers as he starts to thrust his hips down.

"Again?"  Darren asks with a bit of surprise.

"Again," Chris pants, nodding his head.  Kissing at Darren's jaw, the lite stubble there scratchy and rough under his lips, he kisses his way up to Darren's ear.  "Fuck me."

Groaning into Darren's ear when he wraps an arm around his waist and gets a good hold of him, his other hand clutching at his hip, Chris works his hips through the oversensitivity he's feeling.

"Oh," Darren chuckles into his ear as he thrust up.  "You are so much fun to fuck."

The grin that spreads across Chris' face falls away as Darren snaps his hips up rough and hard.  Dropping his mouth open around a whimper, frantically working his hips down as the oversensitivity is replaced with pleasure, cock back to full hardness.  The sound of Darren and he's moans and whimpers mix with the sound of skin slapping together.  Chris clutches as Darren's shoulders as he sits up; bouncing up and down on Darren's dick, grinding his hips down on every other thrust down, he sighs as he feels the tingle forming at the base of his spine, knowing he's about to come again.

Darren still fucks up into him, groaning into his ear as he buries himself deep inside him one last time and comes.  It's arousing enough to push Chris over the edge once again.

Experiencing a smaller, but just as intense, orgasm, Chris works his hips through his release.  "Oh, fuck!" he exclaims as he slumps his body against Darren's after his orgasm stops, dropping his forehead to Darren's shoulder as he catches his breath and calms his racing heart.  "That was phenomenal."

"It was."  Darren drags his fingers down Chris' back, sending electric shocks through his body.  "How's your ass?"

"Sore," Chris replies with a laugh as he lifts his head.  "But it was worth it."

"Mmm.  It was," Darren agrees as he holds onto Chris' hips as he raises up on to his knees.

"We should do that more often," Chris says as he sits back down on Darren's lap after he slipped out of him.

"You are fun to fuck," Darren says, sounding even more amused by his words.

"You're just realizing that."  Chris lets out a small laugh.  He places a tender kiss to Darren's lips, tipping his head back to expose the creamy skin of his long neck for Darren.  Softly sighing as he starts to kiss at the skin.  "I'm glad I came here."

"Of course you are," Darren murmurs against his Adam apple.

"Although, I don't like lying."  Chris looks to Darren and smiles.  "But you're worth it."

"What does your mom think you're doing?"  Darren asks as he kisses at Chris' shoulder.

Chris laughs as he says, "She thinks I'm hanging out with Linden at the mall."

"Let me guess," Darren chuckles into his ear, "Linden told her mom she's hanging out with you?"

"There's no need for our parents to know what, or who, we're doing?"  Chris smirks as he arches an eyebrow.

"So, you guys are covering for each other?"

"Yes."  Chris nods his head.  "How do you think I managed to spend the weekend a few weeks ago?  Linden covered for me; said I was with her."

"I think I owe her the biggest chocolate bar for that," Darren laughs.  "That was a great weekend."

"It was great because I was horny as hell that weekend," Chris corrects him with a small chuckle.  "I was barely off you."

"You didn't hear me complaining."

"Oh, I remember.  There was a couple instances of you bending me over a table and fucking me into oblivion."  Chris grins and bites his lower lip at those memories; how Darren just came up behind him and bent him over the kitchen table.  Remembering how Darren ripped his underwear away--the only thing he was wearing--and fingered him until he was begging for him, and pushed inside and filled him up.  It was rough and hard and fast, and all about getting off.  That was the first time Darren was like that with him, and Chris loved every second of it.  Chris smiles at how after he went home there were still finger shaped bruises on his hips where Darren had gripped him.

He arches an eyebrow and smiles when he feels Darren's cock twitch against his ass.  "Someone's enjoying reliving those memories."

"I might be enjoying it," Darren says.  "But it's too soon for me to get hard again.  So," Chris feels as he lifts him off his lap and carefully lies him on the couch, "I'll go get something to clean us up."

Softly sighing into the quick, chaste kiss Darren gives him, Chris lies back on the couch and stretches.  Warm sunlight hitting his naked, damp skin, and feeling amazing and relaxed, he feels himself start to get sleepy.  Eyes getting heavy, he tries to fight his sleep, but finds himself losing.

Blinking his eyes open a few hours later with Darren curled around him from behind, seeing the sun start to set outside, Chris instantly knows he's in trouble.  "Oh, shit!"  Sitting up and jumping off the couch, frantically searching for his clothes, he hastily starts to get dressed.

"Chris?"  He hears Darren mumble as he pulls on his underwear.

Looking over to find him sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Chris can't but help to think how cute he is with his wild, unruly curls sticking up everywhere.  "Go back to sleep, Dare," he quietly says as he starts to put on his jeans.

"What's wrong?"  Darren asks concerned.

"Nothing," Chris replies as he pulls on his shirt.  "I just fell asleep; and I'm positive my mom is worried about me.  I'm, most likely, also in trouble."  He turns his full attention to Darren when he hears him laugh.  "What?"

"It's just...I'm with a guy who can still grounded by his mom," Darren chuckles, then suddenly stops.  "Wow!  I feel like a real pervert right now."

"It's okay, you're still cute," Chris jokes as he buttons his jeans.  "Besides, Mr. Humbert," Chris hears Darren chuckle at the name call, knowing he would get it, "I'm eighteen.  That hardly qualifies you the title of pervert."

"One, I'm nothing like him because he wanted someone who was twelve, thirteen years old.  I'm not that creepy," Darren corrects, shaking his head.  "Second, it's kind of hitting me hard that you're only eighteen.  You're still, somewhat, a child."

Chris actually finds it cute how Darren is having a crisis of conscious.  "I wasn't a child a few hours ago when I was riding you.  Remember?  You fucked me to orgasm twice."  He smirks as that has Darren dropping his head back on the couch and groaning, closing his eyes.  Walking over to him, he sits down in his lap.  Leaning forward into him, he skims his nose along Darren's neck, breathing in the mixture of citrus and sweat and sex on his skin.  "Stop it!"

"I'm sorry."  Chris smiles at Darren knowing what he was referring to without having to ask.  "It's just...I never really gave it thought to how young you are."

"Hey."  Grabbing Darren's chin and lifting his head until he's staring into his eyes.  "I might be young.  Yeah, eighteen is an age where I'm still, somewhat, a child-"  Chris hears Darren groan.  "What?"

"Don't say child.  It makes me feel wrong."

"You said it first," Chris points out, but deciding to listen to Darren.  He gets it; the word is wrong to say.  "I'm a young-adult."  He sees Darren minutely nod his head at the new word; approving.  "But I'm making my own choices now.  You're my choice; age difference be damned.  So stop feeling bad for yourself about how young I am.  And think of it this way: If we had met when I was nineteen, and you were thirty, would you still have a problem?"  Chris watches as Darren mulls over the question for several seconds.

"No."  Darren shakes his head; Chris smiles.

"See," Chris says, "there's nothing to beat yourself up over.  People date younger people all the time.  So, there is nothing wrong with you being with me."

"Yeah," Darren sighs, smiling.  "You're right."

"Good.  Because I love you, and I want to be with you, Old Man."  Chris places a quick kiss to Darren's soft lips.  "No more worrying about this again."

"I won't.  Promise."  Darren drops his forehead to Chris'.  "I love you, too."

"Now, I have to go."  Chris climbs off Darren's lap.  Walking to where he kicked off his shoes, he bends over and starts to put them on.

"Can you get Linden to cover for you again this weekend?"

Standing up and turning to face Darren, who has the blanket wrapped around himself, Chris smirks at him.  "Why?  You want something in particular?"  He's playing with him, teasing, even though he can already feel arousal and want spreading through his body at what Darren is asking.  The thought of another weekend alone with him has Chris wanting to get naked and fall back on to the couch again.

"Oh, you know," Darren says as he reaches out and pulls Chris to his body by his shirt, "I just want to spend hours and hours making you fall apart beneath me."

Chris closes his eyes and moans when Darren skims his nose along his neck, feeling himself growing hard in his jeans.  "See you got over your problem quick."

"How can I let myself worry about your age when I can fuck you."  Darren gently nips at the soft skin below Chris' ear.  "So, are you gonna try and come over?"

"And if I do?  What are you planning to do me?"

"I plan to do many things," Darren whispers into his ear.  "I want to taste you everywhere."

Chris feels his cock twitch at the implications of Darren's words.  It's something he never gave much thought to, but the idea of Darren pushing his tongue into his body makes him harder than he already was.  "Fuck!  Yes," he sighs, clutching at Darren's sides, wanting that now and not later.

"I want to push my tongue into that gorgeous ass of yours and make you fall apart until you're begging me to fuck you."

"Oh, God, Dare."  Chris reaches down and starts to palm himself, loving the friction and pressure on his aching cock.

"I might even use the tie again."  Chris sees Darren reach forward and push his hand away, slowly palming him.  "Remember last time?  How much you loved it."

Chris does remember.  The way the silk felt soft around his wrists after Darren bound them together.  How he loved the feeling of being out of control of what he could do.  How Darren held his bound wrists down above his head and fucked him.  It has an ache for that again forming in Chris' belly.

Reaching up and wrapping a hand around Darren's neck, pressing their mouths together in a brush of lips, gasping into Darren's mouth, and Chris whines low in his throat as he rocks his hips forward.  "Please," he quietly begs against Darren's lips.

"What?"  Chris shivers when Darren flicks his tongue over his top lip.

"Anything," Chris replies, knowing Darren was asking him what he wanted.

"How about I suck your cock before you leave," Darren says as he unashamedly drops the blanket, standing there naked.

The sight of Darren naked in front of him, all tanned skin and toned muscles, has all coherent and right thoughts leaving his mind.  Chris wants him right here, right now.  Sitting down on the fourth step of the stairs, Darren kneeling between his spread thighs, lifting his hips after Darren works open his jeans, feeling him tug them down along with his underwear, he tips his head back and moans when Darren instantly wraps his lips around the head of his cock.  He knows he shouldn't have allowed this, that he should have just left before he gets into more trouble for worrying his mom.  But he can't help how much he always wants Darren.  And being on the receiving end of a blowjob is definitely worth getting in trouble over.

~

Closing the door quietly behind him forty minutes later, Chris prays his mom didn't hear him come in.  Carefully walking across the floor, he manages to walk a handful of steps before the floorboards loudly squeak with a step he takes.  He instantly knows he's caught.

"Christopher!"  Chris stills at his mom using his full name.  He knows it can't be good when she calls him that.  "Is that you?"

"Yes."

"Will you come here, please."

"Yeah, Mom," he calls back as he mentally prepares himself for the lecture he's about to get.  Heading to the kitchen where he heard her voice come from, he finds her sitting at the table peeling apples.  "Yeah?"

"Sit down, sweetie."  She tips her head to the chair to the side of her, smile on her lips that does nothing to comfort Chris.  "Let's talk."

Walking over and sitting down, holding back the wince that wants to register on his face, he looks at her and half-smiles.  "What do you want to talk about?" he asks as he grabs a piece of the apple peel.

"Where were you?" she asks as she sets the peeled apple down and grabs another.

"I told you.  I was with Linden at the mall.  I accidentally fell asleep at her house.  Sorry for worrying you."  Chewing on the apple peel, Chris hopes she doesn't question it further.

"You know, Christopher, I gave birth to you.  I've raised you.  I know everything about you."  His mom looks at him in a way that says she's not stupid.  "That's how I know when you're lying."

"Mom-"

"No, Christopher," she stops him, holding up her hand to quiet him.  "I, also, know you're seeing someone."

"How?"  Chris asks surprised.

"I've never seen you happier than how you've been these last several months," his mom answers.  "Am I right?"

"Yes," Chris quietly replies, feeling stupid if he thought he could keep this from his mom.  "I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's okay, sweetie.  But I want to know why you didn't tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"Because of who it is."

"What's so bad about t-"

"He's eleven years older than me," Chris blurts out, hearing the apple his mom was holding hit the floor with a thump.

"Christopher!"  He can hear how high his mom's voice has gotten with shock.

"That's not the worst part."

"What's the worst part?"

"Don't get too mad or angry," he pleads.

"I'll try."

"He's my former English teacher."  Chris is surprised when his mom says nothing and just stands up and walks to the sink.  He watches as she washes her hands and then proceeds to clean the counter tops.  He knows it's a defense mechanism; whenever something troublesome is bothering her, she'll start to clean.  That's how he knows this can't be good.  "Mom, I'm sor-"

"No!"  She cuts him off and turns to face him with something he can't quite place in her eyes.  "Don't tell me you are sorry.  I know you're not.  How...How long has this been going on?"

"Since last Halloween," Chris answers.

"Oh, my God!"  His mom goes back to frantically wiping the counters that are already pristine.  Suddenly, he notices her go completely still.  "Your English teacher?  The one I met during Christmas time last year?"

"Yeah."  Chris nods his head, feeling ashamed about keeping something this big from his mom.  But he knew he had to; it was for Darren and his protection.

"You two were together then?"  She asks the question more to herself than Chris, but he still replies with a quiet yes.  "That's where you were today, wasn't it?  With him?"

"Yes."

"Are you two sleeping together?" she asks as she turns to face him again, brow creased together in anger.

"Yes.  But we waited until I graduated to do anything," he is quick to add, making sure she knows.

"Is that supposed to make it better for me, Christopher, knowing you two waited?" she asks like it's the dumbest thing she's ever heard.  "I don't believe that makes anything better.  Did...Did you even think about the dire consequences that would have happened had you two been caught?"

"Yes."

"And you two still chose to go ahead with the relationship?"  Chris slightly nods his head.  "Why?"

"I love him, Mom," Chris quietly tells her.  "He loves me.  We wanted to be together.  It's as simple as that."

"No, Christopher, it's not as simple as that.  I...I need some time to register all this."  His mom shakes her head and starts to walk away.  "Give me some time."

"Alright," Chris reluctantly agrees, watching her leave.  Sagging back in the chair, he pulls out his phone and calls Darren.  "Hey," he says when he answers after a few rings, trying to sound cheerful, but failing.  "Can I come back over?"

~

A few days later sitting at Darren's breakfast bar wearing only one of his oversized shirts that fits very big on him, feet up on the edge of the chair, and knees to his chest, Chris eats a grape from the fruit salad Darren made for him.

It's been about four days since he told his mom the truth about Darren and he.  He has yet to go back home since he left.  He knows she needs time to process everything he told her, but he didn't think it would take her this long.

Wanting to call her, he doesn't.  He figures she'll call when she's ready to talk to him.  But with each passing hour, he starts to suspect it's not her trying to process what he told her that has kept her from calling.  He's been constantly checking his phone and seeing if he has any new messages; he sighs, and feels a bit hurt, when there's nothing.  "She's being stubborn," he says as he grabs a strawberry halve.

"Can you blame her?"  Darren sets his plate down and sits next to him.  "You kind of dropped big news on her.  You just have to give her the time she asked for."

"I know.  But...Four days!"  Chris exclaims as he throws his hands in the air.  "Not a single word from her.  It took less time for her to forgive my dad for forgetting their fifteenth wedding anniversary."

"She's processing," Darren tells him.  "She'll contact you when she's ready."

"How can you be so calm about this?"  Chris asks as he pops a piece of cantaloupe into his mouth.

"Trust me," Darren chuckles, "I'm internally freaking out over it all.  But you don't need to worry about me, that's why I'm hiding it."

"Well, you're doing a good job of it."  Chris steps off his chair and climbs up into Darren's lap, winding his arms around his neck.  He needs to not think about his mom being mad with him, and he knows the perfect distraction.  "Let's go back to bed and have sex."

"I just spent all night fucking you.  And once this morning, already."

"And your point being?"  Chris grins as he reaches down and starts to palm Darren, feeling him grow hard under his hand.

"I haven't even eaten breakfast, yet," Darren says with a laugh as he grabs a piece of melon from his bowl.

"Why bother with breakfast when you can have me."  Chris smirks as he reaches down and pulls off the shirt he's wearing.  Dropping it to the floor, and now naked on Darren's lap, he leans forward and brushes their mouths together.  Flicking his tongue over Darren's top lip, he rolls his hips down, sending sparks of pleasure through him.  "Think about it."  Chris smirks as he steps off Darren's lap.

Heading for the stairs, Chris laughs when Darren instantly comes up behind him.

"Breakfast can wait," Darren tells him with a small growl.

~

Softly moaning as Darren continues to thrust into him at a steady, even pace, heat and pleasure unfurling in his belly and spreading through him, Chris clutches at Darren's sides.  Arching his back, feeling lips press to the column of his neck when he tips his head back, he rolls his hips down to meet the thrusts of Darren into him.

"Harder...Fuck me harder, Dare," he whines into Darren's ear.

Watching Darren push up onto his forearms, one hand moving to grip the headboard, Chris moans obscenely loud as Darren starts to fuck into him with deep, hard snaps of his hips.

Lifting his knees higher on either side of Darren, winding his arms around his back and grabbing at his shoulders, Chris rocks his hips down as Darren pounds into him.

If there's one small silver lining to this whole thing is all the time he's gotten to spend with Darren.  Granted, most of it has involved them naked, or partially naked.  They've found no need for more than underwear when they know their clothes wouldn't stay on for long.  Just the day before, Darren and he spent it naked in bed, and just as he said he planned he would, Darren had him falling apart with his tongue.  By the time Darren pushed into him he was a babbling mess that was desperate to come.

"Oh, fuck!"  Chris throws his head back and screams as Darren manages to thrust in and brush his prostate, creating pleasure under his skin.  "Fuck!  That feels good."

Moaning as Darren continues to fuck him, but not hitting his prostate, Chris lets out an annoyed groan at what he's doing.  "Stop being an asshole," he gripes at Darren.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Darren says with a grin, trying to act innocent.  "I'm just fucking you; doing nothing wrong."

"You're teasing me."

"Am I?"  Darren asks with a deep, hard thrust of his hips, making Chris tip his head back and loudly moan.

"Y-yes," Chris pants.

"Really?  I didn't even know I was doing it."  Darren smirks.

"Liar," Chris playfully remarks.

Having enough of Darren's teasing, Chris decides to do something about it.  So, holding tight to Darren, he turns them over.  Spreading his knees apart, and sinking down the rest of the way on Darren's dick, Chris moans at being so full.

Swiveling and shifting his hips around, he quietly groans when he gets what he wants when he feels the head of Darren's cock brush his prostate.  Planting his hands on Darren's chest, grinning, Chris raises up to his knees until just the head of Darren's cock stretches him open.  Rolling his hips forward gently, teasing Darren for a few seconds just to be mean, smiling when he starts to get desperate.

"I'm sorry," Darren laughs.

"What was that?"  Chris says with a hint of laughter to his voice as he grins at Darren.

"I'm sorry," Darren repeats with a chuckle.  "I won't do it again."

Chris fights Darren when he tries to thrust his hips up.  "I know you," he says as he barely rocks his hips forward, feeling his thighs starting to ache and tremble.  "You will do it again.  But that's okay."  Chris slams his hips down, watching Darren arch his back and release a loud moan.  "Because, I like teasing you, too."

"Good."  Darren grins.  "Now, stop teasing me, please, and ride me."

Chris curls his fingers into Darren's chest and starts to ride him at a hard, fast pace.  “Oh, fuck,” he curses as he moves his hips.

The sound of someone suddenly knocking on the front door has them both stopping and looking at each other in confusion.  Chris wonders if Darren is expecting anybody or anything.  He shrugs his shoulders and gives him a quizzical look.  "You expecting someone?" he asks.

"No."  Darren shakes his head.

Reaching over and grabbing his phone when it buzzes with a new message, Chris reads it and immediately drops it to the bed.  "No!  Fucking!  Way!"  Covering his face with his hands, filled with embarrassment, Chris lets out a groan.

"What?"  Darren curiously asks.

"My mom is here," Chris informs him, looking at him through his fingers, a deep red already staining his cheeks.  "I'm so sorry.  I didn't know s-"

"Hey," Darren softly chuckles as he pulls one of Chris' hands away.  "It's okay.  You wanted her to talk to you. At least she's finally doing that."

"I know.  But I didn't expect her to come to your house."  Collapsing on top of Darren, he feels all traces of arousal and want for Darren leave, but still missing him when he pulls out of his body.  "Guess we should get dressed."  He rolls off Darren, letting out a huff of breath, never expecting this to happen.

"Yeah."  Darren climbs off the bed; Chris admires the view of him standing there naked.

Hearing another knock come from downstairs, Chris rolls over and buries his face in a pillow.  Screaming into the pillow to get out some frustration, he feels a bit better as he turns to look at Darren.  "I'm staying up here for now," he says as he sits up.

“Let me go let her in before she breaks down my front door.”  Darren quickly pulls on a pair of boxers, and is pulling on a plain white cotton shirt as he leaves.

Lying back down and listening, Chris hears Darren tell his mom hello as he lets her in.  He doesn’t make out what she says in reply.  "Just sit down and I'll go change and get Chris."  Listening to Darren try to be as polite as possible to his mom, Chris feels so bad.  He knows he owes him big time for sending him down to deal with his mom alone for now.

Hearing him sprint up the stairs, he moves to sit on the edge of the bed.  "So?" he says when Darren comes back into the room.

"I think your mom hates me," Darren says as he rummages in his drawers for a change of clothes.  "If she didn't before, she definitely does now."

"What makes you think that?"  Chris asks as he stands up off the bed, letting the sheet fall away from his naked body.

"She took one look at me, and I could see it in her eyes she knew what we were doing before she knocked."  Chris takes the sweatpants Darren offers him and starts to pull them on, then pulling on the shirt Darren gives him.  "She sees me as the old guy who fucks her eighteen year old son."

"Mmm," Chris sighs as he leans forward and nuzzles his face in the curve of Darren's neck, gently nipping at tan skin.  "But you do it so well," he growls into Darren's ear, barely rocking his hips forward, hearing him softly groan.

"Not the point," Darren says as he gets a hold on Chris and pushes him away; putting some much needed space between them.

"What's the point?"  Chris pushes against Darren's hold on him, eager to be close to him again.  The sudden urge to press close and feel Darren's naked body move against his is all Chris can think about.

"The point is that I'm scared shitless right now as your mom waits for us downstairs in my living room," Darren dejectedly sighs as he drops his arms from Chris, slumping his shoulders.  "I don't know if I can do this.  And it doesn't help that you're trying to jump me at the moment."

"Hey!"  Chris wraps his arms around Darren's waist and presses close to his warm body, no longer trying seduce Darren back to bed where they can't go at the moment.  "I'm stopping, I promise.  Besides, it'll be okay.  You just be your charming, amazing self that I fell in love with and everything will be fine."

"I wish I had your optimism."

"I'm choosing to be optimistic to stop myself from having a panic attack at the current moment."

"Well, it's good to know you're freaking out as well."  Darren drops his forehead to Chris' and releases a heavy sigh.  "We can do this, right?"

"Yes, Dare," Chris says as he stares into Darren's eyes filled with a bit of fright.  He wishes he could just hold Darren until that fear went away, but he knows he can't.  They have to get downstairs and talk with his mom.  "We can do this."

"Okay.  But if your mom does kill me," Darren says.  Chris lets out a small laugh.  "I just want you to know I love you very much."

"If my mom does kill you," Chris says, using Darren's words.  "I want you to know I'm keeping your bed.  It's very comfortable."  Chris bursts out laughing when Darren starts to tickle him.  He tries to squirm away, but it's to no effect.  "Okay," he says around his laughter.  "Okay.  I love you, too."  Composing himself after Darren stops tickling, Chris leans forward and nuzzles his nose in the curve of Darren's neck.  "Come on," he whispers.  "We better get downstairs before she starts to worry."

"Okay," Darren agrees with a small sigh.

Taking Darren's hand in his, and giving it an encouraging squeeze, Chris slowly leads him down the stairs to where his mom waits for them.  With each step they take, Chris can feel the pressure mounting.  The fear of what his mom could say, of what she could do grips him hard.  It almost roots him to the spot where he stands at the bottom of the steps as he realizes this could all go so very bad.  But he hopes and prays that it at least turns out bit better than what he’s thinking it could be.

"Hi, Mom," Chris says in a soft voice as he smiles.

"Hello, sweetie," his mom replies with a small smile.

Chris squeezes Darren's hand, trying to tell him it's going to be fine.  Because in that moment, Chris knows that is true.  His mom is no longer angry or upset with him.  He can tell by her use of the term of endearment she used.  That has a sigh of relief washing over Chris.  It's then that he knows this won't be too terrible.

Taking a seat on the other end of the couch, Darren sitting right behind him, still holding hands, Chris returns the smile his mom has.

"Mom, you remember Darren," he tells her with a shaky voice as he looks to Darren.

"Hello, Darren," she politely says.

"Hi, Mrs. Colfer," Darren replies, voice trembling out of nerves.

"Not how I imagined meeting you again," she says with the smallest of laughs.

Chris lets out a small laugh as well.

"I'm sorry for that," Darren apologizes.

"Don't apologize," she softly says.

For a few moments, they sit in silence.  Chris starts to worry, again, that maybe his mom is starting to realize how crazy this all is.  Because, in a way, it is crazy.  It's crazy for him to be eighteen and in love with someone eleven years older than him; a same someone that was his former English teacher he has been secretly dating for almost a year.  But, even if it is crazy, Chris knows life is about doing crazy things.  Life is falling in love, and doing anything to be with that person.  It's, sometimes, about breaking rules and going against the norm.  In life, there needs to be some craziness to feel human.  And at this precise moment, he feels more human than he could imagine.

"So, Darren," Chris hears his mom say in a serious voice after a while.  "You love my son?"

"Yes, Mrs. Colfer," Darren answers with an unwavering, sure tone of voice.  "I love him more than anything in this world."

Chris squeezes Darren's hand, mouthing he loves him, noticing the corner of Darren's mouth twitch up in a smile.

"I know he feels the same," she says.

"I do," Chris replies as he nods his head.

"I’m sure he’s told you how I feel about how you two went about getting together.”

“Yes,” Darren nods his head, “he did.  And I apologize, again, for that.  But I tried so hard not to succumb to how I felt for him.  I couldn’t, though.  I couldn’t just stand back and love him from a distance.”

Chris feels his heart race with how much love there is in Darren’s voice as he talks about him.  It’s so evident how he feels that Chris will never doubt Darren’s true feelings for him.  All he has to do is hear him talk about him, and he will know.

“Did you think about what it would cost you both if you were found out?” she asks in a curious voice.

“Yeah, I did.  It’s the main reason I fought against my feelings for him for so long.  I didn’t want to risk our lives for something that I thought was just a crush at first,” Darren goes about explaining.  “But when I felt my feelings for him grow into something so much more than a crush, that’s when I couldn’t just stand back.  I thought about what it could mean for me, but I knew he was worth it.  I knew he was worth risking everything to be with him.”

“You were willing to give up everything for him?”  Chris hears his mom ask in a slightly shocked voice.

“Yes,” Darren truthfully answers with a sureness to his voice that makes Chris heart swell with even more love for him.

“Don’t hurt my son,” Chris hears his mom warn Darren in a sharp tone of voice after a few moments.

"I can't promise I won't hurt him.  I know we'll argue and fight.  But, I do promise to love him still through it all; I promise to stay by his side for however long he'll let me be there."

"Forever," Chris leans over and whispers into Darren's ear.

"Okay."  Chris turns to see his mom stand up, unreadable expression on her face.  "I still don't approve of how you two went about with this relationship.  But I can see you love my son, Mr. Criss.  And I've noticed, and can clearly see, how much Chris loves you."  She takes a deep breath before continuing.  "I'll still need time to be fully okay with this, but I'm very happy for you two.  I want what’s best for Chris, and I know that’s you, Darren.  You make him happy, and he deserves happy.  He deserves you.”

Chris notices the huge smile spread across Darren’s face before he stands up and pulls his mom into a tight hug, completely taken aback by her words.  For her to say that means the world to him.  It means that she trusts Darren; that she approves of him.  “Thank you so much, Mom,” he tells her.

"Don't ever lie to me like that again, Chris," she whispers into his ear.

"Yes, Mom."  Chris nods his head as he pulls away, huge smile on his face.

"Darren," she says to get his attention.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Be good to him," she says as she cups the side of Chris' face, stroking her thumb over his cheek.  "You love him like you say you do, and I thank you for that.  He deserves that kind of love."

"I promise," Darren tells her.

“I guess I should be going, then.”

Chris takes Darren’s hand in his again as they walk his mom to the front door.  Telling her bye, saying he’ll be home later, he watches her drive off, waving when she waves to Darren and him.  Resting his head on Darren’s shoulder, he lets out a relived sigh of breath after he sees his mom car disappear around down the street.

“That went better than expected,” Darren says as he wraps an arm around Chris waist, gently squeezing at his hip.

“So much better,” Chris adds.  “You’re not dead.”

Darren laughs.  “Yeah,” he agrees.  “I’m not dead.  And, I think she might actually like me.”

“I think she might.”  Lifting his head and placing a kiss to Darren’s scruffy jaw, Chris turns to walk back inside.  “Let’s go back inside.  It’s hot out here.”

“Okay,” Darren says as he follows him.

Once inside, Chris presses close to Darren’s body, winding his arms around his neck, and holding him close.  “So,” he chuckles as he presses his face into the slope of Darren’s neck.  “When do we tell her we’re moving in together?”  The only response he gets from Darren is a small groan which makes him laugh harder.


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The POV changes to Darren's. Letting you know before yo read.

**Three Years Later**

The sight of him alone is enough to make his heart stop and breath come up short.  Watching as he sleeps, chest rhythmically rising and falling, full pink lips slightly parted as he breathes, his gorgeous naked body on totally display for him after he kicked away the sheets.  Darren bites his lip as he smiles at that; shortly after moving in together, it was one of the things he learned Chris did.  There are other things.  How he likes to eat Coca Puffs with chocolate milk even though the milk turns to chocolate milk in the end.  How he bakes to clear his mind when he's overwhelmed by all his class work.  Or how he quietly starts to hum when he's bored.  It's a few of many habits of his that he finds cute.

But even his annoying habits, like deleting shows he fully intended to watch even though they've been on the DVR for over month.  How he leaves his cereal bowl in the sink every morning with milk still in it when it would take less than a minute to clean.  Or how he has a specific way of folding clothes that makes no difference to how he folds them.  Even those habits he finds cute and easy to deal with.

That's one of the many reasons he knows he will never love another person like he loves Chris.  He will never need or want another.  Scooting over and adoringly gazing down at Chris, stroking his thumb over his warm cheek as he slowly wakes up, he knows this is definitely what he's wanted all his life.  He could search, but he doesn't need to.  The person he wants to spend forever with is right here.

And he doesn't want to lose it.

"Morning," Chris sleepily mumbles, stretching and yawning, blue eyes swimming with love as he gazes up at him.

"Marry me?"

Chris freezes and looks up at him in shock.  "What?"

Darren leans back when he moves to sit up.

"Hold on."  Climbing off the bed and walking to the dresser across the room, rifling around in a drawer for the socks he's looking for, he grins when he finds them.  Dumping out the small jewelry box, he walks to the bed and sits back down.  Looking at Chris, he can see his eyes wide with shock.  "I had a whole date and speech prepared," Darren says as he opens the box.  Grabbing the silver ring nestled in the cushion inside, he sets the box aside.  "But...I just have to ask you now.  I need you to know how much I love you; and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"How...How long have you been planning to ask me?"  Darren watches as Chris tentatively reaches out and runs his thumb over the cold metal.

"About five months."

"Five months!"  Chris says in shock.  "Why have you waited so long?"

"I guess I was terrified of you saying no," Darren admits.

"Dare," Chris beams at him, "I would never say no."

At those words, Darren feels his world completely brighten with all the possibilities life would bring married to Chris.

"I had planned to do this when we were wearing a bit more clothes."  Laughing, he grabs Chris' hand and brings the ring up to his finger.  "So," he breathes, "will you marry me, Chris?"

"Yes!  Yes!  Yes!"  Chris throws himself into Darren's arms after he slips the ring on and frantically kisses him.  "And it's a good thing there are less clothes than you imagined."

"Why?"  Darren asks even though he knows the answer.

"Means we can jump right in and start having celebratory sex."

"Like you need an excuse to have sex," Darren playfully retorts.

"True."  Chris nods his head and giggles.  "But this is sex as fiancés, so it's kind of mandatory."

Darren just chuckles as he grabs Chris and flips him to the bed.

A few hours later after they've managed to climb out of bed, sitting on the chair and talking to his mom on the phone, he watches as an excited Chris tells Linden the news.

"What?"  He says after being distracted by his fiancé.  Fiancé!  That word makes him so happy that he might burst with joy.  "No, Mom.  Everything's fine.  No one is hurt or in trouble."

Watching Chris, who catches him staring and smiles at him, Darren loses all coherent thoughts when Chris pushes his hand past the waistband of pajama bottoms.  "No, Mom, I'm still here," he says as he watches Chris slowly start to stroke himself in his pants.  "I just have great news."

"Yes, Linden," Chris says as he keeps eye contact with Darren as he continues to move his hand.  Darren sees as he bites his lower lip when he thumbs at the head of his cock.  "It was a total surprise."

"Yeah, Mom," Darren says into the receiver, feeling his dick twitch in interest at the little display Chris is putting on for him at the current moment.  "It's really great news."

"Where was I?"  Chris repeats the question Linden just asked.  "I was naked in bed this morning when he asked."

"I asked Chris to marry me," Darren tells his mom, hearing her scream with delight.  Pulling the phone away from his ear for a second as his mom frantically yells for his dad, he continues to watch as Chris jerks off, arching his back and pushing his hips up into his fist.  Reaching down, Darren palms himself over his underwear.

"You asked, Linden," Chris chuckles.  "So, I told you.  Despite what you think, it was very romantic."  Darren watches as Chris lifts one of his legs and places his foot on the edge, pushing his hand lower.  "Yes, we've been going at it like crazy since this morning."

"Listen, Mom, I gotta go," Darren says after she finishes telling his dad the news.  "I have other people to call. I call you again later, okay?  Bye."  Hanging up the phone, not the least bit guilty at ending the call with his mom short to watch his fiancé, Darren doesn't move to go over to Chris; he sits and continue to enjoy the show.

"Yeah, you can do that instead."  Darren watches as Chris tips his head back, fluttering his eyes closed, turning the receiver away from him as he softly moans when he pushes a finger into his hole he knows is still stretched from earlier.  "It won't be a problem."

Feeling his fingers itching to push into Chris and further work him open, he resist for a bit longer and watches.  He watches as Chris keeps his eye contact as he works the finger into himself, replying with a necessary yeah or okay when Linden says something.  Noticing Chris' chest flush from heat and pleasure, he groans at the sight of Chris working his hips down on his fingers; he knows Chris has pushed in with a second one.

And he can picture it in his head.  He can see Chris' hole stretched around the fingers he works into his body.  It's a sight he's seen before; one Chris has let him enjoy on a few occasions.  It's not even the wildest or craziest thing they do together.  It's just Chris lying back on the bed, ass facing him and legs spread open so he can watch as he fingers himself.  It always gets him harder than anything, watching Chris work himself open.  Watching as he brings himself pleasure, body arching off the bed, crying out his name, begging for him to fuck him.  It's usually after he's worked three fingers into himself for some time that he pulls his hand away and lubes up his aching cock and buries himself deep inside Chris.  It doesn't take but a few hard snaps of his hips before they are both coming.

Those orgasms always seem to linger for hours after they have died off, pleasure still swimming under their skin.

No longer able to just sit back and watch, Darren stands up and closes the space between Chris and he in less than three steps.  Leaning down and taking his mouth in a hungry, frantic, desperate kiss, teeth dragging along his lower lip, Darren hears Linden on the other end of the phone.  Hearing her doesn't deter him from getting what they obviously both want at the moment.

Moving to kiss along Chris' jaw, he gently nibbles at his ear.  "Want to fuck you," he whispers into Chris' ear, smiling at the low moan he releases.

"No...No, Linden," Chris says with slightly heavy breathing.  "I'm fine.  It's nothing."

"You'd take my cock so easy, baby.  Still stretched from everything we did earlier."  Chuckling into Chris' ear when he arches up into his hand when he starts to palm him over his pants, moaning more loudly.  Hearing Linden ask Chris if he's fooling around at the moment, he easily takes the phone from Chris' hand; he gets no complaints from Chris, who is lifting his hips up into the hand he's still palming him with.  "Hey, Linden," he says into the receiver as he grins down at Chris.

"Hey, Mr. Criss," Linden cheerily greets him.

"I haven't been your teacher for over two years, Lin.  Call me Darren."  Looking down at a dazed Chris, Darren knows he needs to get off the phone quick with Linden.

"Sorry, Darren.  Old habits die hard."

"No problem.  Listen," Darren says.  "I'm about to have some fun with my fiancé.  We'll call you later about an engagement party."

"I can take a hint.  More like a huge sign in my face," Linden laughs.  "Tell Chris, after you two have fun, that Matthew wants you both over for dinner soon."

"Will do," Darren responds.  "Bye, Lin."

"Bye, Darren."

Hearing the dial tone after Linden hangs up, Darren tosses the phone onto the couch.  "What did Linden say to you?"  He kneels down between Chris' legs and pulls him until his ass is hanging off the edge of the couch.

"After she screamed in the receiver for five minutes," Chris chuckles as he lifts his hips, letting Darren pull down his pajama pants.  "She told me she was thrilled for me.  And then she said she better be my Best Man at the wedding."

"Did you tell her yes?"  Darren riffles around in the couch for the bottle of lube he knows is there.

"Of course I did."  Chris arches his back and lets out a soft moan after Darren finds the lube and pushes in with two fingers.  "Told...Told her she cou-could help plan, if she...she wanted to."

"Does she want to?"  Darren twists his wrist and brushes his fingers over Chris' prostate, feeling his hand come down and clamp his shoulder, fingers digging in hard to his flesh.

"She w-wants to plan the...the bachelor party only."  Chris swivels his hips to try and get more friction, trying to get Darren's fingers to hit his prostate again.

"Of course she does," Darren chuckles.  Leaning down and licking a stripe up the underside of Chris' cock, he wraps his lips around the head and gives it a good suck.  Sinking his mouth down all the way, taking all of Chris, his pubic hair tickling the tip of his nose, he runs his tongue up the vein on the underside.  Sucking and swallowing around Chris' cock, loving the weight of him on his tongue, he knows he could stay here and suck Chris until he's coming down his throat.  But he won't; he wants to be buried inside him, inside that luscious body.  Swallowing around him, he steadily thrust his fingers into Chris' ass at the same time.

"Fuck, Darren!"  Chris tugs at Darren's curls, working his hips down on Darren's fingers, and then up into his mouth.

Pulling completely off Chris, swiping his tongue over the head of his cock, tasting the pre-cum gathered there, his voice is a bit scratchy when he talks.  "Is that what you want, baby?"  He grins mischievously up at Chris.  "Want me to push my cock into that sweet ass of yours and fuck you until you're screaming my name, begging me to come?"  Pushing his fingers in as deep as he can, he searches out Chris' prostate.  Hearing him scream when he finds it, he intentionally keeps pushing on it to drive Chris wild.  "You didn't answer me, baby."  He pushes up against his prostate again, making him loudly moan.  He bats Chris' hand away when he tries to wrap it around his leaking cock.  "No.  You'll come when I'm inside you."

"Yes.  Yes...Please," Chris begs, reaching behind him to grab the back of the couch, using the leverage to work his hips down hard on Darren's fingers.

Darren watches the bow of Chris' back as he seeks out more friction, as he tries to get more of what Darren is currently giving him.  "Yes, what?" he cheekily asks, wanting to hear Chris beg.

"Yes...Fuck me," Chris clarifies with a broken voice, desperation and need in his eyes when he looks to Darren.  "Fill me up with your gorgeous cock and fuck me until I scream."

Not needing to hear more, Darren pulls his fingers out and pushes his underwear off his hips.  Stroking himself a few times to slick up his cock with the remaining lube on his hand, he grabs at Chris' hips when he's done.  Easily flipping him over on to his stomach, groaning when he tilts his ass higher for him, he scoots back a little and pulls Chris until he's kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"Gonna fuck you like this."  Darren places his hands on Chris' ass cheeks, feeling the soft flesh beneath his hands as he spreads them.

"We're gonna get rug burn on our knees," Chris points out as he pushes his ass back, brushing Darren's cock.

"Do you care?"  Darren reaches down and presses the head of his cock to Chris' hole, not the least bit concerned about his knees.

"Not at the moment."  Chris looks over his shoulder and grins.

Leaning forward and hungrily kissing Chris, swallowing the deep moan he releases when he pushes into him with one hard, quick snap of his hips.  Reveling in the heat and tightness of Chris' ass around his cock for a few seconds, wishing he could stay there forever.  But he knows with the teasing he won't be lasting long.

"You feel so good, Dare," Chris pants as he rocks his hips back, softly whining as he manages to get Darren a bit deeper.  "So good inside me."

Kissing Chris again, slowly this time, he pulls away and rests his forehead to Chris' temple for a second and catches his breath.  Hearing Chris start to get restless and desperate, he sits up. 

Placing a hand at the middle of Chris' back, pushing him until he's lying bent over the couch, he looks down and watches as he slowly pulls his cock out of Chris' ass.  Teasing Chris by keeping just the head of his cock inside him, he gently rocks his hips and keeps from sinking back inside Chris' delicious ass.

"Fuck, Chris," Darren groans, using all his strength to hold back, to keep from pounding into him until he is screaming his name.

"Please, Dare."  Chris pushes up onto his elbows and begs.

Grabbing Chris' hips and stopping him from slamming them back on his cock, Darren hears the desperation in his voice.  Sinking his cock back into the marvelous heat of Chris' body, he sees him drop his head and sigh.  Keeping his hips to Chris' ass, barely rocking them forward, he chuckles as Chris starts to try and fuck his hips back on him without much success.  He bites his lip to keep in the laugh that wants to escape when Chris groans in annoyance.  "So eager for my cock," he growls into Chris' ear.  "What do you want?"

"Please," Chris whines as he rocks his hips back.  "Please, fuck me."

"I am fucking you."  Darren slowly pulls back, and slowly sinks back in, making Chris whine low in his throat.  Looking down and watching as he does it again, he groans at the sight of his cock disappearing into Chris' ass, not able to tear his eyes away from the sight.  "You take it so well."

"Oh, God!"  Chris drops back to the couch and pushes his ass out more.

"I want to hear you say my name."  Darren digs his fingers into Chris' hips as he swivels his, enjoying himself; he knows Chris is enjoying it too.  "You say my name."  Pulling his hips back, he snaps them forward, jostling Chris and pushing him up the couch a bit.

"Darren!"  Chris screams, forgetting the neighbors might hear him, not caring; he arches his back as his hands scramble to look for purchase on anything.  "Fuck me hard, Dare."

Reaching up with one hand to grab at Chris' shoulder, gripping his hip tight with the other, Darren drags his hips back and then slams them forward.  Quickly picking up a fast rhythm of fucking Chris, repeatedly sinking his cock into his ass, loving the drag and pull.  As he fucks him, he watches as Chris rolls his hips back on him, watches the roll of his whole body as he uses Darren's dick for his own pleasure.  Darren loves the sight; he always has.  He knows that sometimes Chris is so desperate and needy he'll use his cock just to get off, to give his body what he craves; and he doesn't mind.  He likes watching when Chris is like that; when he is so lost in his own pleasure he forgets about everything but getting off.  It's resulted in some crazy sex in crazy places.

But at the moment, in the living room of their apartment, Darren watches as Chris rolls his hips back, and then ruts against the couch cushion seeking friction on his cock.

Kissing up his spine, he leans down and covers his back.  Hearing him moan when he sinks in deeper, he starts to kiss along his shoulder and up his neck.  Taking Chris' lips in a kiss that's all tongue and teeth when he turns to him, dragging his teeth along Chris' bottom lip.  He pushes back up.

Slamming into Chris, hearing him groan, he rotates his hips until he brushes Chris' prostate.  Smiling when he finds it, evident by the loud moan Chris releases, he starts to fuck into him, and making sure he hits that spot.  Hitting it over and over again, Chris screaming into the couch cushion, Darren feels the heat start to build in his lower belly.

"I'm close," he tells Chris as he fucks forward into him.

"Come in me, Darren," Chris says.  "Fill my ass like I know you like."

Fucking Chris fast and hard after that, getting closer with each snap of his hips, he moans at how good it feels.  Slamming his hips forward one last time, Darren spills inside Chris.  Working his hips through his orgasm, pulsing inside Chris, he collapses against Chris' back when he has nothing left to give.  Kissing along Chris' neck, slowly pulling out, he instantly misses the feeling of being surrounded by Chris. 

Chuckling when Chris rocks his hips back on him, ass brushing over his sensitive cock, and whimpering.  He then remembers.  "You want to come?"  Reaching around Chris, he takes his dick in hand.  Tentatively stroking his hand up, and then back down, Darren knows how desperate Chris is to come.

"Yes," Chris pants, pushing his hips up into Darren's fist.

"What if I made you wait?" he growls into Chris' ear.  "What if I made you wait until I was hard and could fuck you again; could fill that ass up more with my cum?"  He groans when he feels Chris' cock twitch in his hand.  "Is that what you want?"

"Yes.  Oh, God, yes!"

When Chris looks at him over his shoulder with a worried look, Darren starts to worry himself.  "What?" he asks in a sincere voice.

"Can we get on the couch?  My knees hurt."

Darren chuckles as he nods his head, glad Chris made the suggestion.  He can feel the ache in his knees from kneeling too long.

Grabbing one of the blankets and spreading it out on the couch, Chris lies down on his back and spreads his legs.  Darren watches as he slowly starts to pump his cock to give himself what he needs.  On top of stroking himself, Darren stares as Chris sucks three of his fingers of his other hand into his mouth.  He stares as Chris thoroughly wets his fingers, eyes still locked on his, before pulling them out and reaching down between his legs.  Releasing a groan as he watches Chris easily push the three fingers into his ass, tipping his head back and arching his body up, letting out little gasps and whimpers for added effect, Darren can’t tear his eyes away from the little show Chris is putting on for him.  He lustfully stares, feeling arousal pool in his belly, at Chris as he fingers himself as he continues to stroke his cock.  The sight alone is enough for him to start getting hard again.

He'd say he has a pretty great recovery time for a thirty-two year old.  It's seems to be even better than when he was with his ex's.  Chris seems to bring out the best in him in many ways. 

Chris, he's learned in the over two years they've been having sex, is insatiable.  But he loves to be the one to feed his never ending appetite.  He loves fucking him until he gets that release he is seeking; loves making him fall apart with just his mouth, or fingers, and sometimes his tongue.

Reaching down on the floor for the discarded bottle of lube after a few minutes of watching Chris, Darren squeezes lube onto his palm and strokes himself a few times.  Batting Chris' hand away from his dick, he lines himself up with his stretched hole.  Easily pushing into the slickness, Chris moaning and arching his back, he sinks deep until his hips hit the swell of Chris' ass.  He doesn't even wait to start fucking him.

Shoving a hand under Chris and reaching up and grabbing at his shoulder, his other hand tangling into his hair and pulling his head back to expose the creamy skin of his long neck, Darren starts to fuck into him.  He listens to the moans Chris lets fall from his mouth as he thrusts his hips down to meet the thrusts of Darren’s hips into him.

"God, I love your dick," Chris says as Darren pounds into him, lifting his legs to wrap around Darren's waist.

"That comes as no surprise to me," Darren chuckles as he snaps his hips forward hard.

"I want to ride you," Chris tells him.  "Want to ride your cock."

Carefully flipping them over and lying back against the couch, Chris settling on top of him, he plants one foot on the ground and bends his knee and plants the other one on the couch.  Using the leverage, he starts to fuck up into Chris as he snaps his hips down.

The sound of skin slapping against skin and breathy moans and whimpers mixing together are the only things heard in the otherwise quiet apartment.  The sensation of fingernails breaking skin from the hands Chris has planted on his chest is ignored in favor of the dizzying pleasure coursing through his body.

Moaning when Chris starts to rise to his knees until he's only stretched open by the head of his cock, swiveling his hips and then slamming them back down.  He does that a few times, and soon Darren figures out what he's doing.

Holding Chris' hips against his when he slams down, he rotates and swivels his hips until the head of his cock brushes Chris' prostate.  Hearing him loudly moan, and start to fuck down on him, and making sure to hit that spot, he revels in watching Chris bounce up and down on his dick.  It's Chris' favorite position, and he knows he's thoroughly enjoying himself.

Reaching for his cock that bounces against his belly, he starts to stroke him. Feeling Chris work his hips down on him and then push up into his fist, he can tell Chris is close by the babbling, unintelligible things he is saying.  Stroking up and thumbing at the head, Darren stares as he bows and arches his back, screaming his name as he comes.  He sees as white ropes of cum shoot up and hit Chris' stomach, some of it hitting him too.

Soon, Chris starts to slow his hips.

Grabbing Chris and flipping him to the couch, he grabs his thighs and fucks him hard and fast.  Pounding into his ass seeking his second release, fucking Chris through the last of his orgasm, he buries himself deep one last time and stutters his hips.  Spilling inside Chris one more time, he works his hips until it's too much.

Slowly pulling out, Chris sighing, he looks down and watches as his cum starts to trickle out of Chris.  Pressing a thumb to his hole, hearing Chris moan, feeling the warm liquid spill out, Darren feels his body try to get interested again too soon.  Pulling his hand away, bringing his thumb up to Chris' mouth and staring as he takes it between his pretty pink lips and licks it clean.  Groaning at the sight, he bends down and captures his mouth in a wild kiss; parting his lips, he tastes himself on Chris' tongue when he thrust his tongue into his mouth.

Kissing his way down Chris' neck, lightly nipping at the skin of his collarbone, Darren rests his head on Chris’ shoulder afterwards, releasing an exasperated breath.

"Wow!"  Chris chuckles as he aimlessly runs his fingers through Darren's curls.  "We should get engaged more often."

Darren softly chuckles.  Lying there in a comfortable silence for a few moments, slowly being soothed to sleep by Chris' fingers running through his hair and gently massaging his scalp, he feels his eyes start to get heavy.

"Oh, God!"  He hears Chris suddenly exclaim, sounding terrified, and jolting him awake.

"What?"  Lifting his head and looking down at Chris, staring into his eyes as he looks up at him, he wonders what could have him so worried.

"We have to tell my mom," Chris replies.

Darren groans as he drops his head into the curve of Chris’ neck.  Of all the things he dreads doing, telling Chris’ mom the big news is the scariest thing of all for him.

~

It still took several months after they told Chris' mom everything before she really started to see him as more than just the older guy that was with her son.  It wasn't an easy journey to get to the relationship they now share.  And Darren understood where her discontent with him came from.  He did something wrong and unprofessional.  He jeopardized the future of her son, and in the process, had him lie for him.  So, yeah, her feelings towards him for those first few months were warranted.  He never blamed her for how she felt.

Standing in front of the mirror attempting to tie his tie properly, all Darren can think about is how Karyn is going to react to him after they tell her.  Anger and yelling and frustration are only a few of the things he expects tonight.  And he wouldn't blame her one bit.

"She's gonna hate me, again," he groans as he gives up on his tie and falls back on the bed.

"No, she won't," Chris assures him in a comforting voice as he climbs on the bed and straddles his waist.  "You're thinking the worst."

"No!  She will hate me."  Darren notices the amused smile on Chris' face as he grabs his tie and starts to tie it for him.  "First I secretly date you while I'm still your teacher in high school.  Now I propose marriage when you're only twenty-one."

"Well, if she does kill you, we'll be in a restaurant and there will be witnesses," Chris jokes as he shimmies the knot of the tie up until it's resting against Darren's throat, smoothing his hands down the silk.  "But don't worry, she won't."

"That's what you think."  Darren brings his hands up to his face and lets out a small groan.

"I highly doubt she'll kill the person I love most in this world."  Chris tugs at Darren's hands until he manages to pull them away.

"Can we delay telling her for a few more days?"  Darren seriously suggests.

"No.  It's already been a week since we got engaged.  Everybody knows, but her.  Besides, she's already on her way to see us.  Can’t tell her to stop and turn around without raising suspicion in her," Chris reminds him.  "Anyways, wouldn't it be best to get this over with?"

"I guess you're right," Darren agrees with a sigh.

"I'm always right."

Sighing into the kiss Chris gives him when he leans down, Darren can feel as some of his nerves about this dinner wash away.  Grabbing behind Chris' neck and deepening the kiss, he reaches down with his other hand and grabs at Chris' ass.

Massaging the flesh, making Chris whimper into his mouth, he pulls him until he's completely lying atop him.  Grabbing Chris and flipping him to the bed, hearing him delightedly scream, he leans down and kisses him rough and hard.  Feeling arms wind around his neck, and legs wrap around his waist, he knows where this could quickly go.

Kissing Chris, thrusting his tongue into his mouth, and gently nipping on his bottom lip, he gasps when Chris rolls his hips up into him.  He feels his hard cock brush along his semi-hard one.  "As much as I want to; and I really want to," Darren mumbles against Chris' lips.  "We don't have time."

"Will you fuck me later?"  Chris asks as he arches his back and lifts his hips.

"You're such a horn dog," Darren laughs as he places a hand on Chris' hip to still him.  Even after fucking twice already this morning, he still is hungry for more.

"Mmm.  But I'm your horn dog.  So, is that a yes?"

"No."  Darren shakes his head as Chris pouts up at him.  "I don't want to just fuck you and that's it."  Reaching down between their bodies and palming Chris through his jeans, seeing him part his lips around a soft moan as he arches up into his touch.  "I want to have some fun."

"Oh, God!"

Darren grins at Chris immediately knowing what he means by those words.  Feeling fingers wrap around his tie and tug him down some, he faintly chuckles at how he knows what a small tug on this tie can imply.

"What kind of fun?"  Chris tips his head back, exposing the soft flesh of his long neck.  "Tell me."

Darren leans down and gently nips at skin, making sure he doesn't leave any marks for Chris' mom to see, he slowly continues to palm over Chris' erection.  "Lots and lots of fun."  He smiles against Chris' neck when he softly whimpers.

Placing a quick kiss to Chris' soft lips, and pulling his hand away, he pushes up off him and stands up off the bed.  "Time to go," he announces as he grabs Chris' hands and pulls him up.

"That's cruel and torturous."  Chris playfully glares at Darren as he stands.  "Not even a quick blowjob?"

"No.  You can wait."  Darren laughs as he shakes his head, finding Chris adorable when he sticks his tongue out at him.  But then worry overtakes him, and he starts to be concerned about what is going to happen with Karyn.

"Don't worry, Dare," Chris whispers into his ear after he presses close to Darren, winding his arms around his neck.  "She'll be happy for us."

"I hope so."

~

Taking a drink of his wine, Chris sitting close to him and twirling the red liquid in his wine glass, Darren is a ball of nerves and fear.  "I should take a shot to calm my nerves," he says as he drains the rest of the wine in his glass.

"Or I could take you to the bathroom and blow you," Chris seriously suggests instead, grinning and arching an eyebrow.  "That would work, too."

"That would."  Darren laughs as he pours more wine in his glass.  "You've done it before."

"I remember," Chris tells him, leaning over to whisper into Darren's ear.  "I gave you a blowjob in your new classroom."  Chris reaches down under the table, slipping his hand between Darren's legs and slowly sliding his hand up his inner thighs.  "It was one of the hottest things we've done.  The chance of being caught.  Me on my knees in that small, dark supply closet sucking you off while you did everything to be quiet."

Darren bites his lower lip and softly moans as Chris talks about that morning a few years ago as he rests his hand over his growing erection.  He tries to stay composed as Chris palms him; slow, gentle rolls of his hand that sends pleasure shooting up his spine.  Darren fights from thrusting up into Chris' hand; from seeking that friction he wants.  He wants to keep from scaring the other patrons in the restaurant.  "Chris," he quietly whines.

"God, Darren," Chris moans into his ear, rolling his wrist.  "I want you so bad, now.  Want that gorgeous cock I love so much in my mouth."

"Fuck, Chris!"  Darren closes his eyes and breathes, doing his best to focus on something entirely different that isn't Chris' hand that palming him, and the words he's whispering into his ear.

"Can't wait to get home so you can fuck me," Chris whispers.  "Fuck me all night.  Make me scream your name as you spill inside me."

"Oh, God!"  Looking around the restaurant, Darren stills when he sees Karyn walk inside.  Reaching down, he grabs Chris' hand and pulls it away.  "Your mom is here," he informs him, trying to calm his breathing.

Chris looks over to where he sees his mom.  "That she is.  Now, I bet you're not nervous anymore."

"A bit, still.  But, now, I'm also turned on as fuck.  Thanks," Darren laughs as he thinks terrible things to make his erection go away.  "Not how I wanted to meet your mom today."

"You're welcome."  Chris innocently laughs.  "Hi, Mom."  Darren watches as Chris stands up and hugs his mom like he wasn't just whispering filthy things into his ear seconds before.  How quickly he can go from sex crazed to acting innocent in a split second really shouldn't turn Darren on this much.  "Where's Hannah?"

"I had her stay with her aunt.  It sounded like you had some important news."

"You should have brought her," Chris tells her.  "I think she would have enjoyed this news.  You know she loves Darren."

"I didn't know, sweetie."

Darren knows Chris is right.  As long as it took to get Karyn to like him, it took much less time for Hannah to like him.  Actually, all it took was a surprise trip to Disneyland with her one weekend that summer after Chris graduated.  By the end she loved him; Chris had joked she liked him more than her own brother.  But, also, by the end of that weekend, he loved Chris' little sister in return.

Nervous as he stands up and leans over and hugs Karyn, Darren wonders if she can feel the worry radiating off him.  This is one of the more scary moments in his life.  "Hello, Mrs. Colfer."

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Karyn?"  She softly laughs and sits down.

"Yes, Ma'am."  Darren sits down and takes Chris' hand in his and squeezes it tight, feeling a bit of his nerves die when Chris squeezes back.

"I just have to ask," Karyn worriedly says before taking a drink of water.  "You two aren't moving, are you?  I like having you both close."

"No, we're not moving," Darren assures her, smiling.  "It's something else."  Looking to Chris, he gives him a supportive smile so he can tell his mom the news.

"Um...Mom," Chris starts off, Darren hearing his voice falter from nerves.  He squeezes his hand to show he's still here. 

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Darren asked me to marry him."  Darren watches a big, bright smile spreads across Chris' face.

"What did you say?"  Karyn asks, keeping the shock out of her voice.  But Darren can still see it in her eyes.

"He asked me to marry him,” Chris repeats with a hint of nerves to his voice.  “I said yes."  Chris lifts his hand with the engagement ring to show his mother.

For a few moments Chris' mom doesn't say a word.  She just looks back and forth between Chris and he, and Darren starts to panic that she might be angry.  He starts to worry that he made a huge mistake and she'll tell him that this is wrong.  He's already planning escape routes in his head.

"Mom?"  Chris cautiously says after a few minutes.

“This is great!”  Karyn excitedly exclaims, getting the attention of a few of the other patrons in the restaurant.

Darren feels instant relief wash over him.  It’s not what he expected, but he’ll happily take it.

“Really?”  Chris says, sounding a bit shocked.  “You’re not upset?”

“No.”  She shakes her head.  “Sweetie, I’m happy for you.  I guess congratulations are in order.”

Darren nods his head.

"Where's out waiter?"  Karyn looks around as she seeks out their waiter, calling him over when she finds him.  "We need to order champagne to celebrate."

~

On the drive back home after having a great dinner, something he thought wouldn't happen, Darren breathes a deep sigh of relief.  He thought it would be much worse than it was.  Karyn made sure to ask them if they were both sure about this, if they were ready for that kind of commitment.  She especially asked Chris if was ready to give up everything a normal

Taking Chris' hand resting on the center console, the metal of the ring cold against his skin, Darren lifts his hand and presses a kiss to the inside of Chris' wrist.

"Did that just happen?"  Darren chuckles as he stops at a red light.  "I totally expected something entirely different."

"Like what?"  Chris chuckles.  "A knife to the chest?"

"Ha ha," Darren replies with sarcasm dripping from his voice, but a quirk to his lips.  “But, no, I was expecting her to be more…upset, or something.”

“Good thing she wasn’t,” Chris says.  “She’s happy for us.  Besides, I don’t think anything she could have said would have convinced me to change my mind about this.”

“So, you’re absolutely positive you want to marry me, and spend the rest of your life with just me?”  Darren jokes with a small chuckle.

“Now that you put it that way.”  Chris laughs.  “Maybe I should cut and run while I can.”

“Funny,” Darren replies with a quirk of his lips and an arch of his eyebrow.

Chris leans over the center console and brushes his lips to Darren’s.  “You know I love you.  I’m ready to marry you, and spend the rest of my life with you, Old Man.”

“Good.”  Darren leans forward and takes Chris’ lips in a tender, sweet kiss.  Too quickly, he gets lost in the kiss, but someone honking their horn behind them has him pulling back with a laugh as he starts to drive.

“Come on,” Chris says as he sits back down.  “Get me home so we can have sex.”

Twenty minutes later, crowding Chris in the corner of the elevator, pressing close and fiercely kissing him, Darren grinds his hips forward, making Chris gasp into his mouth.  "Still want me to fuck you all night?" he whispers into Chris' ear as he drags his fingers down Chris' stomach.

"Yes," Chris replies, pressing his hips forward.

"Yes?"  Darren reaches around and shoves his hand in Chris' pants, surprised to find him not wearing underwear.  "That's incredibly sexy, Chris," he tells him as he presses the pad of his forefinger to Chris' entrance.

"You're welcome."  Chris laughs as he lifts his leg, hooking it over Darren's hip, and pushes his ass back on Darren's finger.

Darren moans as Chris grabs at his face and kisses him long and hard.

"Fuck," Chris growls into Darren's mouth.  "I want you so bad."

Darren feels his cock twitch against Chris' hip at those words.  Even after three years of sleeping together, of knowing Chris intimately in every sense of the word, he still manages to surprise him; make arousal swim through him with very few words.  After three years, he still wants Chris as much as that first night they slept together.  Darren feels as if that feeling will never go away, and he doesn't want it to.

"You want me, baby?" he growls into Chris' ear, pushing his hips into Chris', making him moan.  "You want me to press you down into the mattress and fuck you until you scream?"

Chris' reply is to drop his leg and turn in Darren's arms.  He presses his back on Darren's body, rubbing his ass back into Darren's groin.  He looks over his shoulder at Darren, smirk on his lips as he says, "Fuck, yes!”  Chris rocks his hips back again, making Darren moan.  “I can tell you want me; can feel you so hard for me.  You want to fuck me?”  Chris leans back and flicks his tongue over Darren’s lips.

Darren grabs at Chris' hips, starting to grind his cock forward into Chris' ass.  He loves when Chris dirty talks with him; it makes him that just more desperate to fuck him.  And Chris knows that.  He uses that piece of information to his advantage all the time.  A normal moment of just watching television on the couch can suddenly be changed by Chris sitting in his lap whispering filthy things into his ear.  The smirk Darren usually sees on Chris' lips as he fucks him in one of those moments is the same one he wears now.

"You know I do," Darren growls into Chris' ear as he reaches around and palms Chris over his pants.

Before he can do anything more, the elevator stopping and dinging before the doors open, Darren takes Chris' hand and steps off on to their floor.  They both make a quick dash for their apartment down the hall.  Standing behind Chris as he hastily unlocks the door to their apartment, undoing his tie, Darren pulls it off.  Stepping inside after Chris, he shuts the door and quickly covers Chris' eyes with the silk tie.  Tying it behind his head, he steps around to look at Chris.

The sight of Chris with this tie around his eyes always makes him remember his twenty-ninth birthday and how Chris touched himself; looked gorgeous as he got himself off as he let him watch.

"Ready to have some fun?"  Darren asks as he shrugs out of his jacket.

"Yes," Chris breathily replies, lifting his hands out in front of him and tentatively taking a step forward.

Darren looks at the engagement ring resting on Chris' ring finger.  Seeing the silver band there, he never thought this is where his life would end up when he agreed to take that job at Chris' old high school.  It was by accident, or fate, that he found out about the position and applied.

He knows now he was meant to go there; he was meant to meet Chris and fall in love with him.  Together, they were meant to find each other in this huge world and share their lives with each other.

It wasn't the most conventional of ways to be with someone.  It went against rules and laws, ones he never thought he'd break when he finished school and started teaching.  The age difference between is nothing to concern themselves about.  Age is just a number; besides, Chris makes him feel young.

In the end, Darren knows it was all worth it.  As long as he gets to love Chris every day for the rest of their lives together, he will.

Winding his hand around Chris' neck and pulling him into a slow, languid kiss, he can't remember a time before Chris when he was this happy.

"That was unexpected," Chris remarks, breathing a bit heavier.

"I just really, really love you," Darren sighs against his lips.

Chris smiles.  "I love you, too."

Slowly dragging his teeth along Chris' lower lip, reaching down and pulling his hips close to his, hearing him softly gasp, Darren gently rocks forward.  Quickly stepping back from Chris, chuckling when he blindly reaches out for him, he starts to undo the buttons of his dress shirt.  "I want you naked.  Polo."

Chris grins as he reaches up to start working his own buttons open on his shirt.  It doesn't take long for him to get down to nothing.  Darren stares at Chris' gorgeous naked body as he kicks away his shoes and undoes his pants.  "Marko," Chris says with a grin, like he knows Darren is staring; can feel his eyes on him.

"Polo."  Starting to slowly walk backwards to their bedroom, continuing to undress, watching as Chris follows the sound of his voice, hands out in front of him to know where he is going, Darren feels his heart soar. 

Going up behind Chris and grabbing him, pulling him back against his body, Darren leads him the few steps to the bed.  "Say my name now," he growls into Chris' ear as he bends him over the bed.

"Darren," Chris breathily replies as he listens for where Darren is after he steps away from him.  Darren watches as Chris turns his head in his direction after hearing him close a drawer.  "And that's not how the game goes.  I'm supposed to find you, not the other way around."

Darren steps behind Chris and bends over his body, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.  "You did find me, Chris," he whispers into Chris' ear, no longer talking about the game.  "And I found you.  We found each other."

Chris turns his head and smiles.  "We did find each other."

Darren pulls the tie away from around Chris' eyes and turns him onto his back.  Leaning down and kissing Chris slow, delving his tongue into his mouth, feeling him wind his arms around his neck, Darren can't think of any other place he'd rather be than in bed with his fiancé, Chris.

"Okay," Darren pants when he breaks the kiss.  "Time to end this night right."

"Hell yeah!"  Chris excitedly says as he drops open his legs more.  Darren reaches for the lube he dropped on the bed.  "What about the tie?"  Chris asks.

"Later," Darren tells him as he squeezes lube onto his fingers.  He settles between Chris' legs, gazing down at him.  "Want to see you."  He sees Chris smile up at him as he reaches down between Chris' legs and pushes in with the first finger.  He stretches him quick; both of them desperate to get to the good part.

Pushing into Chris after stretching him open, his ass hot and tight around his cock, seeing him tip his head back and moan, Darren leans down and brushes his lips over Chris' slightly parted ones.  "I love you," Darren whispers against Chris' lips after he starts to move his hips.

"I love you, too," Chris replies as he stares up at him with eyes that have entranced him from the moment he saw them.

And in that moment, staring at his fiancé, Darren definitely knows that some rules are totally worth being broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to every single one of you that read this story of mine and left a wonderful message. I had fun writing this one. But it has come to an end. So, I hope you enjoyed reading this crazy story of mine.


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